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Birth announcements

Share your unique birth stories and read heartwarming stories from fellow mums. For more on your baby’s development, check out the Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Family expecting me to have a boy. Just found out I'm having a girl.

25 replies

Jasperlove · 24/10/2017 08:32

My family has three baby girls in the family so everyone has been expecting me to have the first boy. I was so excited to share the news with the family but since finding out I'm having a girl, I'm a bit hurt and really don't want to hear negative reactions. What's supposed to be such a happy moment in mine and DH's life is being overshadowed with disappointment. How would you deal with the situation? Thanks in advance

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Fekko · 24/10/2017 08:33

Who family? Parents? Are you hurt that you are having a girl?

NataliaOsipova · 24/10/2017 08:34

My family has three baby girls in the family so everyone has been expecting me to have the first boy.

Why? On what basis? That's not how it works...!! Surely everyone knows this? Do you really think there'll be a negative reaction or has the "expectation" been more of a jokey thing?

Polly99 · 24/10/2017 08:35

That’s not how biology works.

Why are you hurt?

Acopyofacopy · 24/10/2017 08:35

Congratulations

Your family can expect all they want, a beautiful baby girl is what they are getting. If their reaction is anything but smiles and congratulations then they are idiots.

WunWun · 24/10/2017 08:37

When you tell them add on a 'I don't really want any jokes about it not being a boy please'.

WunWun · 24/10/2017 08:37

If you're very sure you're likely to get them anyway.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 24/10/2017 08:39

How do you and your DH feel about it! Is it possible that you're projecting your own disappointment on to your family? I find it hard to imagine that extended family would be disappointed over the sex of a new baby.

RaininSummer · 24/10/2017 08:39

How odd. Be pleased when have a healthy baby. Why would they expect a boy. It sounds rather Henry Eighth and that didn't end well.

blueskyinmarch · 24/10/2017 08:40

Have you told them yet? Surely no-one will be disappointed that you are having a lovely, squishy baby girl? That is just weird. My parents have 5 GC and all are girls. They were (and still are) delighted with each and every one of them.

Somersetter · 24/10/2017 08:41

Are you sure they're not joking? I can't believe they'll be anything other than delighted.

All girls in our family too, and we do joke we need a boy next but we don't mean anything by it! (You're not my SIL are you?!)

MamaOfTwos · 24/10/2017 08:42

Your little girl will be loved just as much, all babies are precious regardless of gender

MagicFajita · 24/10/2017 08:43

Just tell them to get over it op.

Every baby is a blessing.

ricecakeseverywhere · 24/10/2017 08:43

Just announce with great excitement

Absolutely delighted to say we are having a beautiful girl - can't wait and so pleased there are lots of cousins to play with

No one will dare say anything

EsmeeMerlin · 24/10/2017 08:48

You would be surprised, my mil has 5 grandsons already including my ds. We are 21 weeks pregnant and it's another boy. We are thrilled but when we told mil, her first words were how much she wanted baby to be a girl and went on and on about a girl. She could not hide her disappointment and eventually dh had to have words with her.

She was not the only one either to make a little comment.

Op just brightly tell them baby is a healthy girl and if they do make a comments tell them you don't want to hear it.

Congratulations on your girl!

putdownyourphone · 24/10/2017 08:49

Eh? How can they be expecting you to have a boy before you've had a gender scan?

Original poster

Jasperlove · 24/10/2017 08:50

Thanks, everyone, for all the kind words. My DH are thrilled about having a baby girl. My siblings are coming from a more "joking" perspective, but both sets of parents culturally still have some deep-rooted beliefs in having boys. It's absolutely ridiculous. I know they will be happy but at first they will be sad it's not a boy. And that just doesn't sit right with me.

OP posts:

SleepFreeZone · 24/10/2017 08:54

My sister and I both have two boys each. I didn't feel any expectation from anyone to produce a girl although I have miscarried two girls due to disabilities, so sadly I just can't make healthy girls.

I'm sure your news will be met with huge excitement and hopefully they'll be lots of hand-me-downs coming your daughters way 😍😍

Mrsyorkie · 24/10/2017 09:02

When your baby is hear you really won't care what other people think. It may not sit right with you now but when your daughter arrives youll not give 2 hoots. I think youll be suprised how thr GP's will no longer care about gender either. My husband has a boy from a previous relationship so I really wanted a girl- because I thought it would be nice for him. I feel really silly now but I was initially disappointed that we were having a boy- despite always wanting a first! We were naturally drawn to girls clothes etc. However that soon changed. I absolutely idolize my son and would have 10 more boys!

Skittlesandbeer · 24/10/2017 09:23

I think you’re going to need a tougher skin. You are likely going to face a lot of child-rearing comments, behaviours and judgements from this lot that also ‘won’t sit right’ with you. Count on it, every day for decades.

Focus less on how unfair it is, and concentrate your energies on setting and policing some good strong boundaries.

Your baby only needs you and your DH to be eternally thrilled and in her corner. Everyone else, including your nearest and dearest, are unfortunately likely to view her through a lens of their own self-interest.

Congrats on your special baby girl news!

(And if you’re feeling really cheeky, tell the assembled family that you’ve decided to raise her male, to make them happy! See what their culture says to that!)

Hotpinkangel19 · 24/10/2017 09:35

We are expecting our 4th baby.... all other grandchildren are boys and we have 2 boys together already, (I have DD from previous relationship) DH really wanted a girl, and when we found our she is in fact a girl, we called MIL from the car and told her it was a boy.... she paused, went quiet, and said ‘Never mind.’

RosyPony · 24/10/2017 09:42

Because I am a grumpy pregnant lady if any of my family went on about wanting the opposite sex I’d ask them exactly what they wanted me to do about it? Give this one away and start again?!

ApollO88 · 24/10/2017 11:32

My mum and Dad had us 3 girls. My eldest sister had 2 boys. I had a boy. My youngest sister had 2 boys. There’s now a lot of pressure on me to give them a granddaughter. Trouble is I’m pretty sure we’re not going to be having another baby so unless the other 2 decide to try again they will just have 5 grandsons

lollipop7 · 24/10/2017 19:37

Good Lord.
Some people.

I am always aghast at relatives who say these things. All that matters is that you are ok and have a healthy baby boy or girl.
Congratulations btw and a hint of any funny business I’d tell them to go fuck themselves.

Fia256 · 05/11/2017 08:28

Oh I’ve been there with this crap

I’m one of 3 girls, and my dh family (or his Nan I should say) has had 4 grandsons, and then a further 4 great grandsons. When I was pregnant, everyone was certain I’d have the first girl in their family. It really wound me up, and when we found out we were having a boy, they were all bitterly disappointed, esp his nan who made some horrible comments.

Coincidentally, our second child was a girl, and the first one to be born in the family still, after a further two more boys after our ds. The reaction was ridiculous from them, and it actually annoyed me even more than it did with ds as both my children are just as special as each other. You’ve just got to try and let it go over your head and not let it ruin your exciting time

Congrats on your baby girl news

cherryontopp · 16/11/2017 14:57

OP, i have no advice but to say i understand completely how your feeling, im in a similar situation and its utterly shit how people dont realise how much these comments affect you.

Im due my first baby in February, my parents have my 3 year old nephew from my brother.
My dad is constantly going on about me having a girl despite knowing i had to get fertility treatment to get pregnant!
I have a feeling, my parents will be slightly disappointed if i have a boy and he will not get as much attention as my nephew their first grandchild.
But you know what? 95% of me doesn't give a fuck. This is mine and my dps first baby, at one point i never thought i would have my own child so parents can feel how they want, as long my child is not getting different treatment.

Your baby is for you and your partner only, sod everyone else.

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