November 2011 Mums-to-be

[DirgeInVegas]

Am I the first? I can't see another November thread.

Ok, my stats, I am 32, have 1 dd (2.1) and edd is 03/11/2011.

I had a mc at Christmas but feel ok about this pregnancy, though I only found out 3 days ago so I may get a bit more panicked as time passes.

Anyone else want to join me in a November baby thread?

Hi reallyuseful 3rd? Really? Haha!

I don't think so CEP. I am happy to carry on feeding as long as she wants, the hardest bit for me really was the first 6 months. I will even have a go at tandem feeding if dd doesn't wean in pregnancy.

My loose plan is to move me, DD & new baby to the futon bed with a child on either side. I considered a Cosatto close to me (I think its called) but dd probably wont sleep on it and I find easiest night feeding is when the baby is resting on my arm.

It's all a bit of a worry because I hate the lack of sleep with a small baby.

Did you get help from a bfc? It is distressing when you struggle with bf, I struggled to the point of tears with dd. Fingers crossed this one will be a better experience for you!

Sorry! don't know what that link was! proper link!

cep, do you have flat or inverted nipples? I think you can get shields which draw them out ( Nipplette?) but you have to wear them before the baby is born. Otherwise if it's a latching issue you need a bfc. MWs are not all well trained in bf.

Welcome reallyusefelengine!

Hello all. Had hand surgery yesterday (to remove some 8 year old stones leftover from a motorcycle accident in thailand) so can't type well.

Congrats to Sibella and really!! The 3rd is popular, I reckon my GP will move me to the 2nd based on cycle info but I am fairly sure it is 4th because I was charting (2nd cycle since MC and things weren't fully back to normal). I will be pushing to keep the 4th though as I don't want to miss out on my HB or be induced.

Is anyone else feeling tired, I have been absolutely shattered today with no energy, I am sure it shouldn't be like this so early on

Anyway, off to bed, Night all!

chip you star!! I think I love you! I'm going to suggest to dh that we buy one too and it matches DD's bedroom furniture so if she ever goes in it won't mean new stuff!

How does 4 in the bed work out for you? Are you still bf?

Terrys I hope your hand gets better soon! Typing good for recovery - helps circulation...er...

Yes I was charting too so 3rd based on ov but October based on my last period. I reckon the scan will put me back in November though - my dates are different by a week so I'm not worried yet.

I know what you mean. I had difficult delivery with dd and my midwife was great on the phone, supportive of homebirth but wants me to see a consultant anyway so that I'm aware of all the risks. Which I am. I have been googling for 2 years since dd was born! But, I know they would prefer me in hospital so i don't want to give them reason to admit me by seeming overdue when I'm not.

No, I bf ds4 till he was 2 but knew from past experience that I can't conceive whilst bf so had to give up. If time had been more on my side I would have preferred him to self-wean. . Co-sleeping used not to be so bad but lately ds3 goes down to the end of the bed so it's a bit like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate factory and I am trying to find a place for my legs at the end of the bed.

I am not tired at all at the moment but am sure it will kick in soon!

Thanks Cep, new to Mumsnet and I get a bit confused. Thanks for adding me to the stats. I got a link to a nice Ikea bed, ended up perusing the online catalogue, thanks for that! BTW, my friend's daughter has that bed, it's lovely.

Oh, and had a terrible time trying to bf DS and fully expected a tough time with DD - I had a BFC lined up for the birth etc but nope, totally different experience.

dirge how many feeds does she have still? sorry i'm asking so many questions but i'm fascinated, cause i couldn't do it for very long i've always wondered how long i would do it for if i could (ok did that even make sense?) I had a midwife in the ward trying to help but found her a bit abrupt, i think one of the health visitors who came round was supposed to be a specialist but didn't have a proper consultant.

chip i don't think so they came out they just sucked back in as soon as ds tried to latch on, maybe i just didn't let them come out far enough before putting him on. on the first try in hosp he gave me a little blister on my nip cause he wasn't on quite right and that hurt.
The bed looks nice i take it you just plonk it next to yours kinds like the ones that latch on in the hosp?

terrys glad the surgery went well. just take it easy and use the other hand. i think i'm going to go further back it's the 5th based on af start date.

really no probs, i remember when i first joined mn it took me a while to get my nerve up to actually post anything at all.

well i'm of those not tired, i'm knackered most evenings, had a really bad night's sleep last night, ds woke up at 3:30 and was awake on and off since then, sooo tired. when i complained to dh about being tired he was like "so am i" "but it's your choice to work in the garage opn your pet project for so long." "oh here we go as soon as your pregnant it all goes wrong." so i said "maybe it all goes wrong cause you're a selfish arse". i'm supposed to feel what? sorry for him cause he wants to play with his new toy in the garage till late at night/early morning. grrrr it's gonna be a fun day with my dss and niece around as well as ds (who's gonna be knackered) and af is "due" today so will be worrying about that as well.

sorry feeling a bit annoyed and frustrated, this is clearly going to be another pregnancy i go through "on my own" i want a dh who's interested who wants to feel baby move etc, grrrr

oh and someone mentioned homebirth earlier in the thread, my m/wife would have a fit if i asked for that cause i'm so overweight, they won't even consider it. Infact the first time they almost told me i couldn't have him at the midwife led centre so i said well i'll stay at home then. funnily enough i had him at the midwife centre.

sorry for long post.

cep, even if the bfing doesn't take off in hospital you can still get an NCT bfc to come to your house, I think? Just because you get off to a bad start doesn't mean it's the end of bf and those women really know what they're about.

Good morning everyone, hello to sibella and really

My midwife just rang me and she is coming to see me this afternoon! How fast is that for an appointment?! Fingers crossed for an EPU referral.

I woke up this morning and felt like I hadn't had any sleep at all, luckily the kids have all gone out so I can have a lazy morning on the sofa. :)

i'll try and remember that, thanks chip hopefully won't be a problem this time.

i'll probably go for an appointment around 7-8 weeks, and ask. Can m/wifes arrange epu scans? or only normal ones?

cep sorry your DH is being a bit of an arse, I hope he gets his act together soon!

Dirge so you are still BF-ing! How old is DD? I stopped when DS was 19 months, actually one day he didn't ask and I didn't offer so he kind of self weaned. I still miss it though.

Re: BF, AFAIK its never too late to start, BF counsellors with the NCT can help over the phone or visit you.

I think I will go see my doc next Friday as I will be 5 weeks (FX I get that far!!) and hopefully get an EPU scan at 6-7 weeks. We have to see the doc first here and then get a booking in apt, it all seems so varying depending on where you live.

Just spotted this thread and wanted to congratulate you all.

I had my DS on 11/11/10 and it does not seem like a year since I got my BFP. Enjoy your pgs as they will fly by

Evening everyone!

Chip I think we're on a self-weaning journey now that shes over two. I wondered if she might wean during this pregnancy but I just can't imagine it to be honest.

Cep it varies how much she feeds. I work part time so on those days I get up before her for work and she probably won't feed until I get home at 5.30pm or if she's having too much fun then bedtime (and once or twice through the night). On my days off she generally only feeds to sleep at about 2pm and if she gets up though she does occassionally ask through the day but its usually more like a touching-base kind of feed. She rarely asks to feed in public unless shes hurt or exhausted. The world is more interesting than my boobs!

It's nice to be honest and really the quickest way to calm her when she's scared/upset/hurt/having a meltdown. She says it tastes like icecream . My nipples are getting sore at the moment which is making it less enjoyable .

I had a male midwife "teach" me to breastfeed. I wish I'd just said no thinking back but I didn't want to make a big deal out of the fact that he was a man. He said nothing, seriously not a word, just squeezed my boob into a "burger" shape and kept shocing DD's head on. It wouldn't work, I assumed it was me "failing" (blame, blame, blame) and expressed and syringe-fed DD for days. When DD was about 6 weeks I found a La Leche League bfc who was amazing, she got DD to latch on without ever touching me (the bfc not DD obviously) and gave me her number so I could contact her any time. She inspired me to train as a bfc because I remembered how grateful I was for her time and wanted to give that back to other women.

LLL are lovely, always lots of cake at the meetings and they welcome pregnant women, curious women, anyone really. You could go along to your local group in your last trimester and get some tips. Knowledge is power!

Gosh, such a long post, sorry. Terrys I think I would miss it too, nice that he self-weaned though, he'd obviously had his needs met

Here you can self-refer to the midwife so I did that last week (mainly hoping I'd get my scan date for nearer 10 weeks that 13 weeks). Then a midwife called me arrange my booking in appointment at my GP surgery - next available slot is 11th of April when I will be about 11 weeks-ish.

Missinvincible How was your midwife appointment?

Cep my DH can be quite thoughtless too. He adores his PS3 and we had an argument yesterday about how he seems to look for reasons to spend time without his family. Thats how I feel sometimes, I look for ways we can do things together and make the most of our days off together and he only seems to get excited about stag dos, me having early nights so he can go on the ps even more and me and dd staying with family on my days off. I hope things are good now.

Oh and my friend was told she was far too overweight for a homebirth (morbidly obese they called her) and she did it. Said it was the best experience and very healing after a bad first experience. What are the risks linked to weight?

Sorry this is so long, I have probably xposted all over the place. I started it ages ago!

Cep - have you seen

Hi Dirge, midwife was absolutely lovely - I now have my notes and it is starting to feel real! She is going to call the EPU on Monday and try and get me booked in for an early scan. We briefly discussed VBAC, I am going to be brave and give it a go. Hopefully I will get near my due date this time.

MissInvincible, I attempted VBAC with ds2. I didn't succeed, unfortunately but do arm yourself with enough information and speak up if anything doesn't seem right. I was given Synotocin during my VBAC. Now I knew that shouldn't happen but didn't speak up as I assumed the two MW's and the doctor knew what they were doing. It didn't end well!

Also, do try to move around as much as possible. I was up on a bed attached to a monitor all the time. If you can find a good class for VBAC, I would attend it.

Having spoken since to other mothers who had a successful VBAC, I realised how badly ds2's birth was handled and how over-medicalised it was.

If I had been better educated, I think things might have gone better. As it was ds2 is great but I would have liked to push him out myself.

dirge i think i'd be then same i'd probably stay quiet. i think i will look more into what's in this area to help with bf i would really like to do it successfully this time. was the link supposed to be planet rock?

If i want an early scan is it best to go to gp or m/w??

How did it do that? I haven't even got youtube open. The link was to a homebirth page. Let me try again without the renaming...

www.homebirth.org.uk/youcant.htm#17

MissInvincible I am an antenatal teacher and have a mum who's going for vbac this time. She has been told she must be monitored continously and I think she's ok with that but we've worked a plan around that. It can be done, you just have to make sure you stay in your little birth-bubble and ignore whats going on.

Chip I cannot believe they gave you syntocin! I haven't mentioned to my mum-to-be that she shouldn't be induced because I assumed that was a given but perhaps I will mention it next week.

Cep My GP had to refer me for the scan (when I mc) I have been told I won't get one this time unless I have bleeding. I'm ok with that, well, at the moment (not yet 5 weeks!!).

Thanks chipmonkey. Unfortunately I don't have much confidence in my local maternity unit, my sister's baby died shortly after birth due to their negligence and I believe that my early C section was necessary only because of a dose of diamorphine they gave me despite my begging them not to (I found out I was allergic to it during my labour with DD - traumatic!). I also gave birth to DS1 without pain relief as they left it too late, I was given a shot of pethidine literally minutes before he was born so it didn't take effect til afterwards! I have been thinking about maybe going to another local hospital but am worried about how practical it would be having to get there and sort out 3 other children when the time comes, and due to all the complications I've had previously a home birth is out of the running too.

For it to work I know I have to do lots of research and stick to my guns, I shall be training DP to stand guard and make sure everything runs smoothly!

miss how awful, can't blame youfor having no trust in them. is there anywhere else you could go???

dirge thanks will have a read of that.

a meme moment, just been to loo and wiped and a bit of red blood not a lot but enough to scare me, as today is af day am now thinking maybe this will turn into a chemical.

Aah cep, I really hope everything is ok, I have been dreading going to the loo all week for that reason. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you x

Does that make you 4 weeks cep? I have another link for you if so...

I had that this week (4 weeks to the day I think) and discovered that implantation goes on past the time when you can get a bfp and usually completes at week 4. I think mine was implantation.

Fingers crossed for no more bleeding x

www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/04weeks/

cep hope ERTD stays away and its just the little bean implanting nice and firmly!

I just did another test - thats 4 now and I am so chuffed to see a really dark line, much darker than it ever went before. And it wasn't even FMU!!