December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

WLL yes public sector funded anyway. All doom and gloom. Think am really so so lucky to have amazing baby on the way, is definatly the light at the end of my tunnel right now. Could make the SAHM/back2work issue very easy (if only could afford it, sob)

Yes lower back pain Miffster, sucks. Doing the whole holding onto things when getting up from sitting or out the car too; mines with exaggerated huff and puff breathing.. dh already fed up with it! He is getting better with the back rubs though :) I'm looking forward to a pg massage soon when i find a good one round here.

Oh well can't sleep so up having a cup of tea and looking at some of the "discussions" that seem to go on here in the early hours of the morning! Hope you are all tucked up sleeping soundly in your beds

At least on a proper computer I can catch up better than on the iphone!

Well DH and I had a long chat last night when I got back, plan to submit complaint today to try and get some sort of response as it's clear we can't carry on like this. Going to request we extend here so we can at least plan antenatal care etc although it will mean a change of care again back up to here Much prefer the care I have been receiving darn sarf but doesn't look as if I have a choice! I will then have to get work to look at remote working from home for next month and then I think I will just have to take leave. Not ideal and not in my "birth plan" but I don't see we have any choice now.

I'm sorry for all those at risk of redundancy - please check on the employment law section as I am sure women on maternity leave have some protected rights but not sure what they are - please make sure you know whatthey can and can't offer you especially if you are the main breadwinner.

I have had my pain killers increased to cover my PGP - Dr was clear that there was no risk to baby at moment with suppression of breathing but I think I will only take them if I absolutely have to just in case. Being home makes pain management easier - even simple things like beng able to stretch out on the sofa or have a bath/shower in my own house.

I am going to plan to write a list of things we still need for next payday as hubby is talking about new tyres for the Landrover as well as other money he has already "allocated" out for next month! For some reason I have come home and found a "new" Landrover on the drive - he has acquired it off a neighbour who is moving to the States for 3 years with work - it needs a new engine supposedly and we don't need to pay our neighbour until much later Do you get the impression DH has me twisted round his little finger?! Or is it guilt because he has to stay at home as a SAHD and I know he would liek to be back at work

Right time for another cup of tea and then I am going to try to sleep

So sorry to hear of the awful stress going on.

:(

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Morning all,

Sorry to hear about the redundancy threat looming over everyone's heads. I worked in the city till last year, so went through it in 2008/9. Its not pleasant but i took the attitude of not worrying about it as there's very little you can do to change things. But it is unpleasant - mostly because it brings out the worst in your colleagues as they all desparately struggle to justify their own self worth! And if its any comfort, I'm still private sector and going through a restructure in my company. I won't be affected but there's that horrid atmosphere again.

mrsSN - Given what's about to happen in your "company" maybe leaving sooner rather than later would not be a bad thing. We had a housing issue earlier in the year, and as soon as we raised a formal complaint, we got a miraculous level of service - over and above the call. My DH may have used the words "asbestos" "lawyers" and "pregnant" in his conversation with the housing people, which helped. But I suspect you're dealing with a different department, who are probably shrouded in even more layers of beaurocracy! Have you got a senior member of staff who can weigh in on your behalf - I know people say you're not supposed to do that, but I know enough people who have! Could you get signed off sick for the longer term - i.e. from now till the end? You are only "forced" to start ML in the last four weeks. I feel your frustration!

Started having problems sleeping this week - the bump is hurting right up under my boobs. Whoever said that pregnancy is a totally natural thing has obviously never been pregnant. As far as I can see, its totally unnatural. You don't see pregnant sheep complaining of bad backs, lack of sleep, SPD, morning sicknes, exhaustion blah blah blah do you? :o

DH was incredibly helpful this morning and decided to get the chickens up when he left for work at 5.45, so Gracie has been honking since then, I am not sure what her problem is, she's laying under the lavendar hedge and they had food and have access to the greenhouse. She's still going now, I'm hoping she'll loose her voice soon.

DH also bought me a copy of p&b when he popped out to get Land Rover Owner, he was excited about the free book, but then was disturbed by some of the pictures of 'actual' labour. I have been gentling him a bit, his squeamish-ness isn't too bad these days. Mine is getting worse, can't bear to touch raw meat and the smell, yeuch!

I'm struggling to settle in one position when I sleep, I start on my left side, then LO fidgets and jerks about and sometimes rolls, I then move to my back and then over to my right and then back and forth all night long. Even my dreamgeni isn't helping. If I put more pillows in the bed they'd be no room for DH.

Thats why I got rid of DH Kellestar! He's been in the spare room for about 3 or 4 weeks now . The problem is I need to go to bed earlier than him and he is quite a light sleeper. So when I get up every 2 or 3 hours for a pee, he insists on talking to me because he wakes up!!! And then he nods off and does this annoying half snore (to be honest even his breathing annoys me at this point) so then I have to nudge him and he's then annoyed cos I've worken him up.... And the cycle continues.... We are both much happier sleeping apart at the moment. If I wake up in the night I have to go back to sleep as quickly as I can or else I seem to stay awake for hours....

MrsSnaplegs! - Oppppss I meant mousse!!! Although a chocolate covered anything would have been appealing last night . Sorry about all the housing hassle you have... Could you have taken what was on offer as a short term placement and keep the pressure on to get something more permanent? OR was it in a really bad state? If you have friends and your DD is settled in north london then there may be some benefits of going back up there??? Hope so!! .

Definately worth checking out the law re: mat leave and redundancy but I was made redundant at 5 months pregnant and discussed it with a solicitor at the time as I was sure there must be some kind of protection. I took them to court for unfair dismissal (and won) but it was not based on the fact I was pregnant. The solicitor at the time said that as long as they applied to same rules and selection process for everyone and it was fair and transparent then pregnancy / mat leave doesn't exempt you from the process. Which is quite right really. Its not fair for someone else to lose their job just because someone in front of them in the redundancy 'queue' has had a baby. In reality though a lot of companies will avoid putting themselves in the position of making a pregnant / mat leave employee redundant because their redundancy processes must be water tight in those situations and the scrutiny may be too much. But, I'm by no means a legal expert - just what I've told by a solicitor previously. HOPEFULLY! none of us will be in that position.

Hello all,

Saw consultant, measured small, only 26 weeks so was scanned, and all is good :) baby actually measures 31 weeks - not 30 (which is what I am)

Plus the MW examined me and said baby was CERTAINLY breech, guess what, scan showed head down so HA!!

great news OWO. Am trying to catch up with everyone elses news too.

My DH is trying to sort his snoring out and has bought one of those mouth-guards which does work a bit but the last few days I have been sleeping very badly so it's come at the wrong time.

Hi, wow the physio's are quick down here, have an appt through for next week, only thing is I have to change it as it's the same time as my mw appt. Ah well!

MrsSL - Good luck with the complaint. Not sure if you've already been made aware but something that may help with your decision re whether to get them to hurry things up or whether to push for remote working until you take Mat Leave is if you're down here you'll have to go to QA as Blake & Grange are now closed until after new year as they've had to move all the mw's from the 2 MLUs to QA due to a massive 'baby boom' in the city.

maxpower hmm no signs of infection so I hope not, have to wait and see I guess.

chooster definitely, had enough to worry about so far! Hmm mousse, I've been having trouble finding any suitable for vegetarians :( although I'm not sure I should be eating it now with my glucose levels high :s

MrsS sleeping is hard isn't it, I have the same problems but tend to just lie in bed when I can't sleep or google stuff on my phone. Sorry you're in more pain, I've not had huge amounts with my spd which has surprised me, not that I'm complaining though.

WhatWillSanta hope you're feeling better, or at least not as bad, now. I'm having awful hip and lower inside pain where she moves and kicks really low down, I'm thinking she's still breech and also hard to breathe.

OWO glad it all went well. Lol at the baby being breech but not actually, glad baby is head down and hope stays that way.

Sooo tired again today, kicks are waking me often in the night and needing to wee, I'm sure the low iron isn't helping either or the three children running about hehe. I'm sure I don't remember movements being so painful until right near the end with my others, feels really strong and odd.

CherylAnnTweedy Thanks for the info on the midwives and QA - I knew there was something happening but wasn't sure what. I would still much prefer to be in QA than Watford General from experiences of both so far for my maternity care. If it looks like we may be here then I may consider a HB although DH is really not keen on that. It would be easier with DD up here as she knows everyone and it would be really easy to get a babysitter - difficult situation really

Morning all. Quiet here last night and this morning! Have I missed a new thread?! I slept so much better last night and feel like a new person, dh (almost called him dp then, ooh dh :o) is dropping the children off for me so I could sleep a little longer. Kicks didn't wake me until this morning thankfully.

Miserable weather here but I'm in a good mood anyway. Feeling good today, touch wood :o Hope everyone else is well.

Morning all.

I am getting really frustrated in work. My work mate seems to think she has to do all my work if it involves any movement from behind the desk! She's lovely and only trying to help but I do need to get up and move about a bit so I'm having to rush whenever an enquiry comes in so I can get to it first! meh!

My DH has gone AWOL. He was away for a meeting and team building night (At the dogs) but hasn't called me since yesterday evening. I shouldn't be surprised I suppose but it annoys me! Probably has a hellish hangover.

good morning! Im in a surprisingly good mood this morning seeing as I forgot to put my phone on silent last night and got woken up at 2 by a drunken phone call from an ex...I didnt get to sleep again until 6 :-( BUT i did only just wake up as its my day off so I shouldnt be too tired!

I love rainy days :0

Morning all,

I had a massive meltdown last night about giving birth: I STILL do not know what to do.

Nearest hospital is the Whittington which is easy to get to, fab birthing unit, only 2 miles away.

However, due to my postcode I'm booked in at the Homerton, nearly 6 miles away, hard to get to, bus takes nearly an hour, driving up to 30 mins with traffic or even longer

No point in going 6 miles to Homerton birthing unit (or doing 11 mile round trip - and we don't have a car and DH does not drive) so booked in for a HB.

Am now worrying because if HB does not go to plan would have to transfer to the Homerton 6 miles away. This strikes me as quite dangerous when there is a much closer hospital 2 miles away. I do not want to be driven 6 miles in heavy December traffic in pain and frightened if HB plan has to be abandoned. Nor do I see the point of DH having to make daily 11 mile round trips on public transport if I am kept in. And Homerton post natal word terrifies me.

:(

However, I am allowed to use the Whittington birthing unit, I just can't have a HB with them. Even though the HB midwives all meet their clients in the cafe in the park outside my flat, I'm 'not in the right area'! I would also have to go back to Homerton community midwife care after the birth.

I am so fed up about this and just want to try for a HB and have the knowledge that I can go to the Whittington, the nearest cottage hospital 2 miles away in ten minutes and be safe. But I'm not allowed.

I also wish my mum was around to talk to me about birth, she died suddenly in 2007.

So I spent 3+ hours last night crying and crying inconsolably. I almost NEVER cry and I hate crying: it does not make me feel better, it just makes me feel shit.

Wondering if I should hire a doula to mother me before and after birth?

Feel a bit silly hiring emotional support when I have DH and it might be seen as a snub to him.

DH and I are going to visit Homerton for a 2 hour antenatal labour class on Sat (because we are still booked in with them) and then in the afternoon go to Whittington for scan (because have started transfer process with them). At some point I will have to make up my mind but the Homerton community midwife said: don't cancel your Homerton appts whilst you check out the Whittington, make your mind up after Whittington booking in/Q&A session and that seems good advice.

But I hate feeling like I don't know what to do about the birth and it is starting to feel close now and stressing me out.

How are you all feeling about it?
Sorry very long whinging post.

Miffster have you told your MW how you feel?

When I was in actual labour with DD at the local birthing unit, I needed to be transfered to larger hopsital I had the choice of 4 hospitals (all an hour away) and I chose the one that I now live closest to so where Id end up having this one.

I had the choice though and at the end of it, when your in labour if you turn up at the hospital of your choice they have to treat you xxx

Dueling Hope dh turns up soon, I'd be so annoyed at him not calling or anything to say where he was.

lauren I always put mine on silent at night too, how odd that the one night you didn't you got a call!

Miffster I have ds1 at the homerton, I liked it there. I didn't go to the postnatal ward though, I gave birth in one of the home from home rooms and stayed there for about 7ish hours and got discharged straight from there to home. Why aren't you allowed to book in at the Whittington for a HB if it's the closest one? Seems stupid. Is there noone you can call or write to to see if they can help? At the time, I lived closer to the London hospital, about 2 miles up the road (5 mins in car) but I really didn't want to give birth there at all so choose the homerton which was more awkward to get to, around 15 mins in the car maybe 20.

Where I am now I'm a lot futher away from both hospitals that are nearest (Cambridge), around 9 miles from each but along duel carriageways and then a city centre or the other hospital which I'm not going to, had my last one at the Rosie and love it there so definitely going back. It can take an hour to get there by car in traffic, usually takes 30 mins so I am a little worried that I may end up giving birth in the car! Especially around December when the roads may be blocked with snow and it's icy, it'll take even longer. Might end up with an unplanned HB. I'm quite scared about the birth again now actually, worrying about the pain and tearing...I hate needles and medical things anyway so the idea of needles, being cut, assisted births all terrify me tbh.

Morning all. I'm booked it to the Homerton too, miffster. So far everyone's been gret there, but I've only been in twice for two very quick scans so can't say I've really had much experience of it yet.

I can totally understand why the long journey there would make it an unappealing choice for you. Is that the main reason you're keen to avoid it? Or does the hospital itself not appeal?

It does seem so unfair that you can't use the Whittington. Poor old you. xx

Great, obviously. Not gret...

Miffster soeey to hear about your worries and about your mum. I've been thinking about my dad a lot and how he would have felt about me having a baby (He died in 2000) and it is so terribly sad to think they are missing out on a grandchild.

I second talking to the midwife about the hospital situation and maybe a Doula would be a good idea.

My DH was staying away so I wasn't expecting him back but I do get anxious when I don't hear from him and he knows this and knows why so I wish he'd be a little bit more understanding. I have spoken to him (woke him up!) now but need to get rid of my pissed offness before hw gets back.

C&G, you are the first person I have read who liked the Homerton, can I ask what did you like about it?

My postcode is Hackney not Islington, I pay council tax to Hackney not Islington so even though the Whittington is 2 miles away and the Homerton is 6 miles away, the Homerton is Hackney and the Whittington is Islington, and I must therefore have Hackney community midwives and not Islington community midwives. I am under Hackney primary care trust.

So I can't have a Whittington midwife doing a home birth with me, it must be a Hackney midwife and she must take me to Homerton if I transfer. Can't do anything about it, that's the postcode and that's how it works, apparently. (Whittington hospital midwife office were very definite on the point)

I can still use Whittington birth centre apparently but after that it's back to the Homerton/Hackney midwife care team. Am also worried about what to do if I turn up at he Whittington and the birthing centre is busy, which apparently it could well be.

Tying myself in knots here, it's hard to know what to do for the best.

Duelling I too would be very fed up at no call from DH! Maybe he lost his phone? Hope he gets in touch soon.

Miffster Could you call ahead on the day to Whittington to see if they have space? I suppose that would be a problem no matter where you are booked but on the other hand if you just turned up they may be able to "find" space for you? I doubt they would be able to turn you away if you were in last stages of labour! I can see why you'd want to have a HB though. I've considered one myself but the fact that my pregnanices aren't good rules that out for me, plus my births have been hit and miss at the end with baby getting distressed. Ds1 was born with the cord wrapped round his shoulders and distressed and I was literally seconds away from being cut and him helped out, I pushed him out the contraction before that happened and the same thing with ds2 but no cord wrapped causing the distress.

I really liked the midwives at homerton and their midwife unit, this was 7 years ago so I don't know if it's changed but they had a couple of rooms which were much more homely and would let you labour without too much fuss. Much less medical looking. The rooms were on the same floor as the usual delivery suite but at the other end of the corridor so no transfer time as such. I felt really comfortable there and with the care that was provided; just generally liked it. Wasn't overly busy and I felt they had time for me. If you can use the Whittington birth centre then you should, as long as that's what you want to do, and not worry too much about the midwives afterwards. You'll be looked after and they'll come to you after the birth anyway.

Miffster sorry you're feelng worried about the birth. It does seem crazy you can't book in to the unit which is closet to you and I can understand why you're concerned.

Funnily enough, I had a bit of a meltdown last night about the birth as well. I bumped into a friend this morning though who is a midwife at my local hospital and also had a home birth, and is also GBS positive, so she was able to give me some reassurance. I'm starting to reconsider HB again after ruling it out as I realised it's going into hospital and not knowing whether I'll be able to use the pool and having to go early etc for antibiotics which is stressing me out. Having looked at the GBS website, there are pros and cons of the antibiotics. I am thinking now of paying for the private test at 36 weeks which is much more accurate and saying I still want my HB. Will see what midwife says next week.

You could look into a doula - I feel a bit better having one.

DD just gone down for nap, had nice morning together making cakes which taste nice but look, erm interesting... She loves baking and stuff though even if it does get really messy. I thought the SPD was feeling a bit better until I attempted to walk round the supermarket with her. Seeing another physio Mon so fingers crossed it helps.

Never thought I'd say it but I'm a bit bored off work! I know if I was at work I'd be tired, in pain and stressed but it's hard being at home and feeling guilty.

DF ooh that would annoy me! I get annoyed when DH doesn't tell me when he'll be in from work as it can range from 3-7 depending on what the job is.

lauren sorry about drunken calls waking you up - not good.

OWO glad all ok when baby was checked out. My midwife insisted DD was in good position, head down and tummy to my back. I said she felt back to back with me but midwife said no. She was, needless to say.

We did some stuff on optimum fetal positioning at yoga last night which was really interesting. I never knew if you start labour with a back to back /OP baby the most important thing is to turn it BEFORE it starts descending. IE, on all fours rotating hips etc, so baby can turn first otherwise it descends back to back which makes for longer more painful labour. I was never told this with DD, the hospital sent me to walk around to get her to descend with her still in back to back position. NOw, she may never have turned as she was all strapped up in cord, but she did eventually turn just before crowning. I could've had much shorter and easier labour potentially if I'd just known her position and what positions to be in myself to turn her. I found what she said so helpful, going to try and paraphrase it below:

Apparently up to 40% of babies in the western world start labour back to back which makes it much harder for them to descend. This is because we all sit in big squishy sofas, bucket car seats and office chairs which tilt the pelvis back a lot of the time making the heaviest part of the baby (the bum) swing to your back. From about 30 weeks most important things are to get pelvis forward - sit on a wedge cushion, lean over massive bean bag (leaning forwards) to watch TV, or straddling a chair leaning forward etc, lie on left hand side, go on all fours lots etc etc. Of course, if you've got SPD or other complications that's a bit tricky, but believe me it is worth it to get baby in a good position!

Phew, sorry so long...

I've been catching up but not posting in ages. I've been a complete misery due to a week long ear infection, thankfully after 3 trips to the Dr and being signed off work for a week I am now on mild antibiotics and hopefully it's getting better. It did feel like i was being stabbed in the head with a rusty knife

miffster big hug being sent your way If you really want a home birth, then that's what you should do, and if you can afford a doula, that sounds like a great idea. she will know all you concerns and be your voice if you do need to transfer to hospital. With you on the crying front too, Monday my ear hurt so much i sobbed for hours, which only made my pain worse, it's a vicious cycle. I hope you are feeling a bit better now. What does your Dh think? I think your day visiting both hospitals and talking through your concerns with the midwife will help you have a better idea.

C&G How was your wedding? Are you going to post of a photo? i'd love to see you in your dress

Strix Sorry to hear about your work stresses, you will probably be right about me being first, I had my 28 week scan on tuesday and have been told a definite C section at 36 weeks which is about the 15th/16th November. I am scared not necessarily about the birth, more having to look after 2 newborns, anyone else getting nervous

Does anyone have private health insurance? I have Bupa with work which doesn't cover pregnancy unless there are complications, but I think if i have a consultants letter stating the need for a c section this is covered. Does anyone know how this will work. Can I choose to have a private birth anywhere, or will I just have private treatment at my hospital? also if babies go into special care, as i've had a private birth, would i have to pay for this?

Sorry not to reply to everyone, hope you are all good today

Wow, so many posts I can't catch up!

Miffster - TBH if you really want a home birth, that isn't very far to transfer.

I'm also booked in with a hospital that isn't the closest in order to have a HB. But in my case it's 25 miles away instead of 15 miles.

I'm not very keen on the hospital I'm booked in at as it's a nightmare to get to, is a real issue to park at and is a right rabbit warren of a place. Very busy too. However, I have found that it has more up-to-date policies on things like induction and breastfeeding, so I'm happy with going there if I have to. Have you compared policies at the different hospitals?

If you really want to go to the out-of-area hospital, then you have the choice of not having a HB or booking with them but then also booking an independent MW for home.

Lavitabellissima - think you need to check your BUPA policy as they all vary in what is provided where.