Fat and fertile-were not 2nd class citizens. A support thread

[fishandlilacs]

I want to start a support thread for pregnant women with a high BMI. My BMI is currently 38. Last pregnancy it was 36, in between times my BMI went up to 41 but then I started a weight loss programme and lost over 2 stone-I was heading for more when I found myself here, pregnant, happy about it and feeling quite well thank you.

It wasn't my intention to be this fat and pregnant but cest la vie. This thread is not about arguing about it and I have no wish to hear from anyone who feels they may flame for being in this position.

My consultant has made me feel like a 2nd class citizen, I was told I was "bound to develop gestattional diabetes" last pregnancy and I didn't. This time the same old story.

If youre in the same position and want to chat about it or rant and rave then please join here.

Hey Fish, CONGRATULATIONS!!

I wish there'd been a thread like this when I was pregnant last year! I also have a high BMI (39) and I was on my 3rd pregnancy - high BMI with each although it got progressively higher with each pregnancy . I was told each time that I would get GD but didn't. I did get SPD and high blood pressure with 2nd and 3rd tho - resulting in flipping consulatant appointments left right and centre (twice weekly!)

Enjoy your pregnancy :) My lo is 1 this Saturday

xx

Same as that! My littles ones are nearly 1 and 2 and you're treated differently if you're bigger

I had a lovely midwife though who was a big lady herself and apologized to me before asking if I felt a needed a referral to a dietician due to my weight
sigh

Never once had gestational diabetes though!

A very warm welcome to you both. I dont know why I started this really, I just felt like suddenly everything was to do with my weight despite the fact that i know plenty of skinny/normal/no so overweight Mums who have had complications such as a large baby or GD.

I know the facts, I know that there can be complications, bringing dd into this world was complex and difficult. She was a big baby, 9lb 10 but there hasn't been a baby born into our family for generations that was under 8lb. It could have happened anyway.

bump

hi there ladies!

I'm pregnant with DC2 and have a BMI of 41. I was only 1/2 stone lighter with DS1 but much less fit at the time.

I don't think I was treated any differently last time except that I had to have the GTT. Noone mentioned consultancy led care or anything and I was treated 'normal'. Although they wouldn't let me have a water birth even though I didn't have the choice in the end anyway.
I developed Polyhydromosis (excuse spelling...) which can be associated with GD, at 10 days before EDD which meant I was induced. I had a normal birth with a little help from ventuse although DS was pretty nhappy and there were a few occassions when I think they were almost off to send me to theatre.

So this time around I am healthier (as a result of giving up the office job and moving to the countryside) but a tiny bit bigger. In my notes it says that I should have consultancy led care, but my midwife seems to have ignored it. I'm going to mention it to her when I have my scan on the 12th.

I am sorry about your experience fishandlilacs, it hasn't been mine at all.... it just doesn't get mentioned here........ not sure if that's a good thing or not. Or perhaps it is the consultancy led care that is the issue.

If I were you I would rise above it because there is nothing you can do now anyway is there?

Hi All,

I'm not sure what my BMI is, and can't be bothered to go and look at my notes (which may well be an indicator of how I got this big in the first place ), but I do remember being bemused that the letter for my September GTT appointment came through before I managed to get myself booked for a dating scan. Oh well!

I'm only 15 weeks, and it's my first so I have nothing to compare it to, but think I've been treated fairly well so far.

I have a question though. As a lady with a belly anyway, which used to be sucked in with control pants etc, I already feel like I'm letting it all hang out, and probably look more pregnant than I am. I feel like I am at my biggest ABOVE my waist - is this normal? I kind of expected to feel it more below my belly button, not above?

that's me too kitty. You get bloated anyway, but i think much of it is because the space that your baby is taking up pushes everything else (stomach, bowls etc) further up and out of the way. Partly why you get heartburn isn't it?

On my third, bmi at infinity and lots of gripes about the ridiculous system. Neither of my previous pregnancies have had any complications, and neither birth necessitated any intervention. No diabetes either. I hack them off I think.

I have been told I will not get the birth I want this time round, and that I will have to deliver where I am told to. Oh really? Looking forward to that one when I meet the consultant I have had forced on me:o

I have another scan on thursday because they couldn't get very good pictures last time. Probably because of my fat belly! :)

My scan was ok, the pic I got was a bit meh, but the ones for my file were clear enough.

Have got my consultant appointment through, and the appointment for the gestational diabetes test date. Phooey to it all.

My last two pregnancies I have been overweight, not exactly sure of bmi's but around the 13st mark, being 5ft 3. This pregnancy was discussed beforehand but not decided upon and now I pregnant at 15st so theres not much I can do about it now. I went for the first inital midwives appt where I was told my bmi was 36. I have had my booking appt today. At both appts nearly every sentence has began 'because your overweight'....and I've had enough already. I've had no problems whatsoever with my other 2 pregnancies but all of a sudden I'm a real risk for defiancies, diabeties and DVT.

According to the midwife there is some new guidelines called NICE. Which basically assumes that fat people do not have enough vitamins so I will be required to have extra VIT D tablets. I will need a daily injection in my stomach for DVT from 12 weeks pregnant right up till 6 weeks after the birth as they think I just veg on the sofa all day (I infact work 6 days a week and don't sit down till 9pm every night). Then I will need to go to hospital and to be tested for my intolerance to sugar (so basically will be fed sugar like a rat and see how I react!). I just want to be left alone and to be honest this all makes me want to crash diet to try and lost the 1 1/2 stones I need to get my bmi to 34 to get them off my back.

I can't believe this! How can that be right? I have bmi 41 and no different treatment! This all seems wrong!

maybe its just been enforced in my area. Have a looked for the NICE guidelines see what they say. Its the same injection you receive every night in hospital if you've had a c-sections. Theres no way I'm doing that everyday for the next 8 months. Especially as its just deigned for people who are inactive. I hardly stop all day working full time with 2 small children. I'm definately not lazy- I just like my food :)

I have just had a look and it mentions the vit d and tests for diabetes for overweight people. But no mention of the dvt that I can see.
www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/11947/40115/40115.pdf

Hi all, I'm new to MN and 7+0 with my first child. My BMI is 39 at the mo but I'm losing 1.5lb a week due to not fancying food at all at the mo. Which isn't like me - I admit that I LOVE food and cooking and hate exercising but I've always had perfect blood pressure, etc, so never felt the need to diet.

I am worried about getting 'lectured' by professionals - every time I've visited a GP, it doesn't matter what for, my weight has been mentioned sigh. But I guess I'll deal with it if/when it happens!

well thats like me DonnaM82- perfect blood pressure etc. No problems with either pregnancy. Think I'm going to follow my own judgement and just make sure I watch what I eat and keep active.

Hi
I also have a high BMI probably 41 to on my 5th pregnancy. Will have to see a consultant like last time but after tests last time for diabetes I told them to stop scaring me and had a home birth. As for injections you only need them if you have problems. I had a scare last time when they thought I had a pulmanary embolism ( blood clot in the lung) after having a ct scan it was proved that it wasn't that and they stopped the injections and said I wouldn't need any more and it wouldn't effect any further pregnancy's.

sarahken Please make sure what they mean as it sounds wrong. I am refusing the glucose tolerance test this time. I have had 4 healthy babies and fully aware of the signs of diabetes and pre-eclampsia. I will insist on the sort of birth I want not what they want. Also not taking vit d tablets either as I think my diet is very broad. Decide what you want and get you your dp on board with it. I told them that I wasn't coming in to hospital for the birth as I didn't believe I would make it. Had baby no. 4 in 1 1/2 hours no pain relief as there was no time for any. Crash dieting wouldn't be good for either of you sensible balanced eating at this point, don't let them get to you.

DonnaM82- I also get the fat lecture every time I go to the doctors.

Hi guys!
Just had my scan and all is as it should be

I checked and I don't need consultancy led care. BMI 41 and they said that's only relevant for anesthetic and as i had no problems last time they don't think it is an issue. Everything else has come back great and I'm in good shape . Can't get the grin off my face

Hello to everyone who is new, I am so glad that folks are finding a place to share and rant, it's amazing how different everyone's treatment has been. I am yet to see my consultant but not bothered.

I am following slimming world - ish. Not to lose weight, but to make sure I don't gain too much weight during pregnancy.

I'm not limiting dairy (I don't like full fat yogurt or milk anyway) but if I get peckish (which is rare at the moment), I'm eating something from the "free foods" and also eating a wide range of pulses, etc. My GP is happy with this because it is a varied, balanced diet and I'm not going to be eating rubbish.... (much).

Ginger biscuits and calippo ice lollies ARE healthy, right? They're the only things I can keep down with any great deal of success!

It's a little insulting that they assume overweight people don't eat a balanced diet. I've been a guinea pig for various tests when I worked at a University research lab and I know there's nothing wrong with my diet or the vitamins I get. The only problem I have is absorbing enough iron (I had to stop being a veggie because I just couldn't get enough from plants and still struggle when I eat meat).

I have my booking in appointment on the 26th July. BMI will be checked so I'm preparing myself to face the lecture again. As it's my first pregnancy I don't want to do ANYTHING wrong but at the same time, I'm only going to be insulted/lectured so much

If any of you ladies would like a little lift, my bmi is 47;)

As you were

donna honestly, i haven't been lectured or anything abut my weight.....i think it depends on where you are as always....

I asked quite a few questions about the injections and she insisted I definately needed them as its policy if your bmi is over 35 regardless of whether you have had any problems in the past or not. I had those injections following both c-sections, but everyone does regardless of weight as your less active. She said when I go to the hospital for my consultant appt and scan they will send me to some other dept when I will receive the injections to take home and me and my dh will be shown how to inject me before I can go. When I was asking the questions and I said I didnt want them she just looked and me in a face that just said 'oh well it is your fault' . She even recommended I start slimming world. I want my old midwife back who was twice the size of me and didn't give a toss

Plus when I asked about a vaginal birth after 2 c-sections I was point blankly told no as its not allowed. I know this prob isnt a weight issue but it was just one more thing. I tried to challenge her as I know other people have and I have no medical reason not to be able to labour naturally. She said its my hospital's policy and they will not allow me to try, she wouldnt even discuss it. Felt like all she did was wind me up at my booking in. Think I'm going to change to appts on a tues so I get the other midwife as I can't be bothered been on a downer after every appt.

Sara, change hospital if you can. Your midwife is being vile.