December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

I keep getting very upset, usually about things DH says to me or the way he says them. I think I am being over-sensitive probably and it's just hormone related.

Cleaned the top of the kitchen cupboards today, hope this is nesting.

DF how did you get up there? I feel so unstable now I can't see my feet most of the time. I was pretty unbalanced before hand.

I do keep looking at the kickboards and wishing I could clean them, but I don't think I'd get up again from getting down to clean them :)

I do little bits and started a list of things to clean. DH thinks I'm being overdramatic, but it's not like I'm going to defrost the freezer after we have LO.

I'm also preparing a load of books to eBay, feeling really pants about it but need the space, the bookcase is double stacked and these are books I'm not likely to read again. I hate letting books go they are like friends. Bookcase is fitted along the wall of the nursery, nowhere else for it to go. There are tons of books in boxes in the attic, ones I read as a child that I'm keeping for LO.

I used a step ladder, though I have to say when I nipped to the shops later I felt really dizzy so I may have overdone it!

I feel the same as you kellestar about my books, I have loads but just can't get rid of them. I keep passing the bookcase in the spare room and thinking I really should just get rid of them.

Does anyone else have a really itchy scalp?

thanks Cheryl & DF - btw, very impressed with your cleaning the top of the cupboards.

Just to make you all smile, DH asked DD who the lady on the £20 note he had was - she said it was my mum! Can't wait to tell her that DD thinks she is the queen!

Hi all, hope last night was a better night and colds, coughs etc are easing a bit. I was feeling very sorry for myself on Friday night but handed dd to dh to put to bed and went to bed myself. Have been feeling much better since and wondering why I don't do that more often?

kelle sounds like a lovely weekend except for the other guests

df family can be amazingly insensitive and contradictory I find, one minute it's all "don't overdo it" etc the next it's put yourself to massive inconvenience and discomfort etc to fit in with my plans... My MIL thinks I should be taking dd to visit her in Spain this month . I find being noncommittal works best, it's not worth an arguement so just saying mmmm we'll see how it goes and changing the subject works best. In my head I am screaming "you mad old bat, at 7mths when I had dd at 8 months and am hoping to move this month too, oh and am still working full-time. Not bloody likely!"

Anyway, hope this week is not too tough for everyone - this is the home straight now and all that.

Morning all, I have been up since 3.45am! and fell asleep at midnight. Am still signed off with backache which has been getting better since wearing brace. So I was going to go in today, but I'm not because 3 hours sleep is crap.

Have been worrying about money, have just worked out exactly how much money I have spent since getting pregnant.

Stroller, car seat, carrycot ( carrycot was ebay, other stuff Motgercare sale + vouchers),
Cheap baby bouncer
Baby clothes up to 9 months (because we are moving abroad and clothes v.v expensive there) - mostly from ebay or end of summer sales
Cot mattress, cot sheets, grobags and night gowns
Amby nest and mattress and sheets ( Amby ebay, sheets & mattress new)
Pram/cot blankets ( NCT sales)
Sling
Nappies, wipes, muslins, cream for my nipples and baby bum, moisturiser to stop stretch marks, some nappies, nappy bags, breast pads, sanitary towels, vitamins
Primark cheap black towels to bleed on (HB)
Giant postnatal primark granny pants
Pile of books on pg and birth ( most 2nd hand from charity shops)
Baby Lamaze mobile
changemat and baby gym and feeding cushion
(ASDA Direct offers)
Yoga DVD, yoga classes ( classes too expensive so stopped and dvd better anyway)
Pregnancy fitness dvd (exhausting)
swimming passes
Doula ( but she is a trainee so only 200 quid)
Digital ear thermometer
Holo lilo
Endless bloody minging bras that I grow out of in weeks
Pants, tights, leggings, knickers
Maternity wear for spring summer autumn/winter (which I was in by 14 weeks, mostly bought in sales)
Maternity coat (ebay)
New sandals, trainers, boots (since my feet widened and lengthened - ffs, wasn't expecting that)
Swimsuit and exercise wear (since none of my gym kit or sports bras or swim stuff fitted)
Massage treatments for pain and exhaustion

Basically it has been the most expensive 8 months of my life, because I have had to buy almost everything from scratch. I worked out that I have spent 2 months salary since getting pg.

No wonder I am overdrawn, the amazing thing is that I am not more overdrawn. DH has paid my share of the mortgage for the last 4 months, that's why.

I feel bad that I have not been able to pay my share of the mortgage. But I would also feel bad asking him for money to buy maternity and pregnancy related things!

I should have asked him to split the baby items cost though, and paid my share of the mortgage instead. I feel guilty that I have had all the fun of bargain hunting and shopping for baby but he says he's glad he hasn't had to do that - even so, though, I don't feel great about all the cost.

Am so used to paying my way, I feel anxious contemplating him being the main provider when I am off work. Is anyone else feeling anxious about money and not earning ( or not earning very much) as well?

Sorry about long post!

Hey girls,
Hope you guys are feeling better than me... 32 weeks and really heavy, itchy bump that gets oiled every couple of hours to help the itch, no energy at work since I can't get sleep at nights and worst than all, I really really am freaked out about giving birth. Some idiot in NCT class suggested that I should watch birth videos on youtube to get over my fear of giving birth and last night I watched 2-3 videos. I fainted for the first time in my life after the third one and couldn't sleep all night. I have restless leg and hand neuropathy even when I remember the scene.... It is impossible I can go through this or can I???? I am not afraid of the pain but actually the thought of my body opening to that extent freaks me out. I know it is meant to do that but I don't think my body is meant to do it. I just don't think so...

Oh PJen it is able to, honestly. I am just trying to keep in mind that our bodies can do wonderful things and you do get something wonderful at the end. I've watched youtube stuff too, though to be honest I would like to know a bit more about the contractions and transition stage than the birth bit.

I can kinda understand why the NCT would be trying to get rid of fears as I have read that fear can make your body fight against the labour, but I wonder if there really is any way to stop fear? Lots of people have recommended hypnobirthing to me and I really should hunt down some CDs and a book.

maxpower that's so cute about the queen, do you think your num will be pleased

Miffster I am feeling a little anxious about finances though I am planning a mortgage break in April so hopefully we will manage somehow. DH is hoping for a pay rise and my maternity package is quite good as I get 90% for the first 18 weeks! After that I think we will have to just be so careful about what we spend. Infact we will when I go back to work as my childcare costs will be more than half my pay, we plan to split it of course but it's still going to be expensive.

and OMG I too had such a shock when I couldn't zip up my favourite winter boots because my legs are so thick - totally wasn't expecting that at all!

I have a day off today and have so far watched homes under the hammer and then tidied up the garden a bit. I am hoping DH will come home for lunch so I can catch a lift back into town with him as I never seem to get the time to wander about the shops. I want to see if I can pick up a few things for Christmas presents.

anyone else bored, bored bored?

all I want to do is sleep or potter around at home - I have no interest in doing anything!! Only 31 weeks + 3 days and dont start mat leave until 1 Dec!!!

I need time to fast forward!!!

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling really grumpy today, hormone induced bad mood I think. Had the best night's sleep I've had in ages last night, so I can't balme that. Really can't be bothered with work and I can't believe I've got another 9 weeks of it to go....

PJen if it's any consolation, I work in a role where I come into contact with loads of birth horror stories. When I was expecting DD, we went to the parentcraft classes. One week they went through all the interventions used in birth and I was totally flippant about it all (mainly because I know all about them from my work). The next week they did what happens with a 'normal' birth - I have never been so freaked out in my life!! I physically had to stop myself bursting into tears with the thought of it. I was just saying over and over to myself, I can't do that, I can't do that. TBH I think there's got to be something wrong if you aren't scared - after all, for first timers, it's a complete fear of the unknown. But you know what, you will survive it. It's actually much better once things start happening because you stop worrying about how painful it'll be etc etc and concentrate on what's actually going on. This time round, I know how painful contractions are, I know how devastating it is when things don't go to 'plan', I know how horrible my recovery was but importantly, I know I got through it all and I have a fab DD to show for it. And I'll hang on to that to get through it this time. Remember, there's a fair few 2nd, 3rd and even 4th timers on this thread!

DF I think she'll like the regal undertone but I'm not sure she'll be quite so flattered from an age perspective

Hi all just got back from having my anti-D injection Owwww! In the words of DS it very hurted

C&G to be honest I feel none the wiser about how big the baby is after the scan, I think it's safe to assume I won't need any/many newborn size clothes. I thought 93rd centile would be pretty big but the consultant said that I am quite tall so it's not, but I am 5'3ish so not that tall IMO!
I am interested to hear what they say next week about my fluid levels, when I get blood results back.
Do you have to buy your own lucazade for the GTT? I do, they have changed policy apparently, I can have it at home though not the hospital which I am pleased about.

Kelle sorry you had inconsiderate people ruining your weekend, and hooray for shopping!

DF am impressed you have cleaned your cupboard tops, I want to do mine now. I have cleaned kickboards though kelle I thought baby was breech so spent a day on hands and knees cleaning floors etc only to find wasn't breech after all!

miffster sorry you are worrying about money. I don't see why you should feel bad asking your DH to help with the cost of pg related things, I'm sure he didn't mind doing his bit to create the pregnancy!
Apart from the last two years I have been a SAHM since I got pg with DD now 10, so DH has paid for everything and I have never once felt guilty as I know we both wanted one parent to be at home with the children, and although money was very tight in the early days (he was on just under £11,000 a year at first)we have always muddled through.

PJen Poor you, please don't worry about the birth. I was worried when I was pg with DD, I was 18 doing a childcare course in college and we had to watch a video of a birth and everyone else in the class was watching my horrified expression. Your body just takes over, and as DF says it is a positive experience as you are getting a wonderful scrunchy baby at the end. I would definately try the natal hypnotherapy CD's.

DF Good luck with Christmas shopping, I am trying to do most of mine online.

Has anyone measured their waist (if you can call it a waist anymore!) I am 31 weeks and measure 41inches around my middle and it feels like I've gained another inch over night!

Hi all,

miffster - I think money worries are totally normal at this stage, and much better to be worrying about than blindly carrying on as though nothing has changed. If you don't like the current system, why not shift things around so that you don't feel like either you're shouldering too much of the baby costs or that you're shirking the mortgage costs. We have a joint account for all joint costs, which includes the mortgage and baby stuff - what we need to do while I'm on ML is change the amount we each contribute so that it stays "fair". (We both put in the same proportion - as my income drops, he'll put in more, I'll put in less). Just an idea, but it sounds like you're not 100% comfortable with the way things are arranged at the moment.

I'm doing no Christmas shopping at all - as far as I'm concerned, delivery of a cousin/neicephew/grandchild/child is a very generous present . (OK, so I may relent, but it will all be done online).

PJen I had the same panic a few days ago - I've blocked it out of my mind for the moment but I think I will try the natal hypnotherapy CDs. I'm not sure I want to see any videos of it though, as I think they'll scare me more than prepare me.

Had a productive weekend - visit to an NCT nearly new sale and picked up lots of things - baby seat, blankets, some clothes, bath stuff etc - all sooooooo cheap and totally put me off buying anything new except where H&S is an issue. Slightly kicking myself that we stepped away from the £70 Quinny Buzz jogger and carrycot. The couple behind us were in there like a shot after us, so we only had an instance to make a decision. Also went round to my SILs and raided their attic - clothes a-plenty in both flavours, and a highchair and moses basket. So many clothes (four bin bags worth!), in fact, we need to sort them into blues and pinks and neutrals and then by age!

notso - I had my Anti-D jab recently too, and was v surprised it didn't hurt at all, as I was told that its v painful. My lovely MW said its all down to warming up the serum first, which she did by carrying it round in her pocket for ten minutes first, and by injecting it really slowly. Apparently if its cold and straight out of the fridge, it hurts a lot more. Hopefully that might help for next time???

Hey all, went to an NCT sale yesterday (I worked there too) and got some fab bargins and now have everything ready for when LO arrives.

7 weeks left scary scary shit!!

Hey all. Went to HB support group today and it was really good. I liked both the midwives and they were able to answer some of my questions.

Interestingly, they didn't seem fussed about the Group B Strep, saying even if I test positive at 36 weeks actually there isn't necessarily a need for IV antibiotics unlessyou have another risk factor - e.g. high temperature or waters going early. However, they did say the hospital protocols were different to this. It's all a bit confusing but I am feeling quite enthusiastic and excited about HB again now.

Pjen and WWSB and anyone else having a panic, don't worry. I think it is totally normal. I remember my friend freaking out when she was pg with DC2 even though she'd done it before. I definitely remember thinking, even at the end when the head was out 'well this is not possible' because it just seemed to unlikely that this big, hard baby was going to exit from my vagina. But the brilliant thing is the second they come out, all the pain is gone. DD was delivered onto me and it was the most magical, amazing feeling and made everything worth it. In fact every time I get upset because I'm sore or knackered I just think about that moment and all the brilliant things over the past 2 1/2 years since DD was born and I know that is why I'm doing it all again. I can honestly, hand on heart, say even at it's most trying, there is not a day since I became a parent that I haven't smiled or laughed or had a moment of wonder because of DD.

Miffster and anyone else worried about money. It's tough isn't it? I am a bit worried as well - we can afford my mat leave through a generous mortgage break scheme (get up to 6 months) but I am concerned about childcare costs. However, I was also worried with DD and it was fine.

kelle sorry your SPD is still bad. Hope you're managing to get some rest.

DF I shudder to think when the last time the tops of our cupboards were cleaned...

93pjb glad your DH is picking up some slack. I am shamelessly stealing the vast majority of the lie-ins in our house at the moment, but DH knows how much I appreciate him and it isn't forever.

notso poor you on the anti-D injection.

lavita I haven't measured myself it must be said! I have got on the scales and after stacking it on in 2nd trimester it has definitely dropped off, so I'm not too worried.

Time seems to be going quite oddly here - one minute I feel like 'Spanishlady and that this pg is crawling by, then like OWO* and there are only a few weeks left.

got my

moby sling
play mat (which us super squichy) Lotty lady bird
feeding bras
nappies
cotton wool
top and tail bowls x 2
change matts x 3
changing bag
cot
moses basket
moses basket sheets x4
blankets
car seat
bugaboo
loads of clothes (all sleep suits and vests newborn and 0-3)
nipple shields
muslins
dummy
loads of food in freezer all cooked and waiting
bumbo (and tray) - £10 at NCT bargin!!
high chair (lovely wooden east coast one from DD)
lots of different types of sanitary products for me
breast pads

and bouncy chair

Im starting to pack my hospital bag :-) sooo excited! and i keep writing lists, I love lists! I feel the need to buy things too...argh

Oh you girls are very sweet! I do try to remember the reward at the end and really wish I could fast forward the time to a day after baby is born... I have read a hypno birth book that my NCT teacher (she is great) suggested but is not cutting it for me... I don't know why but I can't believe the claims...

at Mifster and OWO at the long lists :) Although I must confess that I do have the most items too.

DF I am not worried about contractions on the contrary... I don't care about pain I really freak out about something that big coming out of my you-know-what!

notso auch! I hope this was the last injection or do you have to get more?

Lavita at least you are expecting two... I put on 5 lbs only on this weekend. I keep on going on scale to see if it comes back down since I can't get how I put on 5 lbs over night but I did!!! I have no edema or puffing going on.. I think I am growing a baby giant... She is moving now in protest that I called her a giant! I wish she was in my arms instead of my belly....

Where is the fast forward button??

Thanks all for the injection sympathy, I am of your lovely midwife WWSB, you would think I'd be used to them by now as have been injecting clexane daily since 15 weeks!
Hopefully that will be it PJen but they will test the baby's blood after birth to check.

Am also of bargainous NCT sales, NCT is non existant in my area.

Just been making a list of what I still need to get, there seems like loads even though my wardrobe is already groaning with babystuff!

OWO I have a Bugaboo question if you don't mind, do you use sheets in the carry cot or just the fleecy cover thing, if so are there any ones that fit better?

Lavita haven't dared measured my waist, thankfully I have still only put 2lb on.

PJen - sounds like you could benefit from some one-on-one hypnotherapy work or CDs at least.

kellestar - sorry you're struggling with SPD pain. If you don't like taking the solpadol often, ask your GP to give you plain codeine on prescription and then get panadol. That way, if you're in pain, you can take a panadol and have the codeine as back-up instead of having the all or nothing of solpadol. You'll probably find that you can control your pain better that way (pain meds work best if you don't wait until you're in agony to take them) without taking more codeine.

Miffster - presumably you and your OH will be splitting the costs of having a child, so why aren't you splitting the costs of pregnancy?

We've spent £1300 on stuff from my "list" (excel spreadsheet ) and have nearly £500 of stuff left to get. That doesn't include maternity clothes, body butter/creams and some baby bits I got early on though. I'm quite impressed that we managed to get it down to £1800 though as when I first drew up the list it was nearly £3000!

I haven't worked f/t in years because of being sick and then us choosing for me to work (unpaid) in the 3rd sector. So generally DH's salary/bonus pays for everything. Though I did manage to save the baby money when I was working p/t & paid for a while last year!

Big nursery day today - my Mum and Dad are here to help with DIY and Mum has started painting! My glider chair has also turned up - a surprise present from my MIL. I really want to get it out but we're packed with baby furniture and boxes while the nursery gets painted.

I dragged DH out shopping for Christmas presents on Saturday (first time I've got him out for it in years!) but it didn't go great as I got faint so we had to come home. Got me some slip-on flats though so I don't have to bend to put my shoes on!

notso because i used the bugaboo in cot mode down stairs during the day and used it daily for 6 months in that mode, we used cot sheets, blankets, fitted crib sheets (pillow cases too!!) because DD would dribble or be sick etc and then you make your self tons of washing / drying if sticking to jut the bigaboo fleecy cover - I plan to use some lovely soft flanlette pillow cases this time :) hth

Miffster I agree with WWSB it's what we have done. We've been lucky to have such good jobs that we've been spending some money from savings [carpet and sofa money was our wedding present money from 3 years ago that has been sat in an account waiting for us to finish the DIY], the joint account works for us, and we feel it fair that all joint costs come out of it, including all baby and maternity gear. I do feel a little guilty about my decrease of income, but feel that paying someone to have fun with my LO just seems a bit daft, if we can afford it. DH works for his family business, there is the possibility [and at the moment I offer my services free of charge] of working part-time.

I was reading an article on the average spend on a baby in the first year was £18,000 which almost floored me. They counted everything from pregnancy tests to vitamins and all pregnancy and baby paraphanalia and groups. Cripes. How to put people off having babies. I think so many people surveyed must have not bought anything second hand.

Went for my 31 week check up with midwife this morning, they had a delivery come in, so was waiting for an hour or so, then when I was seen I mentioned about the change in movements, considering we spoke two weeks ago and in my notes she wrote movements changed, she went into panic mode and I was put on a monitor for 40 minutes. DH went off for his haircut. It was quite cool to hear the heartbeat, kicks and movement. Nothing abnormal. They think LO is head down and facing my back. Still measuring up large. Will see what the scan brings end of the week.

Lavita I am 42" around my middle now, LO's bum seems to be over my navel area, and if it's anything like me it's got a generous one.

I love lists and really started to get into them, my iPod touch is full of them. DH is going insane with it. I'm also a big fan of excel, the gals in the office are always amazed at how beautiful my spreadsheets look. I had an epic one for my wedding, I plan on updating the LO's spreadsheet soon.

We are also sadly lacking in NCT in our area. I was excited to hear that the local group use the hall at the end of our road for their antenatal groups, but no interest meant the only one for Oct/Nov/Dec deliveries was central bristol and the 10pm finish and 30-45 minute drive didn't appeal to me. No recent nearly new sales in the area, but I am hoping that the Shambles Giant Jumble at the B&W showground is on this half term. They cancelled the May one because of lack of helpers.

Hey kellestar - more info on the Shambles Giant Jumble please, if that's possible. Driving to my parents at half term and can detour via the B&W showground if there are bargains to be had.

£18,000???? On what? I'm ! So far I think we've spent £200... Like the advice I got for the first time I moved into an unfurnished house - beg, borrow and steal what you can, because you'll only waste money if you don't. LO won't even notice its in hand-me-downs till its in its teens, so there is just no point in buying new! (Mind you, DH did buy the Christmas pudding shaped woolly hat in M&Ps... thereby jinxing me to be two weeks late)

OWO - my bumbo was only £8 but no tray on mine, so yours is probably a better bargain.

Trying not to be paranoid this morning that I haven't felt any kicks. Come on LO, wakey wakey!!