Right, Freya is sleeping and I have just eaten a massive bar of chocolate so here goes with the birth story... it is long, I warn you, but I wanted to write it all before I forget bits.
As you know I was contracting somewhere between every 5-20 mins from early on Friday, and Sunday eve we went into the local standalone MW unit for a check up and found I was 2-3cm so just on the verge of going into established labour. They gave us a quick tour of the maternity unit before we left and it was really lovely.
Went home and contractions got stronger and closer together. We didn't even try and sleep, fat chance! I was on my ball for a bit and listened to my natal hypnotherapy CD which really helped calm me down as I'd started getting a bit panicky with some of the strong contractions. As they got stronger I had repeated bouts of stinky pooing and felt really quite sick so we moved into the bathroom.
Sitting the wrong way round on the toilet and leaning on the cistern whilst someone massages your lower back really HARD is actually a really good way to get through contractions!
Lots of loud breathing and deliberate loooong outbreaths to try and stay in control.
At about 2am I'd got to the magic 3 contractions in 10 mins and we had to decide which hospital to phone... the actual city hospital where I was booked for the birth unit, or the standalone MW unit we'd been to earlier. So after all my fretting over the previous weeks about where to go, I changed my mind at the last minute 
. I was starting to struggle to cope with the contractions and to be panicky about still being at home, so we went to the little MW unit at 4.30am, I was examined and was 5cm. I started coping a lot better again now I felt looked after and had a MW with me.
DH was an absolute star of a birth partner. Lots of encouragement and reassurance and firm massage. I'd explained to him earlier that the point of the massage was not to be soothing, it was to provide a sensation that competed with the contraction pain and distracted my brain from it. He got the idea and must have had sore fists by the end!
By 8.30am breathing, massage and positions were just not cutting it and I was starting to lose control, so asked for the gas and air and to get into the pool. They examined me and said I was 7-8cm.
Once in the pool and on the gas and air my perception of time went totally out of the window. The pool and the gas and air made it much easier to cope again for a couple of hours, but then it all just started to get too much. I was knackered and getting quite upset that it wasn?t all over. I seemed to only be dilating 1cm every 2hrs and a MW we?d seen earlier in the night reckoned you could practically set your watch by women doing 1cm per hour 
.
I did say to DH at one point in a burst of frustration ?Well at least we didn?t pay for one of those hypnobirthing courses. Lying bastards, it does bloody hurt!? The MW said ?Well actually, you pretty much are hypnobirthing, you?re so relaxed and in control, listening to your body and letting it do what it needs to do. You?d have wasted your money!? I took some comfort in this. When I read my birth notes afterwards there were numerous references to how calm I was which amused me as in my brain I was busy fantasising about death and caesareans, whimpering quietly after the strongest contractions
Eventually we got to 1pm and I was due my next VE. After 4 hours in the pool they were concerned that I was still stuck in the first stage. I also had a really full bladder and couldn?t seem to empty it. MW got out the catheter kit and the ARM kit. That did the trick. I was supported out of the pool and onto the loo and (thank God) managed to do a huge wee, which meant Freya?s head could actually descend.
On examination I was fully dilated. They started explaining to me that they could do ARM now. Mid discussion, my waters went anyway. There was some meconium in them so I was advised to give birth on land.
I was told to just go with my body now, and push when the urge came. I was on my knees leaning on the back of the bed. Urge to push??! Huh. Never came. I was just so sick of the whole thing I wanted it finished. I was barely registering the contractions now as I was so tired, so just kind of got on and pushed as and when and made an absolute racket bellowing and mooing about it!
They kept struggling to find Freya?s heartbeat because of my position, and when they did they registered a couple of decels so they got me to change into the semi-recumbent position. I remember actually not giving a toss what the outcome was. I just wanted it to stop. Pushed for all I was worth. They kept all saying what a fantastic job I was doing and how I was pushing really effectively and she was moving down fast. I kept thinking this meant she would be crowning with the next contraction... but there always seemed to be one more to go!
Eventually we got there, head starting to crown. The MWs were amazing and coached me carefully with when to push and when to pant and she emerged causing only one small 1st degree tear and some labial grazes. No stitches needed. Do your perineal massage girls!! The MW said afterwards that based on my skin type she thought I would tear badly, and she was amazed at how well my perineum stretched out. So I reckon it worked!
I was so utterly shocked by what crowning felt like that I was almost non plussed when Freya landed on my chest all blue and slimey and screaming. I?d lost the plot to some extent and kind of forgotten that I was actually having a baby! We let the cord finish pulsing and then it was clamped and DH cut it.
Our gorgeous girl weighed in at 7lb 7oz. She has a little bit of very fine brown hair and deep inky sapphire blue eyes. She does that adorable cross eyed thing when she looks at you because she can?t focus yet.
She was as exhausted as I was after the labour (established labour noted as 21 hours ? 19+ hours 1st stage, 1.5 hours 2nd stage and 20 mins 3rd stage), and consequently wouldn?t feed at all for the first 36 hours. I was hand expressing into syringes and giving it to her. She?s really struggled with latching as she?s got a slightly recessed bottom jaw and so a tendency to suck her bottom lip rather than opening up her mouth fully. She also HATED being manhandled onto the breast and screamed and screamed and thrashed around twisting her neck round madly. I got really distressed by it and felt totally crap. Eventually in the middle of the second night after taking the edge off her hunger with a syringe of EBM, and in peace and quiet alone, I got her to latch on and feed for 8 mins. It was some kind of miracle!
Since then the feeding has slowly improved. She tends to unlatch herself about 20 times in a 20 min feed which means that the feeds took aaaages to do, but we are now down to about 1hour to get 30 mins of feeding done in which is such amazing progress.
My milk came in in staggering quantities and we had to get a breast pump so I could take the first bit of milk off so she actually had a nipple she could get into her mouth ? otherwise it was a bit like trying to latch a kitten onto a football and just ended up with her screaming in frustration.
She?s been a bit jaundiced because of the slow start to feeding, but is now gaining weight again and improving in colour.
We are completely smitten and taking hundreds of photos. I am so in love 
And now she wants another feed.
Love to all xx