We're now halfway and it's PMA all the way - Nov 2011

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Halfway there now ladies. on the countdown.

Hiya, Blue, am pleased to hear that you had what appears a good appointment and that as Ali says, you may have some answers that would put your mind at rest. Ill be keeping my fingers crossed for you and yours that there is happy bfp news to be shared soon!

I wanted to ask a question about cots if possible! I do not remember the gazillion and one mattress choices being available when I had the other two and now in my pregnancy addled state i cannot work out what I need to buy! Do I need a sprung one? A foam one? Arrgghh please help me! :)

I scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom, chucked loadsa stuff out and rearranged all the icons on my desktop today.... funny rest/holiday this is? lol

Sorry! Hi Stripey :)

blue i'm so pleased you were able to get some answers.

katie i've been watching that, it's so bizarre they're straight in on their back strapped to a monitor so the mw's can sit outside and watch monitors until it's time or the lady wants a cs. then they all seem to be aproned up sitting between legs. So so different to both my labour and the ones i sat in on whilst a on a mw placement (cough10 cough years ago) none of them were in a birth pool, none of them seemed to do anything but lie on their back which is supposed to make labour longer and harder. the only thing i liked were the stirrups as i had to hold my legs up at the end with ds and it got uncomfortable.

hils hi glad to see you doing well.

stripy welcome and congratulations.

pam did they honestly tell you that?? who is it who's saying that sorry if you've already said. I'm a v large lady (22) and was perfectly fine with ds at the mlu my consultant says he'll support me doing the same this time if everything is going ok, although i haven't yet had my anethetist (sorry bad sp.) appt yet or my gtt.

Hello Blue glad you have been given some answers to the difficult questions about Sterre, your little girl. Hope for you to have a BFP as soon as you all feel ready.

Welcome stripey

snoozle with my DS there was a page of questions that you could answer if you wanted regarding birth preferences (like birth partner, cutting cord etc) as well as a space where you could write free text; my MW went through this with me about 36 weeks. My notes for this baby has space for a little bit but not as detailed as with DS and no space for free text; it does state that the MW should go through that page at 36 weeks.

My preference is to have a relaxed homebirth; I would love for DP & DS to be present and I know DP wouldn't want to cut the cord (only just got him to agree to be present) but I think DS may wish to. I trust the MWs here to know if there is any concerns and will listen to them if they give me a valid reason to be transferred to hospital - again I know that the length of time to get to hospital from home should I need to be transferred is less than it would take for the delivery staff to prep. I wouldn't put myself at risk, nor my baby, but I know I'd feel more confident and relaxed at home. I am fully aware that things may not pan out my ideal way but knowing what I am aiming for also allows me to know and consider the alternative options.

As I said in a post earlier today I am really struggling at making simple decisions at present but my birth preferences have been shaped from DS's birth and whilst I am able to confidently write how I feel I will as I am aware that once in labour I will probably not be able to decide on anything.

voodoo we've got a simple foam mattress; baby weighs very little to need the spring technology and I feel they will be comfortable on whatever they are used to.

Hello Blue I'm glad you had some answers and please do let us know when you are BFP again. I hope you're doing as OK as you can right now. xxx

Welcome Stripey,

Glad to hear that you have had some sort of resolution Blue, hope you are back soon with good news for us!!

I haven't really thought about the birth much, I have always thought that I wouldn't have a home birth, or water birth, I guess I will feel more comfortable being in a more medical environment, so I have chosen to be in the hospital based midwife unit so that the labour unit is downstairs if need be, although it appears that there is a strong chance that I'm actually going to give birth on the labour ward rather than the midwife unit, although not been told for sure, so I guess I will find out about that all at some point.

As far as the cot mattress I think that it should be firmer for a baby than for a toddler?!?

Hi blue lovely to hear from you and to know you are still 'around'. I think kids can sometimes sense things we can't- maybe your DD just knew. Great that you had a good consultant appointment and feel something of a bit of resolution. I suppose some wee babies are just not meant to be physically. Looking forward to hearing about how you are gettng on over the next few months.

now cot mattresses friends with kids told me to get spring not foam but to be honest I can't for the life of me remember why

Welcome stripey, congrats!

Hi Tink so glad to hear you found out Sterre was a little girl. I know I'd have wondered and wondered and wondered about boy/girl and would have needed to know. Isn't that strange about DD, I always asked DS and he's always been adamant, right from the get go that he's having a baby sissie. How do they know? You must be relieved that it was a cause like triploidy, I did genetics at uni and that sort of thing is bolt from the blue lightening strike odds. There's nothing you could have done to alter it. Unfortunately sometimes it just happens. How are you doing these days? We all miss you on here.
MrsArch those c-section birth plan ideas are bloomin brilliant. I'm going to steal them so even if I do end up under the knife again I feel like I have a bit of control this time. I'd never heard you could do delayed cord clamping with a cs (although I probably will be advised against it because of my PPH) but I would love that. And I want my baby now, now, now, this time - it was so awful lying there flat out unable to see him.

I have been thinking a lot about this whole birth plan business, and the fact that a lot of ladies on here are keen for a homebirth, minimum intervention etc. I want to choose my words very carefully, as I really don't want to offend anyone, or sound as if I am criticising your birth choice. I am definitely not criticising anyone else's choice, I am just trying to explain why my experience has left me feeling the way I do - and I realise that I am very much in the minority here, and on mumsnet in general!

In my case, my feelings really go back to the fact that with my first pg, I was in and out of hospital several times (in-patient on the antenatal ward) throughout, and then had a traumatic labour at the end. The thing is, in that time, every doctor I met was compassionate, took time to explain things to me, offer me treatment options if possible, and most of all they were keen to relieve my suffering (I was in agony). But the midwives.....well, whilst there were a couple of exceptionally supportive ones, the overall feeling was of box ticking, having no time for patients, contradicting each other, and acting as if the patients and their babies were a bit of a nuisance, getting in the way of their paperwork. For all that their role is meant to be to support women in pregnancy and labour, they generally seemed to be a bit lacking in compassion. So, I suppose what I'm saying is that I am terrified of being left in the hands of midwives for my labour; based on my last experience I found the doctors to be infinitely more supportive, which I realise goes against the grain of how most people feel about birth.

Snoozle I don't feel criticised at all. I actually have had a similar experience - when I had to transfer after the birth of my third, the midwives seemed to be trying to find every which way to blame me rather than their protocol injection while the doctors and auxiliary staff were awesome and saved my sanity. I've found over all doctors more understanding and more able to think outside of the box where as hospital midwives seems to be stuck to a tickbox where I am.

However, it is community midwives who do homebirths in most areas, not hospital midwives, and I've found them to be two different kettle of fish (and they leave an hour or so after the birth, and the peace of knowing no one is going to bug me for a while is awesome unlike in hospital where it felt like everything I did needed to be commented on and everyone kept leaving my curtain open).

You need to do what is best for you, just because we choose differently doesn't mean we're criticising each other.

Stripey welcome!
I seem to sometimes "forget" I am pregnant and then out of the blue I will think "Oh my gosh, there is a baby in there and it is over half cooked!!" It seems as if it hasn't fully sank in yet. I hope this is normal

Caz I am so pleased that Xander is doing well and growing well.

I discussed with my DH yesterday that I didn't care either really how the baby came, as long as I could take him home with me.
This is following a very scary three days of reduced movement and then no movement, which I had checked out yesterday and baby is well. Thank God!

Blue I am so glad you had a good appointment and some answers. Fingers crossed for your BFP as soon as you are ready

Blue I'm glad you got some answers. I'm sure it's a great comfort!
Stripey Welcome! and Chip Welcome back!

I'm wanting a hospital birth. Having hd a massive pph with my first when I needed 6 units of blood, I don't feel safe anywhere but in a hospital. My experience has been such that I generally rate midwives much higher than obstetricians in hospital. It was an incompetent doctor pulling sharply on the cord like it was dog refusing to heel that caused it to snap and my massive bleed. My best birth was number 3. I'd warned the midwife that my placentas just don't want to come away, and that she'd be unlikely to manage it without a manual removal, and she said "Ha! Never beaten by one yet!" She then did have some trouble and said " Well, it is a really tricky one, but I still think I can do it." And did. Wish I had her again this time. Last time I got through labour without needing pain relief, despite DS2 facing the wrong way round, but then had to have an epidural for a manual removal of placenta. Sigh. With a trainee doctor trying hard to put the needle in, but getting wrong twice with all the risk of a dural tap and the blinding headaches that causes. I'm very composed during labour, and try to relax into the pain rather than fight it, but I was very rude and gobby at that point! I said " Can the person trying to get the needle in step back now, and the person giving the instructions step forward and actually do it." I'd already had a midwife who didn't know how to support a woman giving birth on all fours (she tried to persuade me to lie on my back, to suit her!), so I felt I'd already done my bit that day to further training of staff!

I also hate the idea of a birthing pool. I can't shake the vision of it being filled with my blood - I'm very squeamish to the point of phobia when it comes to blood. And in any case, as someone who spends labour on all fours, I can't help but feel very little of me would be in the pool, and my arse would be cold!

I think it's true that our past experiences and fears have a huge impact on what we want from our birth experience. I don't feel at all that other women should choose as I do, that my way is the right way - it's only right for me! I shall be on my way to hospital the second I'm in labour, as I get anxious at home, and my labours are fast. As soon as I arrive they open up a vein and attach me to a drip to save time if I need blood again. It doesn't stop me from moving around as I need to. I hate being examined in case I have a contraction whilst lying on my back, cos it really hurts in that position! I find it perfectly bearable if I can rock with my bum in the air!

Welcome Stripey

Blue glad you've got some answers, I'm sure they will help you heal.

I must admit as a first timer I'm finding it really interesting listening in to the debate about birth plans and hopes, and it's helping me to crystalise my own views. So thanks everybody! :)

I for one am in the "get me to hospital" camp, although I must admit some parts freak me out. I can't imagine wanting to see any part of my own CS, for example, and the idea of possibly having to have a catheter may well put me off an epidural.

I'd like to get by with as little pain relief as I can, but that's basically me saying I'd quite like there to be not much pain thank you very much! I'll take whatever pain relief I need. Healthy happy baby is about the only thing that really matters to me, and the rest is negotiable for me.

Anybody else suffering in the heat? Both me and bump seem to be slowing down this week.

Hi Stripey! I can't say I've had the great big whack around the head telling me I'm going to have a bay yet, but I do have random moments where I suddenly remember that there is a baby at the end of all this! Those moments stop me in my tracks sometimes.

Blue so happy that you have some answers, and that you know now all about your baby girl.

I have nothing to add to the 'birth plan' debate as I have no clue what so ever of the options beyond home or hospital! I think they cover this in our antenatal class (singular - that's right we only get one here!)

Stuggling at work today as sat in a meeting room with a not very proper chair! Need an office chair, but I'm at a clients so can't very well ask for one! Just real uncomfortable and difficult to stay sat up straight! Good news, is that my dream genii got delivered (last night when we were out, and is now at my neighbours waiting for me to go round and get it!) so can't wait to go to bed tonight!

Hoping to make it home intome for my yoga class tonight, but have to sneak out of work uber-early to try to avoid the chaos on the M4! Wish me luck!

Blue so glad you were able to find out about Sterre. It won't take away the grief but at least you have the answers as to what went wrong and it must be nice to know that you have every chance of a healthy baby the next time.
Funny how your dd "knew" that Sterre was a girl. I remember ds1 somehow knowing that I was pg with ds2, even though he hadn't been told. Small children can have great instincts.

just a quick pop in to say glad everyone is doing well.

i laboured in pool but didn't give birth was nice and i was sat on my knees a lot of the time leaning forward so not quite on all fours but not far off.

my birth plan will basically be the same as last time, i'd like to go in pool if possible, i'd like just gas and air if i can but if i need to will take anything else.
dh can cut cord if he's there, and i want skin to skin straight away. Oh and all the help i can get with breast feeding.

Wooo just won a Baby Jogger city mini with raincover for £110 on eBay!!! Just got to pick it up from Glasgow. I hope I wasn't bidding against anyone on here, though.
Buffyfan don't stress about an epidural if you need one. They do the catheter after the injection so you won't feel it. I had one after my c/s and I swear it was a day and a bit before I even noticed I was catheterised... in my defence it had been a tough couple of days.
Had a very weird psychic message from one of the mums at playgroup today about my upcoming birth. From my dead grandad! V odd but quite compelling, especially as she's so shy and quiet and came up to me deliberately to tell me.

Ooh Poppet was just thinking that's a good price for your baby jogger. I won a baby jogger double yesterday. Am v excited about collecting it on Saturday. Is only 4 months old :-)

Blue - thanks for keeping us up to date. Glad you have answers and you have been able to find out the sex.

Watched Australia today, quite enjoyed it. Hugh Jackman is so hot!!

Oooh it's like the baby jogger mini thread now...nice one Poppet and MooseyMoo I'm waiting to see a bassinet in the flesh before buying one. Woman in one of the shops said to me it's the buggy that people often buy when they have their second child, but were too nervous to buy the first time when it is their PFB. I kinda see what she's saying because it's not the traditional travel system- although you can make it so. I'm taken with it now- after being all round the pram houses.

Anyone looking for footmuffs and baby nests etc I found this link on another baby forum footmuffs etc They also do made to measure custom covers and hoods for bugaboos etc. Worth a wee nosy maybe. Love the retro fabrics.

I've bought a couple of Buggy Snuggles at half price. They look so comfy ... I want one! Hopefully arriving in the next couple of days. I bought them from here if anyone is interested. They also have free uk delivery. Some of the prices are cheaper than the Buggy Snuggle sale.

Just been looking at 2010 stats for Baby names. Interesting and scary. Link opens in Excel.

Poppet Yay for the City Mini. That is a stunningly good price!

Thanks for the tips Folic and Moosey. I will have a look for our Europe trip in February/March.

Nothing much new here, apart from that I had a really restful night for some reason beyond my understanding. The only difference I can think of is the fact I had no vivid dreams that I can remember. Just dreamt of our LO having been born and cuddling him for the first time.

Hope you all have a good Friday :)

Morning all,

glad you had a good night PoopysMom, makes all the difference not to get up in the morning still being tired!!

I am just chuffed that it's another Friday, after today only 12 left to go. Have already sorted out who in my office is taking over my work load when I am on maternity leave, so hopefully things should get better as my finishing date gets closer, that's the plan anyway!!

Has anyone else have carpal tunnel starting, it's been bugging me all week, get woken up with the pain in my hand during the night, although been drinking a lot more during the day and that seems to be helping, but wondering if there is anyone else to commiserate with?

Good to hear about all the buggys, we are buying one off a friend of ours, so haven't really looked into the whole choice much, at the moment am just wondering about what cot bed we should buy, there does seem to be so much choice, I think we will just go to John Lewis in Edinburgh and buy one there and then, at least that will be the other major choice done and really are they all that different to each other?

It's moving day today wish me luck!!! :) Did all my packing yesterday and woke up feeling really stiff around my pelvis today gonna be a mess by tomorrow haha

Don't worry not planning on carrying anything today my job is driving the hire van and making the tea.

Aarrgggh. Glucose Tolerance Test today.
I've not eaten or drunk (why can't you even have water?) since last night, and I'm like a zombie this morning. I'm absolutely starving, and DP is being mean and eating porridge that smells divine.
They better let me have a nap between the blood tests, or I'll have a small hissy - I'm not very good at being starved (which is probably why I'm getting the fat girl treatment in the first place...)

H007 Yay for moving! Take it easy and enjoy that "First night in a new house" feel!