is there a support thread for those of us who have lost our mums (or dads)?

[chimchar]

on reading here, there are many of us...it would help me i think just to have a place to put my ramblings.....

my mum died very suddenly two weeks ago today...my body seems to have taken over and i am carrying on doing relativly well...i just can't think about it. the pain of my mum not being here is too much to bare....

its the really stupid things that are getting to me....i feel like whilst i have my lovely dad, who is doing ok and trying his very best to be there for me, he is not my mum iykwim? she was my best friend and confidante, my fashion consulant, lol, my number one fan!

do you know the really stupid and selfish thing? i care for everyone else (my family, friends, dh, kids, work etc) and she was the one who cared about me.....who will spoil me now?

[LittleGirlLost09]

Its a comfort that this thread is here, although I wish it didnt need to be.

Anastacia, I felt the way you just described too, the first days or so back at work were not very productive, and I felt guilt at acting 'normal' too, but it helps to get back to some routine, and your dad would want you to try and get back to some normality Im sure.. it doesnt mean that nothing has happened, it really doesnt. Im only recently starting to listen to music again, and I've felt guilty about that, and I keep telling my mum that it doesnt mean Im right, it doesnt mean I am over the loss of her, because I never will be.. but Im trying to not fall apart at the seams. It is absolute turmoil, and Ive been in a very dark place, depressed, thinking about dying myself.. mum would be glad to see me doing things that I like doing, I know she would. I hope she can. I bet your dad would be the same.

I still go over what happened in the hospital, and I've tried to rationalise things, but havent been able to.. my opinion right now is that life is just one crazy game, that sucks.

Im desparate for my counselling to start, I dont have anyone to talk to still, not really, and I need that one person who will listen to my thoughts and feelings and try help me make some sense of them.

Look after yourself and dont give yourself a hard time x

[chimchar]

its been 3 weeks tonight that my mum died...i can't believe it.

i just listened accidentally (had forgotten to delete it) to the answerphone message my dad left me to say mum was quite poorly and the ambulance was going to take her to the hospital....i went cold, and have not been able to stop reliving the horror of it since....

god. 3 weeks...it feels like i've been living it forever....i can't remember life before my mum went....i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders...a tightness in my chest that feels so....heavy i guess.

[LittleGirlLost09]

Chimchar, I can so identify with your feelings, Im thinking of you x

[anastasia74]

Chimchar and little girl, Hugs to you both,its a week today since my dads funeral - I hate having to be on this thread. I've been on MN for years now and never for one second thought I would have to be on here. It just makes life feel so fragile and transient and very frightening and his absence hurts - like you say chimchar its like a weight on your chest - when will it go away.

[myredcardigan]

Thinking of you chimchar. I'm obviously further down the road and I'd love to say it gets better... The shock does lessen and you do learn how to cope but the feeling of loss doesn't leave.

This is going to sound absolutely awful but do you know what gets me through? Being grateful that I've lost my mother and not a child. When I'm at my lowest I think of a women I know who lost her daughter and I just thank God that I'm not living through that. That's the only thing that, to me, could be worse. Sounds terrible but I hope you all understand what I mean.

[chimchar]

oh girls...hugs all round ((((()))))

myred...i know exactly what you mean...i do keep thinking that i would never cope if it was one of my children gone, or my husband.... too awful to even think about...sadly too many posters on here know how terrible the reality must be.

today is a new day..i've got a nice day planned (dispite the rain) and i'm trying very hard to take it literally, one day at a time....

hope you all have a peaceful day x