Jue in June 2011 - not even our growing bumps can stop us from wittering on

[neenewps]

Onwards we go with the 2nd trimester...

Hi all, dropped off to sleep before managing to post Saturday, so feel like I've got lots of catching up to do now...

Barbie great news on the childcare front; my Mum has DS one day a week (he goes to CM 3 days and 1 day with me) and they both love it! Watch out though if you get tax credits for childcare costs; they won't give you childcare element if the caregiver is not qualified. Sounds like very bizarre behaviour from your current childminder .

I've had good news too on that front! We really want to keep our current childminder and were worried about how we would be able to afford it during my maternity leave, and she told us last week that the council have offered her temporary work looking after the children of young Mums whilst they retrain or complete school. She can use this to fill in gaps when she is not getting work from elsewhere, so she is happy for us to have a break whilst I'm on maternity leave without paying a monthly retainer, then she will look after both dcs when I go back to work.

Oh, and on the smoking front, I'm still craving cigarettes, but only intermittently. The cravings are really strong when I get them though. It doesn't help that my partner smokes (although he smokes outdoors), so there is always tobacco in the house , and lighters hanging around and stuff. I am like the Bisto kid when I smell cigarette smoke, but can't stand the smell of it on his clothes or breath.

To the person who was asking about when we would be moving baby into its own room, I am with lentil-chowing sasamaxx and would love to co-sleep, but sadly can't because my partner smokes (increases risk of SIDS). We had ds in our room until he was 6 months in a crib right by my side, which worked well, and I would get him into bed with me for a cuddle and a feed once dp got up for work. He was a goood sleeper from the start, and it was lovely to have him right next to me when he was a newborn and listen to him sleeping soundly and snuffling at night. That was the deal-breaker in the end though, as his cutesy snuffling quickly turned into walrus-type snoring at a very early age (definitely his father's son), so he was packed off to his cot in his room when I started losing too much shut-eye!

Maternity leave-wise, I am planning on finishing the last week of May (due 22nd June). I get 3 months full pay, 3 months half pay, 3 months SMP, and plan to take the 9 months, plus a month's annual leave. We will really struggle, and I will probably go back to work in debt, but I don't want to go back any earlier. I don't think there is anything wrong with going back earlier, but I felt I personally needed that long at home with baby the first time around. I'll be going back 4 days a week like I do now.

TTL I'd go for the 5 afternoon/evening shifts if I were you. Paying for childcare is very draining on our budget, so I would want to minimise this as much as possible, and I also find it very stressful having to worry about squeezing extra hours in every week wherever I can. I tried to do this in my job when I first returned to work after having ds1, working a 5 day week hours-wise with only 4 days in the office, and it stressed me out, so in the end I reduced my contractual hours.

Hope everyone else is well, sorry no more individual posts, I can feel my bed calling! I have my first counselling session tomorrow morning so wish me luck!

Am just reading through and will write a long one (again!) in a sec but leroy wow! great minds!! I was going to mail you and suggest Darragh/ Daragh/ Dara/ Dáire to you as your Irish boy's name!!!

Hi Everyone - can I join you?

I'm due 13th June with my first (don't know the sex yet) but will probably end up being a bit early as am likely to need a CS.

Stuck at home at the moment (hence the lateness of the post) with a really bad back so am finally catching up on all the pregnancy forums etc!

Welcome gdmts1981. I am due 14th June with my first baby and I must be a similar age to you since I was born December 1980!

leroy so exciting about the baby boy clothes you bought-we have 2weeks to wait for our 20 week scan when I'll be exactly 20 weeks-sale shopping meant we could only get one or two grey or white items which was very frustrating!

Well I'm back to bed for a lie in -have just done wifely duty of dropping husband at station as he is off to Manchester today, but it's my day off so a sneaky lie in!

On the sleeping thing, I'd like to co-sleep with the baby but it's not possible while DD is still climbing in our bed every night. We were planning to try to break the habit before baby arrives, but it gets her so stressed and sad, and I'm terrified she'll link it to the baby and blame him/her, so resent them before they even arrive. Looks like monkey gets to keep prime place and baby gets demoted to 2nd from the word go!

My only solution is to put baby and cot straight into DD's room which they'll share, and for the first few weeks I'll sleep on a blow-up bed in the middle of their room. Then I can check on the baby, and hopefully DD will stay in her bed when she wakes, because one of us is in her room with her. Then, she might start to feel like she has to stay in their room, because she's the big grown-up sister looking after the baby, after I move back into our bedroom.

Probably wishful thinking, but you've got to have a plan, right?

Welcome gdmts, hope your bad back didn't keep you awake too late last night!

LisasCat how old is your DD? Could you fit both in the bed?

We co-slept. My DD doesn't come into our bed any more (I go and get in with her if need be) but I'm anticipating a regression when the baby arrives. I was just planning on making her squeeze in between me and DH. Hopefully she will get fed up of having no room and being woken by the baby and decide her room is the place to be!
Dr Sears website might have some stuff on co-sleeping with 2.
Am really thinking we might need a bigger bed.....

Morning ladies
Very of the bounty packs - none here and noone seems to know about them, maybe its a regional thing.
Went to aquanatal last night - bit scared by all the talk of babies and labour. Yeah...I know...but I'm not used to being in an environment with other women talking about those things. Good session though, nice to do another type of exercise and its totally changed my view of water birthing.

Did you see One Born Every Minute last night. Am I being naive but was the screaming girl just a little bit over the top and annoying? the most important thing to me about the birth is to be in a peaceful tranquil environment with peaceful tranquil people around me and if that girl was next door I think I'd get really stressed and have to slap her....is it just me?

Going to see another GP on Thursday about my blood problems. I've finally had enough of my current one and am changing. TBH I decided to hate her after her unbelievbaly unsympathetic reaction to my 3rd + 4th mc but shes pushed me too far now. Hopefully the new one will be a bit more clued up about pg and related conditions.

Only 6 more weeks til my 20 (24) week scan grrrr. MW at aquanatal was horrified at that and said I should kick up a fuss...but how?

Hi all,

Thanks for the link re co-sleeping Sasamaxx - I would love to do this but am reliant upon DH giving up smoking first - he says he will but I'm not convinced he can at the moment.

Jasmine - re. the screaming girl - yes - really over the top - enough to terrify anyone!! Both DH and I cried when the baby was born though :)

Anyone looking into hynobirthing? My Auntie has been encouraging me to look at it so I have ordered a couple of books off of Amazon - she is a hypnotist.

moog Glad you thought the same about screaming girl..was worried I was being naive again.

I am a qualified hypnotherapist too so will be looking into this with interest. I have also been reading about 'cognitive birthing' which seems to be more about working with the pain and visualising the birth journey than disassociation techniques that hypno usually works on - will let you know

How interesting Jasmine re. hypnotherapy. My Auntie says that she has had a lot of people say it has really helped them in labour so i am very interested.

I got on the scales today for the first time in a while and have put on 11 pounds (am 18 weeks). This is a lot I think??

moog Step away from the scales! I have put on more than you but I'm not saying how much. After my aquanatal class last night when everyone else seemed to be sporting pert bottoms and neat little bumps I'm feeling a bit down about the weight thing TBH. In comparison to everyone else I would put myself in the group who are around the 25 week mark. There was a tiny girl there who is also 18 wks and I thought she was there just to support her friend as she had no bump, no boobs and certainly no flesh spilling out over her swim suit. Ive got a new resolution to think more carefully about my diet (now that I've stopped feeling sick..hooray) and get out and do some proper exercise.
11 lbs seems healthy enough to me

on the weight thing, i am 21 weeks and have put on 10lbs i looked on the weight gain calculater and its says this is a normal healthy amount so im trying not to worry about it too much, i am a compulsive weigher tho, i have my scales in the bathroom so its all to easy to jump on

jasmine and moog - please try not to worry about the weight. Everyone puts on different amounts and its difficult to tell how much is baby/fluid and/or fat. Personally having had 2 small babies before I would be delighted to put on more weight and have a normal sized baby this time round.

jasmine Re your 20 (24) wk scan - speak to the PALS (patient liaison service) at the hospital. Its their job to sort out complaints like this. The number should be easily to find on the JR website. They may however say that you are within the timeframe for the scan because it says it should be done between 18-24 weeks in my notes.

Welcome to gdmts1981 (I'm reading your mumsnet name as goddamit for some reason )

8rubberduckies fab news about your cm not making you pay a retainer. You really do want to stick with a good one (speaks from experience).

leroy I'm with you on the spots - I go really spotty in pg and I hate it.

barbie that's wonderful news that your mum will be able to look after your DCs. Must be a huge weight off your mind. Your CM does sound like a bit of a nightmare to deal with.

kara ignore your colleagues - they're probably just jealous.

clarkiee you will probably find a whole flood of your friends getting pg in the near future. Its like one does it and the rest think, ooh that's a good idea. We had so many babies within a few years it was ridiculous.

knackered loving the fact that your bump is called bob . My DS2 keeps wanting to give the baby a kiss and its so sweet. I'm sure he won't be quite as sweet once it arrives and he realises that it will mean less attention for him.

Had an appt with the consultant yesterday (as I'm high risk) and got to hear the hb which was lovely (I'm 15+6 today). He was a really nice man too, although he thought I wanted a vbac and I told him in no uncertain terms that I wanted a c-section. I am still knackered and ms keeps coming back which is really starting to piss me off. Also trying and failing to find a swimming costume that you can actually swim in. I know its winter but really, you would think there would be more in stock. I have now found some on M&S's website which have good reviews so hopefully they will fit ok. I really want to get back to swimming asap and to take the boys swimming at the weekends and I can't do it until I have a costume to wear.

Re taking maternity leave - my holiday year finishes in May so I have basically no holiday to take for this year. I am planning to finish work around the 20th May so I can have a month-ish off. I will probably end up having a c-section around 22nd June I think. Our work is quite good on mat pay so we get 6 weeks full pay, 16 weeks half pay and then statutory. We also get a return to work bonus of 6 weeks pay. I am intending to take the full year off and stick my holiday from 2011-2012 onto the end of it. I really want to stretch it out until after the olympics are finished as I want to go and see some of the events (I'm in London) but I don't think that is going to be possible.

louey oo, I was just about to ask re swimming costumes so will check out the M&S site. Have convinced myself that I only looked like a whale at the class last night because I had tried to squeeze into my old swimsuit ...on with the online shopping!

Didn't see obem but I can say from experience screaming doesn't help! The more relaxed you can be, which is easier said then done!, the better it is. Breathing is a huge factor so get those breathing exercises practiced :) I think I 'screamed' once with dd and that was when her head came out, not sure it was a scream though, more of an exclamation of ouch (a very loud ouch!). I'm a big fan of whatever works for you

Agree with Jasmine here, step away from the scales! As Louey said, people put on weight at different points and the thing you should be focusing on is not what weight you have put on but how healthy your diet is (now all I need to do is take my own advice ).

Louey lovely to hear the heartbeat :) My friend tried vbac, well I say tried, she went for a sweep at 40wks and was told her cervix was doing nothing so she opted for a c-section again after an awful first time. Stand firm and get what you want!

Leroy hope your scan has gone well today :)

Enjoy the rest of the day ladies!

Just had a text from FIL updating him on his progress and according to the Dr at the hospital 20% of flu jabs fail!!! (FIL had it at start of Winter) Definately sticking to my guns and not getting it now (well unless I start hearing about anyone around here getting it).

I watched one episode of OBEM last series and it annoyed me so much that I've sworn off it.

Had the house to myself for a few hours this morning and as the sun is beating i through my front window I did I bit of bump bathing in the sun. Bean loved it! In that 15 minutes I had the most movement out of bean that I've ever felt. Think I have a little sun worshipper onboard (just like it's Mummy)

lol motherofsnortpigs - I've got a reputation already.

knackered Yes - after weaving the tofu, I dyed with natural dyes and crocheted the ends.
I have a ham rib on just now for more stock - hmmmmm is more lentil soup in order I wonder???

Kara re bedside cots - they are really handy for popping babies in and out during the night. The one I have is called the 'armsreach co-sleeper' - it folds up to about the size of a travel cot as well so that when the baby is tiny you can take it on holiday with you and have a bedside cot wherever you go. I have the 'mini' which is good for the first few months, but they do bigger ones too

moomin I did watch one born every minute last night at the screaming woman - I kept wanting her to stop screaming so that she could actually take her gas and air - as it was, she couldn't get any as she was screaming constantly and she'd have had some pain relief if only she'd done this. Good point Jasmine how annoying if she was next door to your labour suite.

8rubberduckies 2 nights ago I had a dream that I smoked 20 b&h - odd since I never smoked b&h anyway - was very relieved when I woke up and realised it was a dream. I know that it would only take 20 to hook me again (even though it was nearly 6 years ago I stopped). Cigarettes are so evil - they just get you in their power so easily.

stargirl and lisascat - I think the answer is a room which is just a massive bed - you open the door and climb on. I have daydreamed about this in the past

jasmine and moog I can wholeheartedly recommend aromatherapy for labour. I saw a midwife aromatherapist last time and she mixed a massage oil for labour, also bottles of lavender, orange and rose. I had very precise instructions for using them. I can't remember exactly but it was something like inhale lavender and orange during contractions to ease pain, and rose and orange between them to speed up labour and intensify contractions. I loved doing the routine, and found it so calming. It definitely meant that I could do without gas and air for much longer than I would have been able to otherwise

I am thoroughly jealous of everyone's slankets.

I went swimming today - looked like a beached whale - my thighs are big now too and I only did 10 lengths

Welcome gdmts1981, we are due date buddies!

I'm going to my first pregnancy yoga class tonight, very excited!

All you swimming ladies are doing well ... I'm so lazy it's not true and have virtually stopped exercising since being pregnant. I used to cycle 10 miles a day to work and back (before September when I started my new job). But my new excuse is that according to that pregnancy weight calculator thing I am 5lbs under the weight I should have put on, having still put on NOTHING (am 16+2). Going to buy new scales from Argos today, as my jeans are definitely tight and my bump is small but showing. And honestly, I have been lazing around, eating more chocolate every day than I used to eat in a week, eating crisps, cake, mince pies, McDonald's and takeaways all the time (when usually I'd maybe have one of those once a month, not all of them once a week!), and generally not giving a rat's arse about putting on weight.

Fish and chips for dinner tonight, then ...

I watched OBEM last night. I was initially shock] at the woman but, having never given birth, feel it's too early to judge . Probably that'll be me in 5 months' time. I thought she was way over the top until afterwards she said she thought it had helped her and she'd do it again next time. Whatever works! Looking forward to next week's when that amazingly glamorous-looking woman manages to give birth and look like she's modelling for Vogue at the same time. If it keeps my labour illusions alive for a little longer, I'm happy!

Oh and welcome to the group gdmts1981

Figleaves swimsuit purchased...do you think somehow magically having a proper maternity suit will make me look less like a walrus?

Yep, welcome gdmts1981 :)

You'll look like a goddess, jasmine. When I went to a spa with my mum a couple of weeks ago I had to buy a swimsuit the day before as I'd forgotten to take mine to my mum's. Bought one in my normal size from TK Maxx at closing time and had no time try it on. It was so low on my boobs that I was perpetually afraid of nipplage, and the rest of my boobs were spilling out all over the shop. Not a good look :)

'all over the shop' meaning all over the place (and not in TK Maxx ...). The other spa ladies got an eyeful!