TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD

[Biscuitsandtea]

Afternoon.

I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

Buzzy - nice to see you :-)

To be honest I think far too many inductions are carried out and it's far better to wait for nature to take its course (if at all possible). I'm not sure if they want inductions so they can organise their workload better, although given that its not uncommon for inductions to end with further inverventions and (worse case scenarios) sections it's hardly cost-effective to my mind - maybe the signs of a growing litigious culture and a risk-averse nhs?

My friend also had a baby at 41 (same as me) and they never offered her an induction at all, in fact her son was breech and they offered to let her deliver vaginally (a lot of places refuse) but he turned last minute but was about 10 days late and she gave birth in a midwife led unit.

We're led to believe that the women having babies late is a modern thing, but it's so not, my mum had me at 39 (I was her fifth) and back in the day lots of women with big families had kids at 40, only difference now is that some women having a baby at 40 are having their first not fifth or sixth.

I know how you feel about wanting your baby to arrive- it's a bloody long 40 weeks when you feel crap! Hope you have a good weekend.

Ah, my m & d moved to the uk about a month or so ago. Always in the plan but expedited by the arrival of a certain DGD . They're up the road by about an hour, which is awesome

ele Gorgeous pics of Hamish. Thanks for sharing.
buzzy I concur with Ele, epidural isn't a given with induction. I only managed 2 paracetamol (until the last couple of pushes when they put in a block).
Everything turned totally to custard this week but Plunket (health visitor/child wellbeing organisation) and my GP have been fantastic. I'm back on citalopram for the PND and armed with sleeping pills for the insomnia that strikes. So long as I can keep up with the sleep I cope ok.

teu glad you are being taken care of, sorry I meant epidural for the c section,

princess must be nice to have your parents close by

teu so sorry it all went pear shaped last week but really glad you're getting some support (and drugs :) Really hoping you manage to catch some zeds to help you along (not easy with baby teu I'd imagine!)

re pics of hamish, I was sitting looking at his newborn pics and just thinking how big he seems now (getting broody, already?). We know this will be our last baby so felt like I wanted to share him (maybe get me used to the fact this will be our last - really wish I had met Mr E when I was 20 and that I had perfect fertility - reckon I'd have had a football team if life had worked out that way!)

Hello all

It feels like ages since I've been here! I seldom have big hands free and once again am left-handed typing so please excuse any howlers (I'll blame autocorrect

Glad everyone is ok. Gin hurrah for the turning baby, hope she stays that way now for the duration. Buzz I can understand you wanting the baby out soon! The last few weeks are hard going physically and feel like limbo, you just want to meet them. In terms of induction I didn't have an epidural. I managed on gas & air and swearing, though I did have a bad time just before the pushing stage when I would have had one if the team had been available. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't as pushing was a profound experience I'm glad I got to have. My induction was because labour didn't progress after my waters broke but if I had got to 41 weeks I would have been offered one as age and IVF were considered risk factors.

Teu I'm sorry you've been struggling with PND. Hope things are getting easier now you have some support. I was on citalopram for a year or so after my dad died and it helped a lot - I think it's one of the gentler ADs and just seemed to take the edge off how I was feeling. Mini Teu is gorgeous - I'm envious that he's started chuckling, Mini Art isn't getting the hang of that yet and smiles are carefully rationed!

Ele I loved the photos. You look so happy and chilled and Hamish is a beauty!

Princess I love your hidden thread! now just have to find time to post! I keep meaning to ask if you ever got Mini P to take a bottle and if so, was there a trick to it? Mini A is still a refuser after 8 weeks of on-off trying and I don't know whether to persist or just not bother. It's not a massive big deal but we have a few xmas invitations and I'd like to be able to do little things like to go the gym without panicking that she's going to decide she's starving the second I'm out of the door.

I have to run - tea is ready and Mr A is trapped under a sleeping baby who has taken forever to get to sleep! Waves to Critter, Sar, any lurkers (Lemon?!) and any 10+ers who read

art so good to hear from you, and sorry baby art is still 'high maintenance'

I've no experience of giving bottles, but you can give bmilk in a cup (not sure if you've tried that, and I forget how old baby art is?) and if mini art is getting older and better at hand mouth coordination you might want to try that? Some babies will take milk from a cup (which is an entirely different experience for them) than from a bottle which they (I'd imagine) consider to be a 'poor mans boob' if you know what I mean.

You can get a doidy open cup (slanted so that they're less likely to spill and with small handles) for a couple of quid and I know some folk whose babies took to them really well. Or if you wait until 6 month-ish (depending on hand/mouth coordination) a normal free flow lidded sippy cup can work (used that with ours as he never got the hang of the doidy cup).

You've probably already tried that (or been told) so apologies if that comes accross as patronising tosh :-)

buzzy been thinking about your cloth nappy intentions when I was changing hamish the other day, and wanted to mention 'vest extenders' :-) Not sure if you've came accross them before, but they add a few inches of material onto normal baby vests to enable you to fit the cloth nappy under them without having to go up a size (and have them slipping down the babies shoulders).

They don't fit every manufacturers vests, but do fit tesco, asda, mothercare and next I think. You can have a look at them here to see what I mean (they come in a pack of three, but as they tend not to get soiled, you can use the same one all day or for a few days, so you don't really need any more than 3). I think I got mine from the nappy lady: www.thenappylady.co.uk/essential-accessories/vest-extenders.html

Hi ladies! It's nearly Thanksgiving here, work is starting to lull this week, and I feel like I'm finally coming up for air. I think there are four of us who are due in the next two months, which is super exciting!

eleth add me to the chorus of people who loved your photos. You are absolutely beautiful! Like a young Catherine Zeta Jones. And Hamish is gorgeous too

teu really glad to hear that you're being looked after so well, and sorry that the past few months have been so rough.

art sorry that mini art is giving you such an intense time. She is so ridiculously cute with that little quiff. A mini rocker! Do you three have nice plans this Christmas? I am a bit jealous of those whose babies will have arrived by then, it's such a magical time (and was an AWFUL time when we were ttc).

sar did I hear you're having a home birth? Am mega impressed and kind of regretting not going for one myself, that sounds wonderful. I hope you're enjoying your maternity leave, resting and nesting, and enjoying preparing for the baby's arrival.

mellow hope everything's better with your little man's eyesight. Thinking of you.

princess thanks for setting up the other thread, what a great idea. I hope you've had a break recently with your mum looking after you a bit more! Your house does sound gorgeous. Are you going back to work in the New Year, or do you have a little longer on mat leave?

gin I have been loving the sound of your cake odyssey on mat leave. Sounds perfect! My colleagues brought in maple cupcakes yesterday which was awesome.

buzzy hope you're feeling good - it's in the past couple of weeks that all this pregnancy stuff has started to feel real for me and I've started to get really excited about the baby arriving. How is your knitting coming on? Mine is progressing incredibly slowly.

Waves to everyone else- I hope mad and lemon join us - and the rest of the lovely 10 plussers. All well here, it's very cold and I'm preparing to do a massive Thanksgiving cooking sesh tonight. I have tomorrow and Friday off for the holiday, which will be awesome - I love three day weeks!

ele you are a wealth of knowledge they are out of stock but shall order them as soon as they come in it had not occurred to me at all

critter I think I actually might have cracked my problem well my very kind and caring GP has, I changed nausea medication a while back and she thinks the side affects to that has been making me feel so crap, I have stopped them and feel alot better, today is the first day that I haven't wanted to go back to bed 2 hours after I got up. I am supposed to be working on a birth sampler but my knitting gets in the way

art A mum on another thread suggested wearing something then putting it in the cot/basket where the baby sleeps so the baby still has your smell with them, not really sure if it would work

buzz what's a birth sampler?

it should be one of these when I finally finish it critter

www.historicalsamplercompany.co.uk/product.php?productid=16450&cat=30&page=1

buzzy that is so cute! Love it! And I bet that mini bee will cherish it.

buzzy that looks fantastic - what a wonderful idea for a keepsake (feeling slightly shamed that I never considered marking the occasion like that myself). And so glad that your 'feelings of crap' are starting to recede, here's hoping you can actually enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy.

critter I laughed out loud at your zeta jones comparison (especially the 'young' bit as she's only 3 years older than me) you've definitely got yourself on my xmas list

3 day weeks when you're working are fab (she says smugly from her maternity leave... :-) hope the thanksgiving dinner goes well.

I had a workmate round for lunch yesterday and she was telling me bits about work and I found myself thinking, I wonder if I could win the lottery before I need to go back in July... I'd love to be able to afford a career break, but sadly we need my money (and I can't complain I only work mornings so it's not like I'll be slaving round the clock when I go back) but I think being off since april has made me enjoy the non-paid work malarky a bit too much!

doll hope you and baby doll are keeping well.

waves to everyone else - looking forward to all those new year birth announcements :-)

Morning all :)

Teu I'm glad you're getting the support you need. This mum lark is really tough, I hope you've got loads of nice plans in the pipeline for your Xmas visit. I've been thinking about you lots and hoping you feel better soon xx

Art yes, we did have success with the bottle (she was very suspicious to start with). On the rare occasion we give her one, she's usually pretty hungry and grabs out for it, keeps a hand on it while sucking and then pushes away when she's done. She also pats it too, which is very cute. I think each baby to their own but we found the following helped: Dr Brown bottles (softer teat than the ones on the Avent pump bottle - likewise friends have had great success with NUK teats), warming the milk so that it's very warm (like a drop on the skin feels warm not cool), a hungry baby. She won't have it unless she's due a feed and at the very hungry point. She's even taken a bottle in front of me when "starving"! I had my hair done a couple of weeks ago (3.5 hours!!) and sent them with 2 3oz bottles. They only needed one but they got along fine. I think in the end it was really a case of perseverance so she became less suspicious and I'm not sure she would settle with a bottle at night, she will only settle in our bed, with me next to her. If I very dare to go to the bathroom, all I can hear is moaning and usually get back to tears! I think she thinks her food source may have gone forever!! The other thing and this may be total tosh is that I express in front of her whilst she's playing. She watches very, very carefully, so I don't know if she sees milk in the bottle and "knows" it's from me ?! Good luck anyway!

Buzzy so glad you're feeling much better. The sampler is incredibly cute, what a really lovely present / keepsake for baby buzz :) You look absolutely radiant and very glowing in your photo on the other place.

gin mmmmn, cake! Not long lady! I'm soooo excited for you :) I made a loaf of bread, rolls and breadsticks and oat and apple muffins yesterday from mini princess's river cottage food book. It felt good to get my bake on - it's been a long time! The baked good were enjoyed by all members of the princess clan. Breadsticks (more like pizza express dough sticks) can be added to mini princess's favourite list! She really loves her food!

Critter Happy Thanksgiving :) I'm going to try and make a steamed squash pudding this weekend. Are you making a pumpkin pie? Do you see Mr Critters family for Thanksgiving? You're also very close. New ten plus babies make me feel very misty eyed. I too am looking forward to Xmas this year. Santa started shopping earlier in the week

Sar I saw on the other thread that you're 37 weeks! Wow! Your bump is so neat and you look very amazing! I would have loved a home birth but it just wasn't possible with our house being a building site. Hope you're enjoying maternity leave xx

Doll hope you're feeling better too and the colic is improving.

Waves at Ele and the gorgeous little Hamish. I too can't believe where 5 months have gone and am jealous of all the new little bundles turning up soon whilst mine gets bigger, stronger, feistier... But the plus side is she's much more interactive, extremely funny and very, very cute.

MrsM, Frannie, Stacks, Ladyg and Heart I think about you all often and hope you are busy enjoying your lo's xxx

I feel like a huge cloud has departed this week. Since giving birth I've gone from elation, to feeling like Mother Earth, to feeling like Super Woman, then crashing, feeling rubbish, then low, and now back to myself (strange feeling after 4.5 years). I think the swirl of emotions and coming to grips with the TTC journey etc with a tiny baby and the acceptance that life has moved on and changed forever has been a wonderful and daunting thing. I have also worried so much about the future and going back to work and if not how I could come up with an amazing idea (winning the lottery a la Ele, setting up a new business etc etc) that I was feeling pressure from every angle. Anyway, the plan is that I probably won't go back to work immediately and will be a SAHM for a while. This will be a huge financial squeeze and our lives will be very different but we can manage (just), it will just be tight. Since making this decision, I feel lighter. Yesterday I slept late (so did mini princess), enjoyed baking, went for a walk and didn't have a 1002 things swirling round my head, played lots with mini princess and just enjoyed! Today I'm going to make eggy bread for breakfast when she wakes from her slumber and then we're off to the posh garden centre in the very posh village nearby to see reindeer and have free mince pies with some other mums and babies. Makes a change from another baby group and another round of "wind the bobbin up". Mini princess got squashed by a bigger baby last week and I had to rescue her (the mum was sat right next to us but didn't do anything, I was a bit but it's all new politics to me). Anyway, she wasn't too bothered and looked at the bigger baby with a sort of "I can't get you now but just you wait until I'm bigger and stronger. Mini princess doesn't forget..." look . That's my girl

Hello all

teu - oh sweetheart, what a shitty few months you have had. Like princess says mum malarkey is far from easy. Glad you have the right meds and hope you feel relaxed and confident and wonderful very soon because you certainly deserve to. Enjoy your christmas trip home and let people fuss over you and give you a rest.

eleth - damn, I missed the photos. You really are a wealth of knowledge, I can imagine I will be like you and get very use to the not earning lifestyle. Love the 'poor mans boob' comment.

buzz - so glad you finally feel better! you have had such a tough ride. Hope the induction and due date stuff get sorted. You looked stunning and healthy in your group photo on t'other place.

Art - sorry not been in touch yet re coffee - stay with me and I will suggest some dates. No good ideas im afraid to help with the bottle transition but reading and storing all the tips from others.

gin - oh wow, she turned! She's a clever girl. Any new niggles / signs? I have had a quiet couple of weeks which is dissapointing after the pre labor contractions I had at 34 /35 weeks. Any time now for you and me. I am taking a homeopathic version of a strong red rasberry leaf tea and trying to walk and bounce on the ball. I guess they will come when they want to.

critter - you are on the home straight too. Wishing you a lovely thanks giving weekend, just think this time next year you will have a little one chowing down on a bit of Turkey with you!!!

Mellow - thinking of you.

princess - mini p sounds like a very bright and curious young lady. Love how she checks out the expressing process. And the smiles, hands out and grabbibg etc do sound cute beyond words. She will be trying to say the odd consonants vowel word soon. I am delighted to hear your sahm decision. It's something I would consider if it were a financial possibility and think its fab. There is a small chance mr sar may become a sahd in a few small years which would be great. Thanks so much for setting up that other thread. Maybe you could have a homebirth next time??!!

yes homebirth is on the cards. I am actually waiting now for the midwife to come and assess me and my house for approval. Birth pool is on order and placenta lady is booked. Mr sar has the odd wobble but overall very supportive and when he thinks about how it will be if all goes to plan (touch wood) he is really excited. Like buzz I am ready to give birth. These last few days I am more awkward and waddley although nothing exciting to report. I try to palpate myself to work out where the head is., I have recently decided the head has gone from 5 to 4 to 3 fingers above the pelvis. But I am probably wrong. Hopefully the midwife will check it out.

Hugs to all mums, bumps and babes. The next set of 10+ are on their way. This means there is room for more on board very very soon from the other thread.

Princess - meant to say thank you for sharing your enotional journey above. Gives me insight in to what is to come. So glad you feel like your old self. Ttc is bound to impact on us all.

Morning all! I'm having a lazy day today, so will attempt a bit of a catch up.

teu so sorry you have been having a tough time recently, but it sounds like you have lots of support and are dealing with things well. I hope baby Teu is doing well and allowing you some sleep. You will get through this and things will get better lovely.

ele ha ha at being broody already! Hamish is super cute, so I can see why his pics would make you so. Oh yes to win the lottery and not have to work... I genuinely love my job (and have to return full time), but it's ace not having that Sunday night back to work feeling.

art lovely to hear from you. Good luck with the bottle and mini A.

critter hope you had an ace thanksgiving and are enjoying your long weekend. Just think, next thanksgiving mini critter will be here to celebrate with you. Hope you are doing ok and not too knackered by work. I think you have a while before you are finished up?

buzz I'm really pleased to hear you are feeling better. You look really well and glowy in the FB pics. I love the sampler! Mini bee is very lucky to have such a talented mummy.

princess I'm so pleased to hear that you feel back to your old self and about your plans. Sounds like you have definitely made the right decision re work I totally agree about how long term ttc impacts. It really has changed my outlook on some things and isn't something that just disappeared once I got pregnant, although things are a lot easier and events like birthdays and Xmas a lot less not at all stingy/reminders of time spent ttc. I hope you had a lovely time at the garden centre. Sounds just my cup of tea!

sar, my bump buddy! I too have no signs of the forthcoming big event and am bouncing on the ball, walking, drinking raspberry leaf tea! It's funny how now I'm over 37 weeks (38 tomorrow eek), it's gone from trying to keep ginster in, to wanting her out and safe! Hot curries, sexing and baths will all be started the week before D Day, as I'd rather avoid being induced at 41 weeks...Your home birth plans sound ace. I'm a hospital kind of girl, but would love to be in the MW led unit if I can.

I have no idea of ginster's position! I do worry that she's flipped again, as I can't feel a head in my pelvis, but couldn't do so when she was def head down! Hopefully the MW will be able to work out position next week. Other than worrying about that, I'm really enjoying mat leave. I've started batch cooking for the freezer and am slowly doing things like clearing out cupboards, NESTING argh! Have also done a lot of online Xmas shopping and as those of you on FB have seen, been on a bit of a cake fest . One of my guilty pleasures has been popping into Starbucks when out and about. It's such a shame we're all so dispersed over the country, as it'd be great to meet up for coffee (and cake of course!)

Can I ask, those of you who were induced, did you have your waters broken? For some reason this is the bit of the process I'm most worried about... Did they give you pain killers beforehand? I've decided I def want an epidural if they're inducing me, but don't think they'd give it to me until they put in the drip.

gin so exciting to be at the end of the pregnancy process - I totally know what you mean about just wanting them out safe (where you can keep a proper eye on them!)

I had my waters broken in both my inductions by the same consultant aswell (which was odd but nicely reassuring in a way). He was very good, didn't feel much discomfort at all, in fact I found the normal cervical exams to be much more discomforting than him breaking my waters (the midwife was going to do it, but had trouble reaching (and it was sore when she was trying to get there!) so she called him in and it was done quickly, painlessly, no bother.

You don't get pain relief for it (at least I wasn't offered, but I suppose you could ask). You don't actually feel the waters being broken, all you feel is their hand moving, it feels just like a normal internal exam and as with all internal exams the level of discomfort totally depends on the person doing it.

Epidural is totally a personal choice, but given how little pain I found in hamish's labour compared to my first son's, you might want them to start the drip and see how you feel. Mind you, the idea of an epidural was horrendous to me, so I'd do anything to avoid it - you're much braver than me to be considering it already (very impressed!)

Before they started the drip with my first labour they talked to me about pain relief with a view to putting in an epidural straight away, so you should definitely get one at the same time the drip starts.

princess such good news that you get to be a SAHM for a while (and so glad that decision has calmed your mind and let you enjoy things a bit more just now) and your baby life sounds amazing (meeting other mums for cake and seeing reindeers - fabulous!) I'm always jealous when I hear of other mums making big social circles when they have babies, never really happened to me this time or last time, in fact if I hadn't had made friends with my NCT group (which was very small) I wouldn't have had any new mums to socialise with. This time round I actually feel less inclined to do groups to meet folk and am generally happy just hanging with Hamish (I wonder if he's missing out by not doing all the classes/groups I did with my first?)

sar home birth sounds fantastic, I would have loved one but for me falling between 2 health boards (and the complications that caused) and of course first time round I didn't have a choice and second time I ran chicken :-) I think it'd be great though, being in your own space, no other babies crying in the postnatal ward and your OH being there all the time and not having to go home - fingers crossed it all works out.

Also very impressed with you doing your own palpations, I had no idea at all (I'm rubbish like that :-)

just to say gin I wasn't induced but got my waters broken once fully dilated, I felt nothing at all.

Gin - good to hear that breaking waters isnt the torture that you feared. They handed round a water breaking 'knitting needle' at our ante natal class and it was surprisingly slim and unsharp. Im sure little gin is still head down. If you press firmly either side and just above your pubic bone you should be able to feel the head.

I have very suddenly gone from being mobile to awkward, waddly and with pain running through my hips when I walk. My joints have loosened up all of a sudden and any form of comfort is out of the window. Midwife says I am 1/5 engaged (so not loads) but I can feel some pressure now. Also getting slight cold type symptoms and flushed face. Is it wishfull thinking that labor might come soon? Did anyone else feell this way? I am just past 37 weeks.

sar it's possible labour is around the corner but it might also be good to try to have a longer term view in case it's not. My doctor gave my positive indications of labour before my due date at 36+4 and he didn't actually arrive until 41+1. I feel the expectation made the wait longer. There are all kinds of stats out there and it seems that the idea that first babies come later may be somewhat over played; I found the idea that around half of babies come before the due date and half after a useful idea.

Hello all and sorry for more radio silence! We've had a busy few weeks with me talking at a conference and going on holiday (fabulous and I wish we could both be on parental leave, it is so much more fun with two!)
teu sorry to hear you are having a tough time - I have to say I look back at the first 12 weeks when I cried every day without fail and am sure I had some PND but because of the difficulties TTC didn't really want to acknowledge it. It is only now that I feel more like myself that I recognise how unlike myself I was feeling if that makes any sense?
gin great news about baby turning. I think the thought that 50% of babies come before due date and 50% after is really useful. I didn't have any pain relief in labour (no time!) but have heard of friends who had epidural with induction and highly recommended it
sar I didn't go into labour on my own so don't know, but felt completely normal right up to induction at 40 weeks! Who knows what would have happened if left to my own devices!
princess I am envious of your decision to be a SAHM. Although I have 3 more months of mat leave, I am dreading going back to work in one way. Baby M is just so gorgeous at the moment and fun and I know the next few months are only going to get better. The first 12 weeks or 4th Trimester really is tough and it seems a shame that I'll go back and leave him just as he's at his best!
Ele mines only 4 months but I'm so broody! We are going to start trying again around Easter when he is 9 months - I reckon an 18mth gap is the minimum I'm prepared for and am well aware it may take much longer!

So exciting that there are a few births to look forward to in the next wee while

For us, baby M is starting to see - he is like a different baby and so aware of things - still not looking at us and smiling and only fixes and follows intermittantly, but I am confident that it will come. And his sleep has settled, we have an evening and only one night wakening which is AMAZING!! I am a new woman!

Really looking forward to Christmas - it has been quite a year and I'm really excited to see what 2014 will bring!

I meant to say we have a bottle refuser.. I'm going to start trying in earnest over the next few weeks but he is quite adamant that he doesn't like them! Any tips very welcome...

mellow that is such good news that baby mellow is starting to see, much be such a relief (for you and him - seeing things now after having a dark world filled with noises). An evening and one night wakening is fantastic! Hamish has been very good with sleep in the past (that's sort of changed) but now is up 2-3 times between 7pm and 10pm and on a good night is up once between 10pm and 7am (on a bad night he's up 3 times in the night, but that is still much better than my oldest son, so I'm not complaining).

He's taking a long time to accept a 7pm bedtime (left to his own devices he'd prefer to be up in the early evening and go to bed about 10pm - bit like myself :-D He's also given up on his long naps and we get about 2 x 40 minute naps in the day, but that's fine, and his long naps were great when they lasted!

sar so glad I never saw a breaking water 'knitting needle' beforehand
think I'd have been far less relaxed during the process if I had (I'm a wimp - I actually fainted when they were putting in a canula as it went in wrong and caused a bit of bleeding - they had to press the emergency button and everything...)

We started Hamish on solids at the weekends and it's going really well, he's not tried anything he's not liked yet. Never sure how much is going in, but we did find kiwi seeds in his poohs for two days, so that obviously made the journey :-D

Hope everyone is doing well (not long now until your off buzzy :-)

mellow amazing news, thanks for updating. Hope you get some joy with the bottle soon. No tips from the Doll camp I'm afraid, mine don't care where their food comes from. Does seem to be a common issue though.