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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

just wanted to talk!!!

84 replies

mumtosomeone · 10/08/2005 07:27

Sorry you guys are getting this...you dont have to read on!!!! I had a scan yesterday and found I am no longer pregnant! I was only 7 weeks but i am so upset. I didnt expect to feel like this! Dh is trying to be supportive and I understand he has lost a baby too! I am still bleeding and it is getting heavier. Each time I go to the loo I am saying goodbye again to my poor little baby! I want toscream at him!! I am up now with the little ones whilst he snores in bed!! I want to thump him and scream and shout!!! Am I being awful! We told no one i was pregnant so no one knows I have lost it!(told ds(14) and DD(12)) Dh keeps asking if I am ok! I want to shout of course Iam not ok you stupid man!!! But instead i smile and say yes! When I cry he say 'oh whats the matter?' I want to say are you fing stupid or what!!!
I love this man so much but right now he is driving me mad!! i think he is mean and selfish and unsupportive,but I know he is doing his best!!
Sorry I will shut up now!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumtosomeone · 14/08/2005 21:18

Thanks!
Dont want to talk to them about it, but they want to know stuff! I just told my Mum I didnt want to talk!!!
Not that easy with DH's!!!!
Me and DH talking alot more now! I arent as angry and seem to be getting through the day easier! He is back at work tomorrow though! So I will be home with the 5 of them!

OP posts:
Diddle · 14/08/2005 21:41

mumtosomeone - hope tomorrow is ok for you, remember to take time for yourself, and get some rest. How old are your kids??

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 14/08/2005 21:45

14,12,11(on tuesday) 2.5 and 10 months!!!
Dh is off on Tuesday..we are off to the zoo!!!
Has anyone seen or heard from Baggybear?

OP posts:
coppertop · 14/08/2005 21:47

Hi MtS. Baggybear started a thread with your name in the title a couple of days ago. I think she posted that she would be away for the weekend but was keen to find out how you were doing.

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 14/08/2005 21:48

thanks..how do @@I find that thread?!!!!

OP posts:
coppertop · 14/08/2005 21:51

I've just bumped it into Active Conversations for you. It's called something like "desperately looking for mumtosomeone".

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 14/08/2005 21:52

thanks!

OP posts:
sunnyside · 14/08/2005 22:44

M2S1 so sorry for what u r going thru. It is v difficult whether u tell people or not . I have recently gone thru the same and also felt DH was as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Sounds flip but its true. He has literally carried on as though nothing happened. I kept passing out as I was losing so much so quickly but he still left me to it with 11 month old!

That said, he'd be devastated to think that he wasn't being supportive, I think men just don't function in the same universe sometimes!

Take time for yourself now and remember that we're all here when you need to let go a bit.

baggybear · 14/08/2005 23:24

Phew! Thank goodness I have finally caught up with you. You know when you just have to have a particular conversation...

Well, I knew we had somethings in common but I had no idea we would have SO much. How are you feeling now? I really do hope you are doing okay. I just want to give you a big {{HUG}} and say I know how you feel.

I feel pretty s**t tonight. Been away this weekend with my beautiful family. We went to Legoland and seeing the boys having such a fantastic time took away a bit of pain. I managed to laugh at times, but i was still hurting inside. I didn't want to ruin the weekend for my DS's (who have no idea what has happened, and didn't know I was pregnant), so i played along. But coming home this evening was horrible. I was coming back to reality and all the pain i left behind.

Not sure if you know what happened with me? Will tell you my story if you want me to, but won't make you listen. But I am more than happy to listen to you talk if you want to. I have 2 big flappy ears any time you want to bend them.

I just can't believehow much we have in common - first MC but not first baby; DH not 100% happy about pregnancy; both of us went to EPU on tuesday (i think) and the list goes on...

I hope you get this and we can chat properly

BTW what is "cat" - quite new to MN and still a bit dumb to all the jargon.

Any way, lots of {{{{hugs}}}} and xxxxx

baggybear · 14/08/2005 23:25

Sorry guys, last post meant foa mumtosomeone. Tired form weekend and head not screwed on tight!!

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 07:15

just click conyact another talker and you can email me!
We do seem to have a lot in common!
I would like to chat yes! Things are settling down a bit now..I think! Still weepy but less than before. It sort of comes in waves now. Become quite obsessed with my 10 month old, but trying not to. when he is just out of the bath and wrapped in a towel , I break. Silly isnt it?!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 10:45

Had bad headache ever since I started to m/c is this normal?

OP posts:
Original poster
mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 10:46

is it related?

OP posts:
HellyBelly · 15/08/2005 11:25

mumtosomeone - sorry, only just read this I don't remember having headaches after my m/c? It could be because of all the emotions you are going through at the moment! How's the bleeding now? That was the hardest thing for me too and I know what you mean about saying goodbye each time I had an erpc after mine as I really was loosing a hell of a lot - if you are bad you should get checked again.

Hope you are ok (stupid thing to say but ykwim!)

{{{hugs}}}

baggybear · 15/08/2005 13:05

I've had some headaches since "it" happened, but i've been putting them down to the emotional stress i'm under right now.

I've managed to CAT you M2S1. Hope you get it okay. not good with technology

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 14:24

waiting for your mail.
head still pounding! just had a row with someone in supermarket!!! Then bumped into a friend I havent seen in a while 'when are you having another then ha ha !' had to make a quick exit!!

OP posts:
baggybear · 15/08/2005 14:33

Oh, M2S1 . I dread seeing someone and getting a comment like that. I had to make sure I caught up with everyone I told about being pregnant coz i couldn't face being asked how pregnancy was going. Makes me go cold to think about it...

What have you tried for your headache? I don't have any miricle cures i'm afraid, just good old ibuprofen and a cool dark room.

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 17:10

just emailed you baggy!!
No one knew I was expecting so at least wont get any comments about pregnancy!!!

OP posts:
baggybear · 15/08/2005 17:54

Got it M2S1! Have replied xx

Original poster
mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 18:08

will look. just got dd's hair to do!!!

OP posts:
baggybear · 18/08/2005 16:04

Is there anyone about??

Having a hard day again. The last couple of days have started ok but gone downhill as the hours have passed. Still blubbing far too much to be healthy. And I can't sleep for love nor money, even though I'm exhausted. I want to get hold of myself and give me a good shake!!

I just made a huge mistake , as well. I had a look on the March and April ante-natal threads (which I was postin gon whilst PG) to see how everyone was getting on. And, although its great that they are all doing good an dI am so pleased for them, I couldn't help being overwhelmed with jealousy. That should be me!!! I am so sad...

baggybear · 18/08/2005 16:34

Anyone....???

hunkermunker · 18/08/2005 16:39

Hi sweetheart, at work, so can't chat, but couldn't leave your thread without giving you a huge hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

baggybear · 18/08/2005 16:43

Thanks HM xxxx

anchovies · 18/08/2005 16:49

Baggybear - I'm so sorry your having such a hard time, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I haven't got any words of advice but am thinking about you xxx