Feb 2011 - growing bigger, loosing our figure

[angels1]

Just a new thread as I noticed we are near the limit (again)!

Hi all, TPT is so exciting, but after doing it there is nothing new to report, isn't that strange? there is plenty (plenty) of mov. inside...

re jab I'll def. be getting it. I never get colds and so far I've had two in the last 6 months, so really aware of the changes in my inmune system. Also, it isn't a live vaccine, so really no danger of introducing it, and agree with prof, if we were the first people to have it I'd be very worried, but there were no problems last year. Also working in schools is a recipe for gettin absolutely everything... why don't they learn to cough covering their mouths????

Ugh, I feel too tired to function today! I haven't even done my TPT measurement.

I could just curl into a ball and sleep for a hundred years but nasty DD won't let me! She wants to play . Might have a nap when she goes to school this afternoon! I don't know how some of you cope at work! I'd be crawling under my desk, I think!

It's days like this when I'm glad I'm not childminding anymore! It takes me all my time to entertain DD, without paperwork etc!

SBF, hope you're feeling better today!

Oh yes, I was just wondering if any third or fourth timers could give me any tips for helping DD feel included when the baby comes? ATM she seems quite happy with the fact that there is a new baby coming. Everytime she sees a baby on TV or in RL she'll say, "oh! A baby, we're having a baby aren't we?" in an excited voice but it's probably not real to her yet.

I'm a bit worried that when visitors come and bring presents etc she'll feel pushed out. It breaks my heart to think of her not feeling included. Also when I'm feeding the baby and she asks me to play or do something I won't be able to because I'll be feeding the baby. I don't want her to feel like, "mummy is always feeding the baby!"

I am expecting dc4 wandering and touch wood have never had any major problems with the older one/s when baby arrives.

I always get them to show the visitors their new baby when they arrive and let them open the presents for me. A lot of people bring them something too, sweets are a hit (esp if they have their own dc's).

I have never had to do it, but some of my friends have made a special box of toys, books, sticker books etc that just come out when mummy is busy feeding. To make it a special time. I personally don't think it is the end of the world to all snuggle up on the sofa with a dvd that they have picked.

I think you are doing exactly the right things with her to prepare for the new arrival.

As the time gets nearer I start to talk a bit about when mummy has the baby ie. it might be a bit noisy, where they are going to be when I'm in labour, who might collect them from school etc.

Oh and a lovely BIG present from the new baby always goes down well. She will probably be more of a problem being over protective than jealous!!! And it wouldn't be long before none of you even remember a time without baba!!!!

I forget how old your DD is (heck, at the moment I'm forgetting how old my own DCs are half the time...)?

I know that with DS before DD was born I spent a lot of time making sure that he had realistic expectations about babies and not over-egging the "babies are such fun" pudding. So lots of reinforcing that to begin with a baby doesn't really do anything much other than sleep and feed and poo, and that the baby wouldn't be able to play with him for a long time, and so forth.

We didn't do a "present from the baby" because there's the same age gap between DH and his younger sister and he can still clearly remember being presented with a "present from the baby" and looking at the tiny squalling infant thinking "Yeah, right, it's a present from the baby... ". But DS did get a present when DD arrived, so he still associated it with her. Most people who turned up did actually make a big fuss of DS and had generally bought him a present too, so that wasn't really an issue (we may just have very well-trained friends and relations...). And he got to watch a LOT more television than he had previously been allowed to do, so he approved of that too.

A lot of advice says "when older child comes to see you in hospital, don't be holding the baby when they come in" or "when you come home from hospital, have your DH carry the new baby so that your arms are free to give DC1 a hug" - HA! Tried that and was virtually elbowed out of the way by DS desperate to get his hands on his baby sister...

Oh, yes, he did try to feed her a marshmallow at less than 24 hours old and dropped her on her head when she was a couple of months old (she was crying, he thought he ought to take her to us, so picked her up by her ankles and started carrying her across the room, then when we turned round, saw him and shouted "DS!!!!" he let go in panic... fortunately he wasn't very big so her head was only about a centimetre off the floor in the first place), so it wasn't all entirely plain sailing...

agree wandering with justonemore - I remember when my little sister was born (there's a big age gap of nearly 10 years) that when I first went to see her and mum in hospital there was a lovely wrapped up gift and card from my new baby sister for me - a cuddly badger toy . I think my mum must have been worried sick as apparently I kept telling her I didn't want a brother or sister, and I do recall refusing to even look at my sister when she was born or to acknowledge her initially [shakes head at own behaviour]. The only reason I went over to her little hospital cot thing when visiting mum was to get the gift I had been hinted at was waiting for me in there. That quickly passed though and we were/are always very close.

speaking about how DC will adapt to new arrival - can I ask a very odd question and obviously not nearly as important - what about pets? We have a cat which I can't stand (and it can't stand me) but adores DH. I can see it getting very naughty and jumping up on him/baby/inside pram etc. DH is such an annoyance he refuses to tell the cat off for anything and doesn't train it too effectively in my eyes (but then he claims you can't stop a cat doing something it wants to - which is sort of more worrying). I'm convinced the cat will get big envy to new baby when DH with baby - it has envy with me taking up DHs attentions.

No experience of this but I would imagine your Dh will change how he let's the cat have 'free rein'.

His precious new babe will def out rank it!

Poor cat may feel pushed out!!

Oh dear.

Hope you're right justonemore - I must admit I'd feel a little peeved if DH took cat higher rank than new baby.....but.....he is mighty stubborn with that darn cat and how much he likes it (can you tell this is a big source of deisagreement between us?!).

angels my dog was fine when dd1 came home, an old tip is to get someone to hang 1 or 2 dirty sleepsuits, vests etc in the living room etc before you come home from hospital, get cat used to the smell.

When I had dd2 lots of people brought little presents, colouring books, sweets etc for dd1, although I didn't bring her into hospital to see dd2, she was 2.4 yrs old and I was worried about her being upset at leaving me in hospital!!!

Right am definitely booking flu jab, three staff in dd2 playgroup are off sick and loads are off in dd1 primary school.

angels I have the exact same worry as MIL who will be very involved in regular baby sitting as she lives close by has five cats. Am worried that they will scratch the baby, if not when she's younger, then when she's old enough to try to "play" with them...

Back from my holiday and catching up on the thread - such a chatty lot you are!

angels - I'm worried about how our 2 cats are going to react to the baby. They are quite pampered and have been my "babies" until now, one is quite clingy and I think she'll be jealous of the baby. We're just going to see how it goes, hopefully it'll sort itself out after a while.

yes, when our cat feels pushed out (like justonemore says it might when baby comes) it tends to act out by doing things it KNOWS it shouldn't (like go into rooms/onto furniture it isn't allowed and trying to ruin various items of furniture etc). I don't want to have a house ripped apart by an annoying cat trying to get attention . Problem is that we are moving just over a month before I'm due so it will be feeling quite unsettled to begin with.

Thanks for all of the advice , really helpful!
Prof, DD is 3, she'll be about 3.9 when the baby comes .

I have no experience of cats but I know that with dogs they say that it can be useful to get a doll and hold it while stroking the dog so that they see it as a good thing. Also, to get a recording of a crying baby and play it so that they get used to the noise. I don't know how easy it would be to get a recording of a crying baby though .

sbf I was worried that i couldnt get signed off but gp beat me to it and actually rang me to say i had to go off. I am quite enjoying it now.Babies room all ready and clothes washed and put away.Went shopping with dh as he is on a late shift and found myself buying flour and eggs instead of cakes and pancakes so it does ave money.I already have the lasagne cooked for tea as it is brownies night so rushed.
wandering I am finding the trick is to do a task then rest for a while then do something else. As for jealousy i never really had it. My boys were 6 and 4 when ds3 came and they loved him.I explained verything to them but forgot about bf so when they came in to hospital anmd i had ds3 on the breast they gave me some funny looks before declaring "Um do all babies do that?"
When dd was born they all came in with me and stayed for the whole day so they are and continue to be besotted with her.
I anticipate more probs with dd this time as she has had alot to cope with,her dad leaving then he is having a baby anyday with the -child-- woman he left us for. She is struggling with identity such as she says the baby will be more related to her than dh and that her dad is the babies step dad etc.
She will be at the hospital when its born and then her and dh are going to do some fun stuff while im in,pick a going home outfit for the baby and go for a posh dinner etc.I will let her sleep up with us too untill she has enough of the baby waking her up haha.

My cats were most aggrieved when DD arrived but now they are tolerant pleased with all the attention she gives them. I think it all depends on the cats, mine are quite laid back and have never scratched or bitten. I think less sociable cats would just avoid a baby or toddler.

Laughing so much at the missfortunes of little miss prof with her older brother! it must have been really scary but sound hilarious, poor kid.

I'm going to confess to being worried also about how our two babies cats will react to the baby. DH yesterday asked if babies have a blink reflex, this might come in handy if the cat reacts badly and tries to scratch, but they are sooo well behaved and sociable I think they'll be jealous for a while but not agressive... I hope.

Must also confess that it was them that first made a hb seem desirable (the idea being that they might instintively recognize what's happening and not think that we've just brought in from the outside world a totaly unrelated being). Of course this does not constitute the basis of me wanting a hb, but it was one of the earliest toughts...
(just as i was saying how good the cats are one of them came and farted right in front of me...)

Evening All - TPT 9.5

Good evening!

Quick question - has your employer acknowledged your request for maternity leave/confirmed the date with you?

angels my cat has turned into a paranoid wreck since DD was born and won't even contemplate being in the same room as her. She no longer likes me either (thinks she must blame me for bringing DD into the world) but dotes on DH. She used to be my 'baby' too but now I really don't like her very much any more - isn't that awful - especially since I've been pg this time, I don't even like touching her any more. What a terrible cat mum I am .

An update on my day - my gp suggested signing me off before I could ask him, and has put on my sick note that I need to be signed back in at the end of next week in order for me to be allowed to go back in. He has prescribed lots of rest. Unfortunately DD had other ideas and took ill at nursery, so we spent the afternoon / early evening at the local walk in clinic and then the emergency doctor. Thankfully her temperature is now under control and she is asleep in her cot. We'll have a lazy day tomorrow snuggled up on the sofa.

prof at your DS carrying DD by her ankles across the room! I can so see that happening here too as DD is such a helpful little soul

PDR nothing back from my employer yet, but they say that they will acknowledge in writing within 14 days of receipt of MATB1 - should be any day now.

i have had my confirmation of leave. I am 27+4. Sticking with work. I thought you may all enjoy an annoying colleague update via my mate. Its moving offices today and she refused to do anything even putting paper in boxes. Everyone is fuming. There is another pg one now(about 10wks)who did the lot as would i have done.I am so glad i am not there and it makes me feel better about being off work too.Why should i struggle in when she does sod all.
I went to pick up dd from school earlier,had arranged to wait half way across the field and wave when i saw her.She came out and i waved and then watched her walk back in!Luckily a friedn sent her ds to get her,she is such a dope.I was worn out just from doing that. Spoke to mw today as she rang with results of anti body tests (all well) she said it does sound very extreme and to see gp again but i found a thread on mn with women who feel the same so not too worried.I realised today that i have 34 wk check in 6 wks,i remember when that was made at my booking in and it seemed a lifetime away.
Hope everyone is ok and enjoying the evening even tho there is nothing on the tv :(

Not interested in Gordon Ramsay's Best Restaurant thing ledkr? Neither am I, actually, but I've got it on in the background and it's better than nothing.

PDR I think mine have acknowledged it but they haven't confirmed the date, although I am thinking that 11th Feb is actually crazily optimistic at the moment but we'll see.

TPT 9.25 not really that much change although as always, I feel big - so big that my clothes are all rubbish so will be doing lots of ebaying this week. No one else bid on smartish black mat dresses, please or you'll get a load of this

Evening all-just checking in for TPT-8.5 sheets....can't remember if that's changed much since I last measured 3 wks ago!! Feel huge too.....can't believe another 12 wks to go....

I put my mat leave form to HR early September...was promised letter detailing benefits. Submitted MATB1 form 2 wks ago.....still waiting on entitlements letter. Why do they drag their heels when they heed to give u info, yet demand info from u Asap?!

Hello all, TPT = 9 on the dotted line...

Laughing at prof's mishaps with an over helpful DS! I too can relate SBF, DD is very much looking forward to helping (we'll see how long it lasts!)

I too have a cat, well he's s Maine Coon & much more like a dog tbh. Not sure what to expect from him, he's still pretty much a kitten. Had a moggy when DD was born (very much my baby) who eventually moved out & re-located to my next door neighbour. I felt v much the neglectful cat mum. Still suited me, him & my neighbour at the time so all good. He's since shuffled off to cat heaven.

I think I'm leaving work at Xmas (last working day 22.12) simply as by the time I return after Xmas it will be virtually 4 weeks before D-day. I remember how tiring that final month was so I'm full of admiration for those of you going on to the end! It will be worth it at the other end for additional time off! I know a few people who have done it. My work is extremely flexible about it all so I'm in no hurry. They advertised for my maternity cover and have had over 40 applicants! Night all :)