how to offer condolences

[alux]

a cousin (male) who I have not been in touch with for over 10 yrs has just suffered the loss of a full term dd who died inutero - but not in labour. (The cord was wrapped around her neck.) I currently have an 8 wk old dd and cannot comprehend how massive a shock it would be to me and I know that surely, saying 'sorry for your loss' over this distance of time and space (he lives in the US) would mean nothing to me. I would just be so numb anyway.

Any ideas to help me express my sincere condolences?

Lots of threads about this type of situation before (including one I started ), might give you some ideas. Not much you can say, just how sad you are.

that's so sad alux
I would send a card. not sure what to put in it...
but I remember Jangus (who lost her little girl full term) saying that it really meant a lot to her to know that people were thinking of them..

My DD's friends mum lost her baby last week at 34 weeks.

I sent a card and wrote something like ' Dear x and y, we are so sorry to hear the news about your baby boy. Words are so inadequate at a time like this, nevertheless we want you both to know that you are very much in our thoughts at this sad time. If there is anything practically that we can do to help please let us know, alternatively if you need a shoulder, ours are always available'! love etc.

My cousin from the states wrote 'We don't know what to say but just know we are thinking of you' It helped.