December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

Hi Japhrimel,
I know it doesn't sound like a long way away - 6 miles does not sound a long way away, but it is a long way for me because it will take a long time to travel there. Maybe you are out of London and don't have to get through heavy traffic to reach your hospital? Hope so.

It is 35+ minutes and 20 quid in a cab for me every time, it is an hour on the bus, every time I go to that hospital. We do not drive, we do not have a car. The traffic is very bad, all day, all night, there are lots of lights, the route is not straightforward, it is just a long way and it really makes no sense to have to go there when the other hospital is so close and so easy to reach.

It also has a bad rep for inductions and BF and in fact a baby died there recently because it uses induction drugs meant for abortions which cause fast, painful cramps and the mw was negligent and did not monitor the baby! The local NCT is complaining about the use of the induction drug there.

It is just not somewhere I am remotely comfortable being transferred to. But because of the post code I have no choice about it if I transfer to hospital from a HB.

The other hospital is a ten minute cab ride and 20 minutes on the bus. It has a good rep for BF support and minimal caesarean/inductions policy: it even offers free acupuncture to get labour going.

I'm really working myself up into a state about this, and I am sorry for coming on here and venting about it all morning.

HI MIffster, don't be sorry, better not to bottle it all up. NO disrespect to your DH, but it might help to have a doula as well as she will be experienced and comfortable in a birth situation whereas he is bound to be anxious in some way, It really helps to talk to someone who really understands.

Sounds to me you would never be happy going to hospital#1 (Homerton) so better carry on with moving your care to hosp#2. If you do decide on a HB, and have a doula, it maybe more reassuring to know she and your DH will advocate for you in the event of transfer, they can take on the burden of fighting the system and making sure your care is what you want either way. If you are t/f you should get an ambulance, no? Would the Supervisor of MIdwives at Hosp#2 be able to pull some strings in the face of bureaucracy gone mad?

Hi Miffster, I do get it about London traffic - and our hospital is in central Reading (horrendous traffic) and along the M4 from us (can be major delays).

Have you asked your MW what the blue-light transfer times are? They're usually far less than driving yourself or getting a cab as you run red lights, etc.

If you're not happy going there under any circs, you have the choice of either not having a home birth or hiring an independent MW.

You could try asking if your MW would book you in for both hospitals. It's not really allowed but I know my MW was happy to do that for a while at least when I couldn't make up my mind. Not sure you could keep that going till birth though.

PCT boundaries really confuse people in London as they're all so close anyway, but that's just the way the NHS is set up. If you want the NHS to supply CMWs for a home birth, that will be paid for by whatever PCT you live in, so care will be linked to the PCT hospital.

In a real emergency, an ambulance will take you to the nearest hospital, but if you don't get to stay home for some reason, or want to transfer for other reasons (pain relief, slow labour) then of course you go to the hospital you're booked in with.

As I see it, you've got 3 choices (if your MW won't bend/break the rules to book you into 2 places):

1, stay booked in for a home birth with Homerton as back-up (with or without doula).

2, book into the Whittingdon MLU.

3, book into the Whittingdon and hire an independent MW for a home birth.

HI

Miffster- sorry you're feeling so worried about the birth, by what you've said I would continue changing to the Whittington, sounds far better and I certainly wouldn't want to be 6 miles away from a hospital, esp when you've got a better one 2 miles away.

My main worry is that now 2 of the birthing centres have closed until after new year (neither affect me as they're miles away) to cover the local 'baby boom' and I'm worried that it will have a knock on effect for HB. I'm about a 5min drive from the hospital & one birthing centre and the other MLU is a 10-30min drive depending on traffic. My main worry (that I'll be speaking to mw next week about) is that I'll be in labour and there's no community mw available as there are too many others in labour.

WLL - I'm with you on being bored. Now ds2 is finally at school full time I'm twiddling my thumbs with boredom. Getting a job not an option as 1. no-one would take me and 2. can't until dp is working. DP, bless him, is going out of his mind. Having worked constantly since leaving school he's climbing the walls.

Good advice in your last paragraph. I remember reading something very similar when I had ds1. My skirting boards & kitchen floor are spotless come to the end of my pregnancies where I'm on all 4s making sure baby is in right position.

Hi everyone

Haven't posted in a while - went on holiday for a week and have spent nearly 2 weeks catching up on the work I missed .

Japhrimel - I'm booked in to have my first DD in Dec at the Royal Berks. Have you given birth there before? Have you been for a tour? I don't know much about it apart from two short trips there for scans.

Interested that so many people are having Strep B test - is this compulsory? I was under the impression you had to ask for it specifically (which I intend to do). Does the midwife or GP do the test?

Hello all,

Sorry to hear about all of the stresses with work. Just what you don't need at this point in time.

Miffster hope you get the postcode lottery figured out. You do have the right to choose where you give birth so although it isn't what the midwives would like you could book with the Whittington and then just phone homerton say you're in labour, having a home birth, please send someone. It would probably still leave you with a transfer to the homerton if it came to that but chances are that it wouldn't. Have you tried posting on the homebirth forum that the lady who runs homebirth.org.uk runs? I think it is a yahoo group, you'll get a lot of support there.

I can't remember who recommended buddha bellies but thanks - it is great - I've done it a few times this week and it has done wonders for my back and pelvis.

Had 28 week appt with mw today - measuring small as I expected (24wks). Was booked in for a growth scan anyway due to previous iugr baby. Mw said it looks like it might be the same as last time so possibly induction at 37wks. Obstetrician appt next Friday so will know more then.

93pjb - If you haven't booked for a home birth, you would have to wait until it's too late to transfer to tell the hospital and they could still send an ambulance not a MW. Although anyone has the right to stay at home, the NHS does not have to supply you with a MW at home.

MrsChris - I haven't had a baby at RBH (yet - or hopefully not!). Just done quite a bit of research. I haven't done a tour yet though...was going to do one just in case and must call up Monday as apparently there's quite a wait for tours!

RBH generally have up-to-date policies which I like. E.g. induction is suggested at 42 weeks (not 40+10 like North Hants) and they're bringing in an official baby-friendly policy, which means, among other things, that formula will never be offered except in cases of real medical necessity.

The website has lots of info btw: www.royalberkshire.nhs.uk/wards__departments/m/maternity/patient_information_leaflets.aspx

Are you hoping to use the MLU (Marsh Ward)?

Miffster That's a difficult position to be in with the 2 hospitals, it seems ridiculous in this day and age that the hospitals are still basing these decisions on postcodes as opposed to logic - this is why we end up wasting so much money in the NHS sometimes. It seems to me more logical to have a catchment area based on proxinity not postcode. I understand how you feel - the hospital in Portsmouth is lovely, I am not keen on staying up here and delivering at Watford although I did hear some positive things today from one of the other Mum's in my DD school.

MrsChris Glad you had a nice holiday - welcome back

Lavitabellissima Ouch ear infections can be really painful, I hope the antibiotics are working and you start to feel better soon.

Wholelotta I can empathise with the being bored thing - being off work sick for the past 2 days I am glad I brought work home with me to do in the mornings when Dd is at school. DH spent the morning doing the ironing as it was raining and he couldn't work on the Landrovers - I admit I could have sat and watched daytime telly but I managed to get 2 work projects cracked which needed to be done before maternity leave. I will be in work for 3 days next week then taking 2 days to work at home again so hopefully will get more done. The only weird thing - if I am going to work from home I need to have a H&S risk assessment done on the house!!! Mmm ok so house is fit for me to live in but may not be suitable for work when most of my job is computer based - so if we don't pass the h&S assessment are they saying we can't use our own computer ?! Madness and a complete watse of someones time in my opinion.

DF Just think your DH will probably have a hangover as well as being woken by your call - reasons enough to feel slightly sorry for him Men are never good when they feel "ill"

C&G Woohoo about feeling good today! Hope you enjoyed it!

DD is clearly "noticing" Mummy being away so much now, she has become really cheeky and naughty compared to her normal behaviour - she is also waking in the early hous of the morning and not wanting to go back to sleep. She lost all her TV privileges this afternoon and has only been allowed a DVD for 1/2 an hour now because she did really well with her dinner. Unfortunately with the sleep thing she only ever wakes me not DH - when I am not there if she wakes in the night she just gets into bed with him whereas I wake up everytime she gets up Last night she woke at 0430 and didn't go back to sleep, she was up 3 times the night before as well.

Had a small financial crisis here so can't make tomorrow meet up in Chelsea - a bit of miscommunication on DH part about the car insurance! I knew they were changing the payment amount but not the date as well! Sorry about that but it has left us a bit short until payday

Getting lots of movement and kicks which is mostly ok - a few are painful. Pelvic pain is better at home as I seem to move around more and it is easier taking my painkillers as I don't have to be on top form all the time! DH enjoying me being back as it means he gets proper meals at night not just the ready meals he does for himself!

Better dash as time for Mummy and daughter bath time - it's getting a bit tight for us both now but it is our quality time together. I suppose I'll end up doing dolly's bath as well tonight as it's Friday night so she gets to play for longer!

Hope you all have a good Friday evening!

Mrs S

Japhrimel - I'm feeling woefully ignorant about the whole thing and haven't really done much research (apart from watching a crap DVD about the RBH maternity unit which told me....NOTHING!). I have just assumed all along that as a first-timer with no desire for a home birth that the RBH would be the best place to have DD. What's the benefit of using the MLU?

My birth plan consists of: get the baby out in the quickest and safest way. Whether that includes drugs, intervention or C-section. I have friends who have had their hearts set on a natural birth (or at least one not in a medical environment) and most of them have ended up very disappointed when things did not go to plan. As a result I'm trying to be as open minded as possible. Everyone else has such set ideas about how they want their labours to go, that I now just feel a bit naive and unprepared! Maybe the stork will bring the baby

MrsChris - your birth plan sounds exactly the same as my 1st one was. IMO, by far the best way.

Marsh Ward is low risk only, Iffley Ward is really for if you are high risk.

I think Marsh Ward is also supposed to be nicer and less clinical (that being one of the usual benefits of a MLU). It has "home like" birthing rooms so you can be private and move around more, instead of being on the main delivery suite.

As its in the RBH, it doesn't make much of a difference to anything else.

I'm not set on anything, but I like to be prepared and have an understanding on what might/will happen.

mrschris & Cheryl Mine is pretty similar, the addition I have is skin to skin asap, DH to be with LO if need be, breastfeed asap. I really don't care how it arrives, whatever is best and safest. I've looked at lots of options and have read up as much as I can [and DH]. A few friends and SiL had all planned on HB or MLU and didn't look at other options at all, they had long painful labours and ended up in the big hospital with drugs and then emergency c-sections, they do naught but go on about their horrific experiences but then don't understand why I'm staying open minded. Oh well.

Just back from Ikea, we've ordered our new sofa. Isn't being delivered until 2nd November! But bought me some lush new cushions to keep me happy until the sofa arrives

Evening. Yesterday must have been a day for tears - I had a massive row with DH an hour before my mw appt. Major blubbing then rapidly trying to make myself look presentable for the mw. Anyway, it all cleared the air between us.

All this talk of hospitals - the hospital trust I'm booked with comprises 3 hospitals all with maternity services. BUT they've just announced they're closing the maternity unit which is geographically closest to me on 30 Nov. I'm not booked with them but it'll have the knock on effect of more women going to my hospital. Coupled with that, my hospital's maternity unit is being refurbished so they won't have any of the maternity theatres open and half of SCBU will be shut. So now, on top of the huge fear of not going into spontaneous labour and ending up having to have another section, and hoping that I don't go overdue as DD is due to start school 6 days after my due date, if things don't go to 'plan' I run the risk of ending up in a hospital nowhere near where I live, without any of my group practice midwives, because of the closures. Aarrgghh!

Everything good with the midwife yesterday though. She sid how strong the baby's heart was - we heard it so clearly. It was nice as she had a successful vbac herself and was really positive about it so I'm kind of hoping she's on duty when baby arrives as I'd like to hyave her with me.

93pjb What's buddha bellies? How are you feeling about the growth scan and possible small baby? Sorry to hear you're having problems.

MrsS Thanks, been a little up and down with the kids, driving me crazy!! kicks are really quite painful for me now, feels very boney!

MrsC You sound brave, obviously I want a healthy baby but anything that involves cutting, needles, intervention etc scares the hell out of me, I can barely stand blood tests and am so scared that something will go wrong this time. I didn't have any intervention or tearing etc after my previous three births that I feel my luck may have run out. Epidurals and c-sections are my worst nightmares if I'm honest and I spend a while worrying about it all.

Kellestar I love Ikea, bought a few new things for the house there a couple of months ago, so easy to get caught up with all the little bits and bobs they sell there too though.

maxpower glad the air was cleared between you and dh, hope you're feeling ok now. My maternity hospital is building a new extension which starts in Nov/Dec lol, means a longer way into it when I need to go in, I have visions of giving birth in the car or in the hallway of the hospital! Glad the midwife appointment went well.

SAme here with the cutting and intervention. Everything I have read says that cutting is not always needed and that pethadine can effect breastfeeding so I am really hoping not to have either, infact I will be saying no to pethadine completely. Am open minded about an epidural but hoping not to have one.

I also don't want my waters broken for me or an induction so will be asking for monitoring if I go 10 days over.

hi all just thought id pop by say hi introduce myself as this is my first ever post!!!! Already have one child and found out 3 weeks ago im expecting again so just imagine my shock when i went for my scan today expecing about 18 weeks from what doc says to find out im 26 weeks and due 30th dec!!!!!!!!!!!! Found out im having a little girl too which is exciting as have a boy already.

Had a very difficult birth with my first has failed foreceps then emergency section after 53 hours in full labour. Then finding out he had a cleft palete. So as you can guess im very very anxious.

DuelingFanjo i was very much against having pethadine with my first but after reaching pure exhustion i welcomed it and can say did me wonders as it gave me a half hour break to sleep which really helped.

Hi Gem and congratulations - how exciting to find out like that!

I am sure your second will be different, they usually are, so try not to be so anxious, I know you can't help it though! Did your scan reassure you about the cleft palate?

I am on to #4 and know I will get a bit panicky so I am doing hypnotherapy tapes and reflexology.

I am up so late as have just finished painting my sodding bedroom which we have had to move into to make room for baby, I am shattered. We also went to IKEA this week to get some bedroom furniture so FINALLY get to start nesting properly and getting baby stuff ready.

hi guys - you've all been busy again :)
been up since 4.30am! I'm sat downstairs with my laptop and can hear DH's snoring through the ceiling df did the mouth guard work? I woke DH up by screaming at him to just get out the room last night, which seemed reasonable at the time but must have been pretty alarming for him!

Anyway, had my first Parents to be class yesterday at the Children's centre, I'm not sure why but it put me in a really awful mood, i've been over different bits in my head to try and work out if something upset me or if it was just more hormones and I can't pinpoint anything. My midwife was giving the session and I find her a bit negative so maybe that was it. maxpower i always manage to argue with my DH before or after any kind of appointments I think it's because i get really stressed out about them and take it out on him :) poor DH!

Good things about the session were that DH was pretty good at the massage and he seemed to learn quite a bit (as he had hardly done any reading up at all)

So, maybe a dim question but are you meant to have your particular mw at the birth or is it just whoever is on duty? Despite not really bonding with mine she certainly seems to know what she's talking about and I'm getting used to her now.

Last week at yoga we all had to say what was scaring us most and (like df, button and hettiew) mine is going into labour over Christmas bank holiday and there being no staff, but one woman said that she knew her baby had to have an operation as soon as it was born and so she was worried about that and that really put my vague worries in to perspective.

Thinking of all of you who are in pain or who have worries about your jobs, i'm public sector too - and can see privitisation coming so there is definitely going to be hard times ahead :(

Anyway, on that cheery note, at least its the weekend, I'm off to see my nan today then out for my brother's bdy tonight, i hope he likes his random present as I seem to have made a cushion for a 32year old man - I blame the nesting

Kitty - you will get whichever mw is on duty at the time I'm afraid. TBH, it's not been a concern for me as it's a mw and you don't really care as long as baby gets out safely.

I'm half expecting my mw to be on holiday over my edd, 1st mw I saw at 39+ appt, which was her last as comm mw, she was moving to child protection (I think) so wasn't about on due date. 2nd time my mw went on holiday on my due date, but as I was overdue I did get to see her when she was back and she did my sweep. Although she wasn't on duty when I had ds2, she came on duty a couple of hours later.

I'm with you C&G & DF about not wanting any intervention, hence the HB, but at the same time if it's what's needed,then I'm all for it. I've never really had a birth plan, won't be having one this time,just plan to 'go with the flow'.

Kellestar- have heard similar stories so often. At my parentcraft classes with ds1 everyone sat there saying they wanted natural birth, G&A & Pethidine only,no intervention etc. It got to me, I said I wanted all the pain relief in the world & when the time came I didn't really care how it got out (only thing I was adamant about was no pethidine)! We had a 'reunion' a few months later. Of the people who turned up, I was the only one who had no intervention & no pain relief!

I'm feeling really shit today. My chest started hurting last night and in quite a bit of pain now with it. It feels like the start of an asthma attack, but no wheeziness yet so inhaler no use. My asthma went when I had ds1,only came back when I fell pregnant this time (another reason why itmay be a girl) so it's been a very long time since I've had an attack.

Welcome gemhandley sorry to hear about your difficult birth experience. Did the Pethadine make you feel sick at all?

No, kitty the mouthguard didn't really work It made the snoring less noisy I suppose, as in he changed from big long lawnmower sounds to little infrequent snorting but he is still just as annoying and is in the spare bedroom right now. He thinks I should wear earplugs but they never work for me and I can still hear him.

I have done the screaming thing, plus throwing things at the door - our bedroom door while he is in the spare room because I can still hear him from where I am. The spare room is becoming the baby's room so once the baby moves in there full time I don't know what we will do .

at the cushion.

cheryl sorry to hear about the asthma. I had a dream last night where I had a massive argument with someone who wouldn't accept that I needed to stop and rest because of the breathlessness. Are you able to get something from the gp incase it's the asthma returning?

I am off to Mamas and Papas today with my mum then seeing my lovely SIL tomorrow.

KittyBump - as Cheryl said you get whoever is on duty.

I get quite adamant when people ask if I'm set on HB or describe me as such - e.g. at our NCT group last week a Dad-to-be came up and asked "are you the couple set on a home birth" and I was like "NO! We're just hoping for one".

Our birth plan covers everything from natural HWB with maybe G&A (what I'd like if possible) to my preferences/needs if I need an EMCS.

I know from the group that a lot of people are scared to look into interventions, etc but personally, I'd find it more scary to need something or have something suggested and have no clue what the MW/doctor was talking about. Maybe it's because I've had a lot of dealings with medical professionals over the years, but I just prefer to be knowledgeable about medical stuff.

I'm getting really grumpy with the lack of sleep. Luckily my DH doesn't snore every night but he stills gets me screaming at him for moving/kicking me/just being asleep when I can't sleep. Baby seems to think that 4am is a great time to try and kick her way out of me. And our poor dog thinks that when I wake up it must be morning so he keeps on asking for brekkie at 4am too and then being shouted at.

NCT nearly new sale this morning...if DH gets back in time to get there early!

I am definitely researching all interventions. I have a work mate who is 2 weeks behind me and she's not at all interested in knowing what might happen which I think is strange. I wouldn't have any kind of other medical treatment without knowing what might happen.

Have added a new bump photo to my profile. It's odd, every time I weigh myself I am 12st 3.5 lbs or 12 st 6 lbs depending on the time of day. My weight doesn;t seem to go up at all!Have read though that I can expect to put on up to another 11 lbs in the next 11 - 13 weeks though!

welcome gem sorry to hear about your last birth experience - what sort of delivery are you hoping for this time round?

kitty at the cushion

Had a good night's sleep last night for a change - might have been something to do with the fact that DH is on nights this weekend so I had the bed to myself.

Had a really nice day with DD today, hope she keeps it up tomorrow as well.

Welcome gem and congratulations on your pregnancy. Must be good in some ways to be able to 'fast forward' some of the pregnancy!

Sorry for those of you whose partners are snoring. I get really cross with DH when he snores but luckily it isn't too frequently and if I poke him and tell him to roll over it usually stops.

I had a massive three hour nap this afternoon - part of it DD was asleep and rest of the time DH had her. Then woke up feeling very 'nesty' and DH and I cleaned the living room (well I more directed and did manage some hoovering). He even did the windows, bless him. DD 'helped' too and we were stopping to chat and play with toys so actually all three of us had a nice time.

I am feeling really homey and have even been looking on threads about baking bread. I don't have a breadmaker, but have this urge to make a loaf of bread from scratch. I am definitely blaming the pg hormones for that one!

max DD has been really sweet and lovely today too and no tantrums at all. It makes such a difference. Or maybe I've been in a better mood, not sure.

Did you get anything at the NCT sale japhrimel ?

cheryl sorry you're feeling rough, hope things have eased off for you.

kitty sorry your parents class put you in a bad mood. Maybe it's the reality of everything hitting?

DF I weighed myself this morning and 11 st 5 now so have put on 23 lbs so far. I can't believe there's another 10 pounds to go on at least!

Having just moaned about my weight gain, I've isolated the main culprit of my heartburn which is, tragically, chocolate. I am gutted.

hi all and welcome gem just popped on after work to catch up. Im definitely going to get a move on starting thinking about my birth plan and researching drugs and interventions etc as my midwife hinted I should get a move on with it.

Whats everyone planning on packing in their hospital bag? Im thinking just a few babygrows vests nappies etc, hat and snow suit for travelling home, towel, spare nightie, travelling home clothes and snacks like nutrigrain bars etc for when Im starved...

Im also considering starting my maternity leave a bit earlier than planned (original date was 4th Nov and Im due 1st December) due to the fact that I work in a fairly busy bar and I was left to lock up tonight which I dont normally mind...but received aggro from a drunk regular and then had to ask someone to leave who was fighting...not the best position to be in when Im the size of a walrus! Beginning to think it really isnt worth the risk although I do want as long as possible off with the baby?!