Don’t want my Dads partner to be Nan.

[Claree11]

Hi everyone. Bit of a long complicated one but really want other peoples thoughts and advice please 🙏

found out I am pregnant but I don’t want my dads partner to be called nan and I know when I announce it she will say “I’m going to be a nan” straight away as she already once said to me if I ever have kids she’s going to be a nan and I instantly thought no…

my partners mom and dad have remarried and my mom and dad are both with people and have been for 15+ years. My mom’s partner is more like a step dad to me and he has no children of his own so will never have the opportunity to be a grandad so I would like him to be grandad .

my dads partner I don’t really class as a step mom (there not married) they’ve been together 17 years and have an 11 year old child. I know she will have the opportunity to be a Nan one day but I just don’t want her to be a Nan to my child as I don’t see her like that and at times she’s not being very nice to me and I just get on with her for the sake of her child (my half sister)

what are peoples thoughts on this? And what do I say when I Announce it and she instantly says she will be a Nan?

for the record with everyone having a different partners and my partners Nan and grandad still being alive that would be 10 grand parents all together

thank you so much any advice appreciated x

I wonder what Williams kids call Camilla? Doesn’t matter any which way, just a random thought that skipped across my mind.

This , unfortunately.

Honestly this simply isn’t a hill I’d die on. Who cares what she gets called really? It doesn’t matter. What matters is how much effort she puts into her relationship with your child, and perhaps that will be very little but perhaps not. Could Nanny Deidre or similar be a good middle ground?

If you hardly see her how much will your DC see her? She doesn’t sound nice and her behaviour is the thing you should be concentrating on and not what she is called. GPs names can evolve, so even if she doesn’t start as Nan it is possible your little one might start calling her that at some point.

Tell her that you will be referring to her as "Nan Annoying" when the baby is born :)

This is all a bit crazy, right? What about the baby? Grand parents are your parents' parents, there can only be 4.

This poor child will not know what the meaning of nan, granny etc is if so many random people are called it. He's got 2 grannies, right? 4 nans or grandmas are too many. Just let the child call them Sharon or Linda, or whatever your father's wife's name is. that should suffice.

My grandfather was married to a wonderful woman (she died many years ago). I never called her Nan, I called her Anna.

Lady, I will do as I please. But thanks for the unsolicited advice.

You don't have to agree with everything every person posts. It's ok to disagree with people.
I wasn't talking about your family. I was replying to OP. I have no idea why you are making it about yourself.

Her step-mother was horrible to OP when she was an adult and OP was a child.

OP owes her step-mother nothing and I wouldn't even let her see my child., never mind let her call herself Nan. OP's dad sounds like a totally shit father as well. Who cares if OP is being petty when her own dad and step-mother were cruel to her as a child.

My dad’s parents were divorced and both had new partners, his stepdad had a grandparent name and his stepmum was just known by her first name. It wasn’t confusing, it was just done that way as his stepdad had been there for my dad more than my stepmum so sounds like a similar situation. However my grandad’s partner never had an issue with this setup and they’d only been together 4 years before I was born. I think it depends really - sounds like your stepmum won’t be involved much anyway, so if there’s no relationship to be broken down in the first place…

Unpleasant post this.