Announcing the week before best friends wedding

[SpaceSharkTea]

Hi all,

Just looking for opinions. I think it's BU to our close/best friend to announce in the week leading up to their wedding.

We will be going for our 12 week scan when we're actually 13-14 weeks due to being away when it's around 12 weeks. This means we will be going for our scan in the Monday-Friday of the week when our friends are getting married on the Saturday. My DH is Best Man as the groom is his best man. If we announce that week the first time we see the vast majority of our friends will be at the wedding.

DH says I'm being silly but I think for everyone to be congratulating us on the same day as the newly weds takes all the attention away from then. DH says as we will be 14 weeks by the wedding that there's no reason to wait any longer.

Maybe I'm being hormonal and overly sensitive but I just don't want to upset anyone

I don't think you're being silly. I would either wait until after the wedding or would you be open to telling you're friends who are getting married first and asking them their opinion.
Not saying that your friend is like this but some to be brides almost act as hormonal as pregnant women so I wouldn't want to "steal her thunder" without at least consulting with her first

I'm confused, why can't you wait till the week after? You can't be showing yet. My bridesmaid got engaged the week before my wedding and it was a bit hurtful to be honest (although I never said a word).

At 14 weeks you'll have a bump and when you're not drinking people will guess. The focus will be the bride not you you're over thinking this. Just tell people

No, don't tell people. That would be unfair. Its her special day that she's been planning ages. Let her enjoy her limelight! I'd have been furious had my friend done that to me!

Had it fallen that you could have announced a fair bit before, then fair enough. But not that week. Wait until after.

You are right. People are funny about weddings. If everyone is congratulating you at her wedding it will steal her thunder a bit and most people would be upset about that. Like I said - people go wedding crazy! You’re a very thoughtful friend for thinking about waiting.

It's kind and thoughtful of you to wait until after the wedding.

I also agree best to wait untill after the wedding IMO...

When I got married my best friend was pregnant and didn't tell me for this reason and I am grateful for it although she left really early and I was pretty peeved until I found out why 🤣🤣

I would just tell people the week before when you have the scan. The focus definitely won’t be off the bride and groom . You’ll get lots of congratulations at the wedding but I don’t think that will harm anyone . If you don’t tell them it might be obvious anyway . At 14 weeks I had a tiny bump , huge boobs and it would be pretty obvious if I wasn’t drinking . Then the focus would be on gossip which is worse in my opinion .

I went to my best friends wedding 20 weeks pregnant and hadn’t seen any of our friends since announcing my pregnancy and got tons of congrats . The bride and groom didn’t notice or cared and the focus was on them the whole day!!!!!

When is this wedding planned? Every wedding I’ve had scheduled this year has been postponed!

It’s probably going to be a non issue. With COVID-19 restrictions will they even be having a wedding with loads of guests who might focus on your news rather than their day? Assuming you are even only 6 weeks pregnant now that’s only another 6-8 weeks until the wedding, seems highly unlikely venues will be given the greenlight for large gatherings in that short a timeframe. . If you’re further along than 6 weeks now then that makes it even more unlikely.

At 14 weeks I already looked pregnant because I had a bump, giant boobs, glowing skin, and I was chugging ginger beer and gagging at weird smells. I don't know how some women manage to hide it but I am in awe of them!

I think as long as you aren't announcing it during the actual wedding then it's fine.