The 'We are brooking no arguments whatsoever for an uneventful pregnancy and pain-free birth' thread

[Biscuitsandtea]

Ladies, our previous thread was getting full so here is a lovely new shiny home for us all.

I've put some comfy cushions around and plenty of pregnancy safe snacks and drinks. The Segway park is in the corner over there next to the stack of glittery vom buckets (plenty of extra buckets too for all the newbies).

In the corner over here you'll find our library of leaflets including sections on early pregnancy private scan clinics, pushchairs and car seats.

Hope you all like it very much :)

You're right Love we are v lucky.

I think that would be a great mix if you have a mw led unit attached to the hospital. I would have loved to use the pool in our labour unit but DS was prem so don't think their monitoring equipment would have been compatible with me being in the water!!

I won't worry then if they decide that I'm low risk enough for mw led - I'll consider it a good thing if I'm low risk! So long as it doesn't mean they'll try to delay my epidural in any way!! Thanks for giving me more info about the process, this is all so new to me!

Anyways I'm planning to book the most forceful independent mw I can find, to make sure she's a really strong advocate on labour day and gets me straight onto that epidural asap!

I have been overwhelmed by the brilliance of the NHS recently. I've always had health insurance so have just gone private if anything's needed doing (other than quick trips to GP), but it doesn't cover pregnancy so am discovering the amazing world of miraculous, free, efficient healthcare. I can't believe we get all this professional care just from paying tax - amazing.

No, electrocution is rarely good, Biscuits!

I was particularly horrified when I read a thread on here about how much it costs to go private for pregnancy care. I don't know if it would be cheaper in countries where there is no NHS but it was like £10,000 upwards.

Someone had put a post on that their medical insurance covered £10k of costs and the general response was 'you'll be lucky to get it all for that'! And I can't imagine panicking thinking 'oh no - I hope they don't keep me in any longer - I can't afford it!'

So you'd either need to be minted or have insurance that covered it properly/. You wouldn't want insurance that almost covered it and then just at the end having to panic when things might go wrong and you've used up the bit they'll pay for.

Probably not......

Perhaps electrocution would take your mind off contractions, though?

Quite agree re the scary thought of thinking "oh god, what if I need an EMCS, I can't afford it" while in labour. I bet it's terrifyingly expensive in places like the US - a friend broke her leg out there and the (thankfully insured) hospital bills were hundreds of thousands of dollars! Imagine the cost of nine months of care then birth...

Hello!

Today I am wearing anti-nausea bands for the first time and haven't been sick... coincidence or are they working?!? I'm quite overly excited that they're working!!!

Unless you're high risk for some reason you generally stay with m/w led care scream. For a low risk pregnancy what's a consultant going to tell you anyway? I also chose to give birth in hospital anyway, but as it was I didn't go into labour after my waters broke so was induced after 36 hours. And there the grimness began. So I was consultant led for my induction/birth as it was unfavourable cervix so classed as high-risk induction, starved for section throughout (all that gas and air but not allowed to sip water- bad!). They do step you up to consultant care if you need it. I'm not 100% sure, but I think you might be able to choose to see a consultant anyway, but I didn't becasue what was I going to say?! I'm scared of giving birth? they'd have shoved me out the door faster than you can say 'crackpot!' Just don't opt for a m/w led unit. You do still have the choice of that, though the new proposals being talked about are trying to force women into m/w led units with low risk pregnancies unless I've got it wrong?! (someone please tell me I've got it wrong!). I was very glad of the specialist embroidery team, like biscuits....

biscuits, on the subject of third degree tears. Mine took forever to heal- like nearly 7 months before it was pain-free. Didn't have infection or anything like that, but it just bloody hurt!!! Plus, I (like i'm sure you did) lost a lot of blood and was very anaemic, though just avoided transfusion by the skin of my teeth. What was your healing like? What are you thinking for this time? Will you be going for a natural birth or ELCS? I take it you will have risks discussed at your consultant appointment.... I want to know about risk of re-tearing. I don't know how much more my perineum can take!!!!

oh, ad if I could start in the m/w led unit and nip down the corridor if it went wrong thats a whole different story. For me to go to the midwife led uni, it's a 30 minute drive including the motorway. Not where you want to be in an emergency. You can request an epidural scream, I was adamant I didn't want one and the midwife INSISTED i had one- said I wouldn't make it to a natural birth without, believe me, i'm the experienced one, you're going to be here a very long time etc etc. DH backed up m/w so I had it. So don't think all m/w's are anti-pain relief. Not my experience.

Dream I don't think mine took all that long to heal - it all seemed to go ok, but I was referred for physio to make sure everything was working (ish) down there. I have to say though there was no action for DH for a loooong time as I was way too scared! Having said that I did have pooing problems for a good few months which were also haemorrhoids but I suspect were related to the whole tear thing so probably 3-4 months at least before it was back to normal ish. (I think I've mainly blocked it out of my memory now, hence my vagueness!)

The m/w at the booking in never talked about whether I would have a chance of ELCS or not so I'd not really thought about it too much. I think the way it works is that when I go for my 20 week scan I have to see the consultant or a registrar or someone at the same time and they'll see what they want to do with me. I think I might ask about it then and the next time I see my m/w at 16 weeks too. I've not really thought about what Id prefer. I imagine maybe someone would have to look down there and see what sort of condition it is in? No idea? Ill be glad to have had someone think it through for me though.

My labour has similar bits though. My waters broke first and (I think because i was still not 37 weeks) they kept me in overnight and said if i hadn't started labouring properly within 24 hrs they would induce me so they were obv worried about something. But then contractions started overnight, however, you know how they say they should start short and far apart and increase in length and get closer together? Well mine were always short and close together - I just think I wasn't quite ready to go into labour and that's why he wasn't coming out. But I never had an epidural. I guess I wasn't even there that long really. I mean I went in at about 5:30 one evening, then stayed over night, went down to the labour suite about 5am the next morning and DS was born at 2:30. All done on gas and air though (which I didn't like at all - bleurgh!) and then a spinal straight after for the stitches - if i'd known i wasn't going to be able to push him out anyway and I'd need a spinal I soooooo would have had an epidural! But I'd read all this about 'you can't feel to push properly with an epidural' (I couldn't tell when to push anyway!).

I'm rambling and way off point here anyway.

biscuits My epidural wore off- they were absolutely hopeless, they didn't explain you had to ask for a top up, I was so exhausted by then- like 26 hours in, and it wore off for pushing for me, I could feel when to push and god, did I feel the tearing!! They couldn't get the epidural in for me, consultant had 5 goes, so just topped it up for theatre, didn't dare take it out and try and spinal so I had some patchy cover for the last bit, and could feel the last stitches fully.... we tried to DTD, from about 4 onths on, far, far too painful until 7 months post birth. Also had loads of pain and bleeding pooing, got referred to the surgeons, they wanted to do a flexible sigmoidoscopy which I didn't want so self discharged, as if they had fixed the haemorrhoids or whatever the problem was there was no way on knowing if it would return with another pregnancy/birth so I said no thanks!!!!

Hmmm. I do think recovery is still better after a normal delivery.... can i face ELCS anyway??? Hard. but m/w was not reassuring- i assumed she'd just say oh you'll be fine to have another normal delivery but she didn't. Maybe just being cagey til seen my old notes or something.

oh, and HEURGH!!!!!!! I can confirm I have a very empty tummy again and the anti-nausea wristbands haven't cured me!!!!

Yes I had pain pooing and bleeding for ages too - I wasn't sure whether it was the tear but thinking about it it must have been. And I couldn't do anything in the walking department but shuffle for at least 3 weeks. Sounds complicated what they wanted to do to you though - eek!!

Might just ask mine at the next appt. An ELCS sounds so easy but I know the recovery from them can be sooooo difficult can't it. Mind you when I couldn't push DS out I would have bitten their hand off if they had offered me on then! I remember feeling vaguely deflated when they said forceps!

Hello people!

Have just found the new thread and we're on page 4 already! There is no way I can remember even half of what people have been saying.

Congrats on the scan, Deny! Good luck everyone else having one this week.

Biscuits, I'm probably opting for an ELCS because the other option is early induction with continual monitoring. I don't think it is necessarily v difficult to recover from - some people seem to have it easy and some have it hard, but there isn't any telling which you'll be in advance. So I might be lucky - Mum had an EMCS with me and my sister and she said she recovered quickly. I have been reading almost every CS thread in Childbirth and the consensus seems to be that you really do have to take it easy afterwards or you'll mess up your healing. That might be a lot harder with toddlers around, though!

Hmmm - worth thinking about thats Too. I would be very worried about re-tearing anything and it perhaps not healing up second time around. At least they'd get a clean shot at my stomach muscles (such as they are!). I do know a few people who've had them and don't seem too bad after. But then it's hard to know if it is hurting them or not iyswim - I mean they're not groaning in agony every time they breathe or anything but then I don't remember telling everyone just how much it hurt to walk so I guess they perhaps just don't mention it. It might not even be offered to me anyway so I'll have to see what they say.

I can confirm that you should definitely take it easy after a CS. I spent the first almost 2 months after my EMCS in a zombie like state, as i got an infection in my scar which no one figured out till 6 weeks. I had ended up going to the out of hours doc to get it looked at and the nurse swabbed it just to humour me I think (it didn't look too bad from the outside). I then got a call from the surgery a few days later saying come and pick up your antibiotics prescription! Felt soooo much better after they started working though.

Apparently infections are quite common, but maybe putting your feet up a bit will help rest and let the scar heal a bit. I am lucky that I will have DH at home as he is a SAHD, so it is a bit less daunting than last time when he was back to work after a couple of weeks.

You do get sent home with a load of painkillers, make sure you get the doctor/midwife to keep your supply up as mine was almost running out and the midwife had to send DH out to get more. Also take them at regular intervals rather that remembering when it hurts!

I am def going to try for VBAC, don't really want another section unless it's necessary. Can't imagine keeping DS from bumping it that easily for one! I apparently will get a consultant appointment at 34 weeks to discuss it. I can totally see the appeal of a planned CS and it being quite calm and organised etc though...

Our MW unit is in the same building as the consultant bit, so I am not sure if I might be allowed to labour in the MW bit with pool etc.

No news here, still just hungry!!!!!

Yes, taking it easy with a toddler just won't happen. And I want more than 2 children so am tempted to try another normal birth, and if i tear again, go for ELCS for the last (DH puts his foot down at 3!!!). My step sister had a section for failure to progress with her first birth, then EMCS for her second, then had to have a ELCS for her third- she said there was nothing elective about it, it was hideous and she hated it. she got MRSA in her wound after number 3, couldn't even pick the baby up to feed her, let alone her 2 and 3 year olds and def doesn't recommend it. She said even after the first, recovery was difficult. I do think if this was def my last child i'd still consider the ELCS more positively though!!

biscuits, my friend went running 5 days after having her second, natural birth, no stitches. The not walking part is DEF linked to the third degree tear. As we won't be doing that agan, and Brooking No Argument about it, it won't affect us

and too, induction with monitoring is not best fun, but i think you recover afterwards better. However, with your clotting problem, I think i'd just want them to get the baby out fast and healthy this time so i'm with you!!!! ELCS.

jaggy, my friends second born is 6 months now, VBAC, she said much better than the first who was massive- 10lb 4, and stuck, and ended up EMCS. She had ventouse for her second i think and a small tear but said she was running about WAY faster!! second was also over a lb smaller. She has the world's most active and boisterous 2 year old so she was so relieved.

AAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHH

I'm having a panic.

Do any of you wise women know if it usual to feel bruised and have a few pains after a transvaginal scan? There was a medical student observing and the sonographer was making me press down on my ovaries for ages while she was pointing out follicles etc and I suspect the probe was inserted for a little longer than normal but I could feel it against my cervix which was quite uncomfortable (no longer than 5 mins total). But the last hour or so I've been having these twinges in the whole area that have set me into a panic. I just phoned EPU and they said they'd never heard of that before Are they right? I'm so worried now.

Hello, can I join your thread? I am not particularly good at this positivity stuff but I like your style and am giving it my best shot! I am, I think, about 8 and a half weeks with DC2 and I have a DD who is 2.

Does anyone know anything about the nuchal fold test? I won't see anyone until the 12 week scan. I think the hospital I am going to offers the nuchal fold measurement, but I presume I won't know until I turn up for the appointment?! We opted not to have any tests last time, for various reasons. The nuchal fold wasn't offered then, only blood tests and an amnio, if necessary, at about 18 weeks so I just had the 20 week scan.

I will be consultant-led this time, I think, as my blood pressure went haywire at 35 weeks and DD had IUGR. I had a planned section at 37 weeks so if anyone wants to ask anything about ELCS or recovery I would be happy to share my experiences.

Anyway, I have really rambled on. Let me offer you some ginger nuts and decaf tea

Gosh Scarlet I've never heard of that, but only had one transvaginal scan and that was when they identified my m/c so I'm not sure. Did the EPU say they'd take another look or anything?

Hope everything is OK. It sounds as though it might likely be sore if it was in there for a while - just try and take it easy. Can DH come home to help with DS or anything so you can rest up for a bit?

No Biscuits they just said to ring if it got any worse.

TBH it's not that bad, I am possibly overthinking it. But it is there and it is noticeable and it wasn't there before.

The last few times I've had internal scans were during MCs so obviously I was in a fair bit of discomfort anyway so wouldn't know whether it was the scan or the MC that made me feel bruised. I did have an internal scan at 8 weeks with DS but that was so long ago and it really wasn't on my radar at that time that anything could go wrong, so I've no idea what to think

I don't have any experience of tv scans Scarlet but I would have thought it quite possible that you could be bruised, especially if there was a lot of pressing/ prodding. I second resting if at all possible. Hope you feel better soon and phone the EPU again if you don't!

Hi Fishcake - you are most welcome indeed. And congratulations on your pregnancy! . Anyone who starts with 'I like your style' is welcome in my book :)

Hi all!

Hope we've all had good days! Mine's been bearable - kids were all lovely, and met some lovely new staff, so all's good on that front...

However, I need some brook no argument energy please. Have been bleeding since mid morning - relatively light, but it's there - and enough to make me worry. Some slight abdominal discomfort too, of course, which heightens the worried-ness..

Have just called the doctors - I have to wait until 6 until someone gets back to me, as the doctor's in surgery at the moment. So until then I'm just.. worrying... poor DH is incredibly worried too :( I know there that bleeding during the first trimester is quite , but obviously knowing that doesn't lessen my worrying at all...