My Eptopic nightmare

[golds]

Quick run through what happened.

I was approx 6 weeks PG when 2 weeks ago I had a slight bleed, worrying about it I went along to my local A&E, they said it was probably a threatened M/C and book me in for a scan on the Mon morning, when I went for the scan, no baby was to be seen. That day I had my bloods taken, then again on the Wednesday and again on the Friday, my HCG levels where doubling nicely and the nurse said, that I was OK and probably just got my dates wrong. To be on the safe side she book me in for another scan last Friday.

On Friday morning I woke to severe stomach and back pain, running the loo etc etc (you get the picture) I though I'd got bad wind !, so I ignored this and went along to my scan as normal at 2pm. The sonorgrapher (Sp?) realised something was up and I was escorted to the Gynae Ward. The doctor came and examined me and said he was pretty sure I had a eptopic PG and a space had been booked in theatre that evening. Things then got worse and I started developing a pain in my right shoulder (classic syptoms apparently) and started to pass out, surgery was brought forward and I was rushed in at 4pm.

My eptopic had ruptured and I had lost 1ltr of blood, they took away the PG and all of my left side. I still have my right ovaries and tube.

I am not coping at all well at the moment, I have gone through the process of being thankfull that I am alive as it would appear that it happended so quickly that if I'd have been at home I wouldn't have made it. To coping with the loss of my baby.

I came out of hospital on Monday, but was back in yesterday as I kept feeling faint, my blood count is rising again, so thats a postive.

How do I cope with this, other people who go through the same surgery as me have a baby to show for it, I have nothing.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me.

I have been lying on the settee all day watching rubbish and feeling totally useless. I don't quite know what to do with myself. Dh just came home and made me some lunch and before he went back out stripped the bed and put the washing on, I don't even have the energy to walk upstairs.

My sister in collecting dd & ds from school today and taking them back to hers for tea. I'm waffling now and don't quite know what to say, but wanted to respond to your well wishes.

One thing it has made me realise is, is that although I was unsure in the start about this PG (the usual worries - money, coping etc) now its not here, I want it so bad, if I can have more, I will try again, the material things just don't mean anything anymore, life and love is all that is important to me right now and I think I have enough of that to make me a happy person without all the fancy bits that go with it. I will just have to wait unitl I can physically and mentally manage to try again.

Sorry to get upset, it help to write it all down

golds, I'm so sorry .

Please take good care of yourself to ensure your body recovers xxxx.

Golds I had an ectopic in Nov, only knew I was preg the day before, spotting and then woke at 5am with massive pain and shoulder pain - was in ambulance and urgent surgery.
I have both ovaries and one tube left, I had massive internal bleeding too.
I have 2 children at home, they saw me through it, knowing that it could have killed me made me less sentimental about the loss of the baby, despite we had been trying for 16 mths.
I'm back trying for another now.
I found the pain and physical after effects (pain when coughing sneezing laughing) trapped wind (agony) and just the scar and lack of mobility a nightmare.
Also an ectopic cut is a little more invasive than a CS my consultant told me as I wondered who on earth one would cope with a new baby and this pain.

I found that 3-4 weeks after the surgery when I could drive again I started to feel better, although it was ages before I could steer a supermarket trolley (bloody things)
Have you tried the ectopic trust messageboard, it is a truly wonderful place to express these feelings.
Take care, it will get easier but it might take some time
xxxxx

Just wondered if you are doing OK.
Don't feel bad about doing nothing at the moment. You need to take some time out to start to recover. I'm glad your DH is looking after you.
Be gentle with yourself.
{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hi Golds I had an ectopic 5 years ago unexpected as I was booked in for infertikity tests so whent from joy of beingpg to being told it was ectopic in 12 hrs - I later went on to have a baby I found it v traumatic adn held a memorial service for my baby and this helped me alot also once the physical signs had worn off I felt a bit better time heals in that you develop coping strategies be kind to yourself xx

Oh golds, I am so sorry. You poor girl. xx

I'm OK tonight thank you, very sore and a bit frustrated that everything is a struggle to do. Mentally I think I'm not to bad, I seem to get emotional when I talk about it, people seem to have left me alone today which is helping a bit, I know they are there for me if I need them.

Sorry to hear this golds, big hugs to you and hope things go your way soon.

hi Golds, sounds like a rollercoaster ride of mixed emotions, i had an ectopic 12 years ago after trying for two years too, i lost a tube and the baby, six weeks later i was pregnant with twins who were six weeks early so were born the same time as i should have been having the first baby so a bit of a rollercoaster, i than had a m/c then had DS so dont give up, when your ready try again.

golds I am so sorry that you have had to go through this.I had an ectopic nearly 3 years ago & it is a horrible,horrible thing to have to go through.My poor dh was terrified that I'd die & was so thankful that I made it,that he didn't really mourn the baby we'd lost like I did.

I can echo the other posters & reccomend the E ctopic Pregnancy Trust website.They were an absolute lifeline for me & understood exactly how I was feeling.

I was lucky enough to concieve dd shortly afterwards & am now 35wks pregnant again,so an ectopic is not the end of your fertility.I think the statistics are that 60% of women will go on to concieve again in the following 12 months.

www.ectopic.org is the place to check out the facts & figures,they have a fab helpline too & can put you in touch with a 'buddy' who has been through the same thing & lives locally,should you need it.

I'm sending you a gentle hug.((((())))))

I too had an eptopic and it is a terrible thing to go through. This may seem harsh but I always thought a miscarriage would be easier (I havent ever had a miscarriage), you have still lost a baby but with an eptopic you have the surgery to get over as well a possible future infertility problems.

But dont worry too much about trying to conceive another, easier said than done I know.

I initially had IVF as we couldnt conceive, 2 lots of IVF failed then I fell pregnant naturally which sadly turned out to be eptopic. After that I went for another IVF which worked and had a gorgous daughter, then fell pregnant again with another lovely daughter. So god knows where that leaves me and my fertility....

Anyway, heres thinking of you, take it easy and give yourself some time to grieve for your loss. I think its easy for other people not to remember with an eptopic pregnancy that a baby was involved too. And your dh sounds wonderful....

Afternoon everybody - last night I was totally exhausted after doing not a lot. I had a bath and went to bed, before bathing I noticed my wound was weeping, so this morning dh took me to see the nurse at our local surgery.

She confirmed that it was weeping and was completely astounded that the hospital had already taken out my staples, which in her opinion was too early. She had told me to look out for a fever which may indicate infection. I have to go again tomorrow for another check and dressing change. I asked about bathing and she said that I shouldn't bath as the wound hadn't healed, whereas the hospital said it would be OK. Who can you trust ???

I wanted to go for a little walk this morning and go with dh to take the kids to school, he wouldn't let me and I'm glad I didn't as on the way back from the Docs we stopped off at the polling station and I could barely walk.

I keep feeling all emotional which is to be expected, but its not all aimed at the loss of the baby, I just can't believe how close I came to death and its frightened the life out of me.

everybody I know keeps being nice to me and as a person with incredibly low self esteem its astounding to realise how many people care. It has really taken me back, blimey I am important afterall. Dh continues to be great I am very lucky to have him.

I have scanned through the ectopic trust website - thank you, I will have a more detailed look later.

Many thanks for your support and its lovely to hear all your success stories following your ectopics.

hope your feeing a little better today,still thinking of you xx eb xx

thank you

You've got such a lot to cope with all at once, haven't you? God knows I felt dreadful after miscarrying, but to have the aftermath of the op, and the possibility of infection and all the rest of it.... I hope you get a bit better each day, golds.

Oh Golds, you poor thing. How awful to have something else to worry about after all that has happened this week. I do hope that you are not in too much pain.

Just let your DH take care of you. It sounds as though you really do need to take it very easy for a while.
xx

golds please take it easy-you have had a major operation & a traumatic experience.

I hope the sun shines again for you soon.

hope you are ok golds, take it easy, as you have had serious abdominal surgery.

I'm amazed so many share golds' experience.

Ref: bathing etc. I'd err on the side of caution and hold off...

Hope you get a decent sleep.

Thinking of you.

I know what you mean about the near death experience, that also shocked me. I was quite upset after the operation and a really nice young male doctor had a talk with me and basically said I was lucky to be here. That kind of put everything else into perspective.

Golds, my wound came apart a little while it was stapled, the district nurse came and butterfy sutured it shut and put a big waterproof dressing over it so I could shower, she advised no bath because of possibility of bacteria harboured elsewhere on your body getting into the bathwater and infecting you. this is down to MSRA as well as it is carried benignly by lots of people - not to freak you out, but to explain the logic behind not bathing
I think once the wound is fully sealed you are fine and what a lovely thing it is too, although I needed pulling out
HTH and take care, do not try to do too much, if you're like me you'll take a good 5-6 weeks before you can tackle anything remotely ordinary.
Although desperation at DH's cooking had me back at the oven pdq after mum had gone back home.
Do keep an eye on your temp too.
Hugs
xx

thanks Piffle, that really helps.

District nurse has just left and in her opinion it does look infected. Swab taken on Thursday will be back on Monday. She is visiting again tomorrow and has left many different numbers should I start to feel unwell.

I keep feeling OK and then I do something and it completely wacks me out. Hopefully will be on the mend soon.

Hope all is oks Golds, I was on a really heft antibiotic due to a urine infection (from catheter) so my wound never stood a chance of getting infected!
Hope you had a lazy restful weekend and feel better this week.
xx

Golds,how are you feeling today?
YOU MUST REST,TAKE IT EASY AND TRY NOT TO DO TOO MUCH.....You will have good days and bad days,but you only have bad days because you do to much on your good days....Trust me I know it makes sense..........
Just keeping an eye out for you{so to speak}
Take care love eb xx