NCT classes - suitable or not?

[Quirrel]

My sister has suggested that my wife and I attend NCT classes so that she can meet other local mums to be.

I've spent some time researching the classes for her and reading reviews and have a couple of concerns.

May is Thai, not mail order, internet ordered or anything Daily Mailish like that. Just someone (a bit more important than just someone) I met whilst working in SEA.

Her English isn't perfect (nor is mine) but she quite happily chats away with with people and is very sociable.

The concern I have is the reviews I've read of NCT classes are that she will end up with a lot of middle class mums to be discussing their husbands jobs and money. I'm quite concerned that people will look down their nose at her purely because of her country of origin and make her feel uncomfortable.

Are these fears just me stereotyping what I have read and heard about NCT classes or is this likely to be the case?

It would be really good for her to have more friends who are expecting rather than her current group of friends who are already mothers and can only explain what it was like at the time.

Thanks

D

I really think you are being stereotypical.

Do you live in London? You certainly an not afford to hold that attitude here.

I never did NCT classes but lots of women find them fun and make friends.

Baby groups are great too. I have met a wide range of mums from differing backgrounds and ethnic group.

No one's English is perfect.

I really really really dislike your description of your partner:

"May is Thai, not mail order, internet ordered or anything Daily Mailish like that. Just someone (a bit more important than just someone) I met whilst working in SEA."

You can't be serious.

How do local baby groups work? Where would be the best place to find out about them?

You can't be serious - not really, but working in rural County Durham, it's always entertaining explaining that you can meet foreign partners without having to meet them on a dating website, I forget that the rest of the UK isn't quite as narrow minded as up here.

Thanks for the advice on the baby groups. NCT have just opened up a new local class to us, so will sign up for that.

Oh ok then. A good local nursery as well as sure start centre should have some information as to baby groups / breastfeeding cafes / toy library etc.

Also some other ideas are baby swimming, library (reading groups). Pilates.

Good luck with the upcoming birth.

Congratulations on your wife's pregnancy.

At my NCT class the women certainly didn't discuss their husband's jobs and money - probably because half of us earn more than our husbands and all of us have our own careers! One woman in the group is from Japan, one husband is half Indian half white English, and of course the white / English people in the group don't look down their noses at them!

It is the case that in my area (Herts) NCT classes tend to be pretty middle class. But I don't think that middle class is synonymous with racist and prejudiced.

For listings of local baby groups etc, see Netmums local.

I would second the recommendation of Sure Start centres, find your local ones here. I love our local ones! My local centres are representative of the local ethnic mix.

Your local NCT group probably runs a "Bumps and Babes" group for pregnant women and under 1s, and it's probably open to non-NCT members.

Also baby rhyme time at your local library (probably free), lots of fun. Suitable for under 1s.

Once you start going to a group, you get chatting to some mums, ask them what other groups / activities they go to, and before you know it you are the local expert on baby groups!

I found the NCT class a great way to meet people and if jobs were discussed it was very briefly and without prejudice getting in the way of making friends.

I think my partner also really enjoyed meeting other blokes in the same position as him.

See if there's an antenatal yoga/swimming/exercise class locally as I found that a great way to meet people too.

There were 12 different nationalities amongst my NCT group. We didn't discuss jobs or money in any of the sessions and only found out what each other or partners did if we became friends after the births.

Does anyone have a recommendation on choosing between NCT and Birthlight antenatal classes?

My first thought in joining my NCT class was that I wouldn't be friends with anyone there, but we ended up absolutely living in each others pockets for the first year (and would have done for longer except some returned to NZ, some emigrated to Australia and Singapore and then we moved to the coast, although we still keep in contact over 3 years later)!

Definitely worthwhile!