Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

tjuice i put the stairgate on his door. to be honest that's up to you if you want to go back, i didn't i just went the once and then once i knew he was ok i ignored him, and ignored everything, even him throwing books and toys down the stairs (which as they are uncarpeted at the moment was very noisy in the middle of the night). But if you want to go back i'd try the making gaps longer. the health visitor advised me to just ignore all of it, but it is very hard, i managed it ...... just, but i can't say i wasn't very upset and feeling very guilty about it. If she's always been a good sleeper (like ds had been) until recently i wouldn't think it'd take long to get her back into the habit. But whatever/however you decide to do it you both need to agree to stick to it because it will be tough. I did explain to ds before we started but to be honest he was a bit too young to understand what i was talking about at the time. i'm here if you have any queries, or just need support.

stace hope you had a nice bath. yes and no, the sooner (although obviously not new born) they are in a routine the better, simple things like making sure they're awake when you put them to bed can be life savers later. sounds daft but i'm serious, my 9 yr old dss can't get himself to sleep, my dh has to read him to sleep every weekend. if he wakes up he cries cause he can't get back to sleep, if dh doesn't read to him for long enough he cries. we had a horrendous weekend this last weekend cause he just kept waking up and crying over and over again cause he couldn't get back to sleep. my 3 yr old deals better at nighttime, and cause we only have him 1 night at the weekend 2 occasionally, we had to play by the rules otherwise we'd get moaned at by dh's ex, so now i have my 3 yr old on the top bunk cause the 9 yr old can't get to sleep in it cause he's too scared.

as for the leaky boobies, mine haven't actually leaked obviously yet, i can smell it on them and a couple of times there's been crusty bits (sorry tmi) but not actual leakage.

poppet sorry xpost, glad everything was clear. I'm sure once she's home everything will be smooth running and boring. i think it was outrageous that they didn't at least let you know about the lumbar puncture.

oh and tjuice we didn't mind him playing in his room cause sometimes he'd do that, but he wasn't leaving until the sun had come up. Again it's whatever you want to do, what your happy with.

Poppet I hope it becomes more uneventful for you soon!

Tjuice Having gone through this with 3...my advice would end up being the complete opposite of everyone elses' of course, but all families are different, so I won't bore you as I think you've already found what works best for you, you just need to get back to it. Before you put in the routine though, look to see if there is anything getting her up for you like my two year got up for a bit because she couldn't pull her duvet back up when she'd kicked it off (she loves her duvet so this really made her angry). Access to liquids/potty in the night, nightmares/spooky shadows on the wall, too much stuff or pictures around the room being too stimulating (some kids find it helpful to have things put away where they can't see it at night or their imagination runs away with them) - ease of access to you may be one of those things or she may be so concerned about not having access (particularly if she's having nightmares) which may be why she's coming to you. I found going through the room and aiming more towards it being restful at night than playful during the day very helpful for my kids (and they used to all share the room so there was plenty to keep them up!) in getting them into better sleep.

Also remember, this too shall pass, she will eventually become a teenager that you can't get out of bed, and if you become very desperate for sleep, do as my husband did (DD1 has horrible nightmares and we had to wait until she was old enough to use coping mechanisms herself) and get a sleeping mat/mattress for the floor by the bed to crash doze on, having a parent in line of sight seems to keep down popping up and staying down until she was out and calm rather than back and forth was more restful for him.

I am currently very sore, the top of my bump feels so tender and heavily bruised. I'm also down to my last skirt - I seemed to have grown out of the rest overnight so now living partially in my robe, waiting for the washing machine and some new maternity dresses in the post (anything across the bump really irritates the skin right now so I'm keeping the skirt for appointments when I need bump access and moving on to dresses). Also preparing for Rosh Hashanah which for me involves making sure there is transport, food, activities for kids, and working through contemplative literature with my husband (he sees me better than I see myself sometimes).

Kangas Shana Tova for tomorrow! I was married to a Jew, and celebrated all the "big ones" - Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur were my favourites!

cep With regards to your 9yo - I was a really bad sleeper up until I was 10 - and the only thing that worked for me was to sleep with a table light on, a clock radio-alarm set to switch off after 1 hour and the option of being able to sleep in my parents room if it got really bad.
I slept with the light and radio on until about age 23, but more out of habit. I just didn't like the thought of being alone, and having the evening Radio 4 programme on really soothed me.
Although I must say I think me sleeping in my parents bed on a regular basis contributed to there being 7 years between me and my sister...

Oh and Willow and Sylvie-Rose So inspiring to hear all your roller coaster days - stay strong!

Evening all. Freaking me out with this bedtime talk. Especially as I was reading it while listening to my son wailing "want mummy to put you to bed" through a veil of slober and tears upstairs - he has "you" and "me" back to front at the momment. And we are working on my partner being able to put him to bed for when this one is born, as its been a problem so far. Anyway. Keep having to remind myself that just because other people are doing it that way, doesnt make it right for me. i just cant do the leaving to cry thing. Cant do it, wont do it. Just not for me. seems to work well for everyone who does do it and stick with it, and lord knows I look on with jealousy at parents who dont spend an hour each evening sat in the dark with their hands through the cot bars trying to convince a toddler to shut up and go to sleep. But the whole principle of the thing, the message it sends about power and communication and validation of feelings and stuff, I just wont do it. Clearly MY methods are fantastic, as obviously MY toddler has learnt to sleep SO well and SO early (please detect overriding tone of sarcasm there). But still. I'm a bit precious about my baby's feelings. But then, its kind of my job to be precious about feelings I guess.
Damnit, forgotton what else I wanted to say. Poppet, my mum AND my cousin have heart murmers, and while neither of them are likely to be competing in the olympics, they are also both fully functioning adults with no real day to day problems at all. Never the less, I hope the rollercoaster settles into a runaway train and then calms right on down to a monorail for you.
Also continuing to think of Sylvie-Rose. Home so soon! Fantastic!
And Caz, sounds like Xander is readying himself. That nursery change over must have been such a mix of feelings - like you say, thats not going to go away really. But I think you're doing such lovely things to keep Belle's presence in your family story rather than just her absence being all there is. Cause thats not all there is, you'll always have that part of you which is her making, and wall colours arent going to take that away.
I am SURE there was something else I was going to say.

NotJust I'm the same, the top of my bump is very tender too. And there is a certain spot sort of to the middle and down a bit that is very sore too, it feels like its just about to tear open. I feel like I need a big massive bandage round my middle, like Mr Bump!

And Cali, I was/am a rubbish sleeper all my life. Some of us just are. But from the age of about 6 I was convinced that I couldnt sleep withough being able to hear that my parents were still up, so I'd have my door open so I could hear the tv. Every night I would lie awake until they went to bed. Then I would feel miserable that I would be alone and unable to sleep when everyone else was asleep. Then I would promptly fall asleep. In retrospect, I realise the TV noise and th elight was keeping me awake every night. I'm the same now. Someone flushes a loo two streets away and I cant sleep through it. We spent a few weeks in Norway one summer and I pretty much didnt sleep, my body just wouldnt turn off cause it never got fully dark. Some of us are, as I say, just rubbish sleepers. I've always woken up multiple times each night too. Oddly, after what I just said, being read to works within about half an hour nine times out of ten.

Gosh, all the night night chat is freaking me out! Both Oh and I are sleepers - we can do a 10 stretch no problem. Neither of us had disturbed sleep when we were little either - so much so that I was a bit of a wee the bed (eek to that confession).

The idea of a baba that doesn't take after us is scary monsters!

I'll be lavendering the sheets just in case.

Having a damn blast buggeroo moment. After months of having an upside down baby The Boy has just decided to go breech - well I think he has. Kicks are now low and twiddly hands high. BLAST! Ok Boy you can have a wee holiday but I want you right back down by tomorrow - there's a good lad.

thanks for the sleep advice everyone!

and of course, as with everything in parenting, I say each to their own and have no problems with differing opinions (except if someone is being pedantic but then, even if you are simply explaining your point of view, it can sound like you are putting others down a bit)

I personally think good sleep habits (for both kids and adults) are learnt skills and are a real blessing, even "transformative" to get grand about it. I do get bouts of insomnia myself and I know its from stress etc but also from bad sleep "hygiene" as my DH calls it.

Anyway, off I am to make the most of tonight...

Tjuice apparently bad sleepers are usually very intelligent so take heart in the idea that you will be the worn-out parents of a rocket-scientist.
It does seem to be out of fashion at the moment but I did find tough love worked best for sleep issues. I always let my boys know that yes, I could hear them, yes, I was looking after them, but no, they couldn't get out of bed. I did cc with all of them, not as small babies but when they were wilful toddlers and I knew they were taking the piss! I would put them to bed, if they cried I would go in, pat them, say "Bedtime" and walk back out. I would do this at longer and longer intervals till they fell asleep. The first night generally took 45 minutes, the second 10 minutes and after that they were good as gold and slept through.

Well, today, the nurse said, I have to go in to the hospital at 5am on Friday morning and talk to the ophthalmologist myself as she will be having another eye exam before she goes home. I asked whether the eye exam was brought forward because of what was seen the last time and was told no, it's because I am worried and my questions are best answered by the ophthalmologist himself. So I am happier in that I will hopefully get answers but OMG, 5am. It's very early, isn't it?

PamSco On all fours, bum in the air, read something so you're bending forwards - one of the tricks I think lead to Sprout turning so early and engaging well. (Spinning Babies, obviously).
DP walked in on me doing it on the bed in a less than dressed state the other day, and chortled saying "Now, now, that's what got us in this trouble in the first place" - cheeky so-and-so!

I'm feeling absolutely out of sorts today - walked around Manc looking at wedding dresses with the client (I managed to find the train fare in shrapnel - felt like a bum as I sat in the Arndale Centre food court eating my packed lunch of bread and mayonnaise and water - I can't believe they don't provide free drinking water though - shocking!), then after 4 hours came home, collapsed on the bed and snored away until 8.30 pm... Splitting headache now, but looking forward to a lie in tomorrow and a day off with DP...

Cali I spend most of my evenings in the same position - mainly for comfort. I'm guessing he turned fairly easily and it is early days he can turn back!

Hope you feel better soon.

chip hope the appt goes positively - bloomin early though!

Pam Me too - at one point it was the only way to stop her kicking the daylights out of my bladder.

5am chip? i thought that was a typo til got to the end of your post. Are they trying to test to see how interested you really are?!

Hard to catch up so apologies for things I have missed.

willow sounds like a wee fighter Poppet, I hopw you have a bit more a restful end of week.

Tjuice I love Danish 50s furniture but it is really expensive to buy here (hence I own none) so gobble it up while you can. I also love 60s furniture too but that's a bit easier to buy second hand and in vintage shops.

I'm on the countdown to mat leave now. Have recruited two great people for my post (although let's hope not too good eh, one of the external people I asked to come on to the four person panel kept commenting on how generous and not territorial I was being, I began to think hmmmm maybe I should be finding someone crappy...)

Still got lots to do in the next 6 working days but my insomnia seems to have stopped- which makes me think that it was stress work related rather than pregnancy. Still wake up a few times during night with hands and pees but get back to sleep. All since Friday when got the final person for post. Doesn't take Poirot to see the connection.

Cali who the hell is this house guest? they neither sound like a friend nor family? Can't you just tell them what's what? Too much for a Very Pregnant Lady, I hope you are saying bye bye soon.

Reet must get up an at 'em. Have a good day y'all.

Sleep, I just need sleep......
Hi everyone, hope we are all ok. Poppet and chip I truly hope things even out for the wee ones soon. Cali your guest sounds erm interesting! Pam I have given in trying to work out which way round she is now, shall see today at Mw appt but I spend a lot of time lying forwards over the birthing ball hoping to make sure she is the right way! Folic, well reasoned my dear! Hercule has nuzzing on you today! Haha. I don't know if I responded when you mentioned meeting up in October, even if Snoozle isn't local then we can look at arranging something should you wish!
I've had a crappy week at work so far and it's only weds. The girl I've been covering for in our office is coming back after ML and she is a pain to say the least, she sneaks off to see the manager and asks to swap desks with me when I'm off! I was like erm no! That's my desk and I've had it 3 years! Nobody has sat at her desk whilst she has been off and the manager initiated a move around as he wanted to see what work she was actually doing and then sort of caves and considers her request. I am afraid he got the wrath of pg and only slightly hormonal voodoo! Grrr.
Mw today where we are going to request a homebirth due to crapness of antenatal care at the hospital and their determination to over medicalise my care when there is nothing wrong with me or bubs. Ah my stress levels are potentially quite high too! Never mind, hope everyone is ok x

Quick question:

Anyone else not buying button down nighties? I'm now thinking vest tops and bottoms as top and bottom half are a few sizes of difference. Then the vest tops could be used underneath tops for discreet brestfeeding once get hang of it.

Sorry if this has been done before. Times like this I wish there was a quick poll option on here.

folicacid I've been looking for buttoned pj tops and pjs for after birth as haven't slept in a nightie for about 15 years and just don't think I'd find it comfy.

aaargh - once again, catatonic with lack of sleep. And this is BEFORE newborn. We put her back for an hour and a half last night before DH caved and slept in her bed. Trip to Ikea for security gate beckoning...

notjust - thanks for your inputs too - will definitely think about those thing especially the bedroom. My quirky norwegian friend is going to help me redecorate DD bedroom soon (her website www.kantideudvikling.dk/) but now I think calmness will help make a nice room to sleep in.

folic - that is exactly what I was thinking of doing, for warmth as well. I have bought a couple of breastfeeding nighties from mothercare but reality is, I prefer pjs in this icy tundra. I've got all these cosy flannel pajama bottoms so will just wear those with a clip down vest from H&M plus a soft cardi for middle of night feeding. Sorted!
(H&M do have a good pajama set at the moment - its black and white and has a long-sleeved top with button-down front opening)

My best friend (mum of two) is a stylist and film costumier and she says she will do a new mum "moodboard" for my post-birth inspiration. She reckons topshop parka, check or denim shirts with breastfeeding vest underneath, cardigans, comfy soft jeans and new balance trainers. Sounds great but am wondering if the reality may be pajamas shoved in snow boots with any old coat on top, paired with "crack-head" hair (if only to freak out the beautiful danish media-mums at kindergarten ;)

well, better do some work - only 6 days left...

I haven't worn anything in bed for 30 years. Not sure I can start now? Though OH is getting nervous about the nudey ways with a child. I say that's what bedroom doors are for? My mam and dad slept nude - we knew not to wander in!

I've got a couple of nightshirts. Mainly because they were easy to clean and dry and I was suffering from night sweats after birth. Plus leaking boobs at night (when I gradually stopped expressing at night).

I would go with what you are comfortable in. I do remember the maternity ward being v warm for the newborns though.

This is the soft jersey H&M pajama set but they have lots of bottoms too.

folic I have some BF sleep bras (found them usefukl with DS as leaked loads and they held breast pads in place) so am wearing those along with uber comfy pj bottoms from primark - the pj bottoms are suitable to be answering the door in!! Have a wrap around pj top to shove on during the day as well for on days when getting dressed won't happen :)

poppet hope Willow continues to improve, she is such a little fighter xx

chip glad to hear that the eye problems aren't as bad as first thought, good luck with your 5am appt. Yay for having a day for Sylvie Rose to come home, hope it goes smoothly xx

The working 2hrs a day is going well so far :) not working today as have appts therefore work told me to not go in. 34wk MW appt shortly, hoping to arrange home visit to confirm all is ok for a homebirth xx

Hope everyone is well xx

Just on forca quick whinge having just cried in Boots - I seem to have developed thrush and they won't sell me anything and it was just the final straw after barely sleeping due to it :-( did something to my back y'day too so that's bloomin' killing too. Feeling sorry for myself. Left message with doc and seeing MW later so will hopefully get prescription but feel like I'm suffering unnecessarily esp. as the external cream is safe and the stupid girl didn't know I was pg til I told her. Hmmpphh.