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Original poster

My Eptopic nightmare

58 replies

golds · 04/05/2005 07:49

Quick run through what happened.

I was approx 6 weeks PG when 2 weeks ago I had a slight bleed, worrying about it I went along to my local A&E, they said it was probably a threatened M/C and book me in for a scan on the Mon morning, when I went for the scan, no baby was to be seen. That day I had my bloods taken, then again on the Wednesday and again on the Friday, my HCG levels where doubling nicely and the nurse said, that I was OK and probably just got my dates wrong. To be on the safe side she book me in for another scan last Friday.

On Friday morning I woke to severe stomach and back pain, running the loo etc etc (you get the picture) I though I'd got bad wind !, so I ignored this and went along to my scan as normal at 2pm. The sonorgrapher (Sp?) realised something was up and I was escorted to the Gynae Ward. The doctor came and examined me and said he was pretty sure I had a eptopic PG and a space had been booked in theatre that evening. Things then got worse and I started developing a pain in my right shoulder (classic syptoms apparently) and started to pass out, surgery was brought forward and I was rushed in at 4pm.

My eptopic had ruptured and I had lost 1ltr of blood, they took away the PG and all of my left side. I still have my right ovaries and tube.

I am not coping at all well at the moment, I have gone through the process of being thankfull that I am alive as it would appear that it happended so quickly that if I'd have been at home I wouldn't have made it. To coping with the loss of my baby.

I came out of hospital on Monday, but was back in yesterday as I kept feeling faint, my blood count is rising again, so thats a postive.

How do I cope with this, other people who go through the same surgery as me have a baby to show for it, I have nothing.

OP posts:
throckenholt · 04/05/2005 07:53

hugs - that must be such a shock both physically and mentally.

I haven't been through it but have a friend who has.

Others have gone on the successfully have a baby - so don't give up hope.

lilsmum · 04/05/2005 07:54

oh golds, i am soo sorry

i havent got any advice really, but i am sure someone who has will post soon. so will give it a bump up for you.

expatinscotland · 04/05/2005 07:57

Golds
So very sorry to read this. (((HUGS))) and thoughts for a good recovery.

george32 · 04/05/2005 07:59

Golds, how terrible & how frightening for you. I'm so glad you were at the hospital.
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
xxx

sobernow · 04/05/2005 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dramaqueen72 · 04/05/2005 08:16

Golds, I'm so sorry this happen, how very scary and frightening for you and yours. I hope you find some comfort from the online m/c sites, i know they were a help to me, i'm sure there must be a ectopic support site too.
take care and be kind to yourself.

Original poster
golds · 04/05/2005 08:17

Can't even spell ectopic properly

It was very frightening and I keep going over in my head what if's ? I know it sound harsh but when I was in hospital the loss of the baby didn't really effect me, I was more concerned about how luck I was. Just imagine if I hadn't had that little bleed in the first place which in turn resulted in a couple of scans.

As soon as I left, I then started to realise the loss, I feel very sorry for my dh as he has had to deal with everything, first of all the thought of nearly losing me, keeping dd and ds in order and the loss of his bay too.

He has been fantastic, he even hired a carpet cleaning ehilst I was in hospital so he could blitz the house so I nothing to worry about when I came home.

Dd and DS have also been brilliant and so have family. At least I have got them. My staples came out yesterday, so that has made walking abit easier, but I can't drive for 6 weeks or do too much, the hospital has prescribed rubbish daytime TV for a while.

Thanks for you well wishes, MN is a great place, its nice to know I can come here and talk, as very soon, if I keep going on about it people in RL may start to avoid me.

OP posts:
Nemo1977 · 04/05/2005 08:21

golds hun huge hugs to u ..i am so sorry this has happened, make sure you rest and look after yourself. I am glad you were in the right place to get help though

elliedragon · 04/05/2005 08:25

Golds I am so sorry to hear this. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I remember you as the first person I spoke to on here and I saw you on the December thread and was really routing for you. It must have been a real rollercoaster for you over the last couple of weeks and I really hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

sweetheart · 04/05/2005 08:54

Golds, I'm so sad to hear your news. It sounds like an absolutly terrible ordeal.

You can drive yourself mad thinking of all the what if's but in the end you will drive yourself crazy doing this. Just be thankful that you were in the right place at the right time. I don't know if you believe in fate or such things but I hope it offers some comfort if I say this obviously wasn't "your time" to go and someone has bigger and better plans for you - lets hope these include another little babby in the future.

I found my dh a great source of comfort and support when we lost our last litttle bean and knowing I was helping him too got me through - I'm sure you'll also find that you have to carry on for your kids which can sometimes be the thing that pulls you through.

I'll be thinking of you and your family - hold them close and love them to death - the pain does get easier.
love sh xxx

snafuhunkersnafumunker · 04/05/2005 09:18

Golds, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I had an ectopic several years ago and had almost exactly the same experience as you. It is absolutely terrifying and I can completely identify with your feelings of being lucky to be alive, whilst dealing with the loss of your baby. I would really recommend trying to get some form of bereavement or m/c counselling as you will find it so helpful to talk it through.

I hope it might be some small consolation to you to know that my right tube was removed but I had no problem with conceiving ds. You will pull through this even if it doesn't feel like it right now, take it one day at a time and keep talking. Your dh sounds fab - lean on him. Look after yourself xx

HRHDuchessofPeahead · 04/05/2005 09:18

oh golds poor you. I'm so glad you were in the right place when the rupture happened, and I'm sure that is what your dh is focussing on as well.
You have just as much chance of having another baby as you did before - except you will only be fertile once every 2 months, not once a month (and this doesn't mean your chances are half IKWIM!). For an example of a high profile person who has been through exactly the same as you, and has since had a baby, look at Sophie Wessex.
But look after yourself. I think the m/c counselling sounds like a good idea. xx

snafu · 04/05/2005 09:20

Ooops, forgot to change my name back

kangel · 04/05/2005 09:22

Golds, I am so so sorry to hear your news!!

You have to spend time grieving and then when you are ready look on the positive side that you still have one side left ~ remember it only takes 1 egg and 1 swimmer to make it!!!

You have been through a huge ordeal and should rest up and be with your family, it will take time but it will get easier. Thank God that you are ok!!

Remeber we are all here for you!! Heaps of love and hugs!! ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

coppertop · 04/05/2005 09:22

I'm so sorry, golds. xxx

SoupDragon · 04/05/2005 09:30

Hope you make a speedy recovery.

MINNIE1 · 04/05/2005 09:50

Golds,

I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through. i can only imagine the pain and shock that all arrived at once. Rest up and were all here for you. Thinking of you..

Marina · 04/05/2005 09:52

Golds, I'm so sorry to hear this.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Someone at the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust , or at the Miscarriage Association , might be able to help you find a counsellor to talk to about your experiences. Losing a baby must be doubly hard when your life was in so much peril, I should think.

jangus · 04/05/2005 09:53

I'm so sorry that you have been through this golds. I hope that you make a good recovery, emotionally and physically.
I just want to mention that I only have one (damaged) ovary and I was able to get pregnant and carry full term. The doctor told me at the time that when you just have one ovary, it will do the job of two no bother.
I hope someone with experience will see this thread and give you some advice/support.
xxxxx

ebbie22 · 04/05/2005 10:12

Oh Golds,how are you feeling today,My heart goes out to you and as I type tears are freely dropping....I wish I could take the pain away and I too have one ovary and one tube,So I half know what you are going through,If you want to email me or cat just let me know And I will do my best to be here for you......
Just remember to allow time to heal,outside nd ibnside your body...I used to feel like a faliure,but now i know that scars are just old wounds that have healed....It will take time,but you will get there.....And you are alive and will fight back I dont know you but I know you have it in you xxxxxx

ebbie22 · 04/05/2005 10:13

And please always remember,one tube that works is always better than two that dont...xxxx

mummylonglegs · 04/05/2005 10:42

golds, I had an ectopic pregnancy 5 years ago. I'd just met dp and didn't have any intention of getting pregnant at that time. The first I knew of it was an extended 'period' which was unusually painful. I did a preg. test which was positive so the gp sent me to the hospital, had a scan etc. and they all thought I was having a miscarriage. Because my HCG levels were going up and up I had to keep going back until one morning, like you, I woke up with awful pain. I tried to ignore it but ended up rushing to hospital in a cab with dp and then straight into theatre and lost my left fallopian tube. Like you, immediately afterwards I was just relieved I hadn't died from it, but in the weeks and months afterwards I began to get very low about it. Partly because I started realising it was a 'pregnancy' and partly because I realised how precarious life can be. When I got pregnant again 2 years ago I had to have a scan early on to make sure this one was in the 'right place', then went on to have a beautiful, healthy dd, so all wasn't lost.

Lua · 04/05/2005 10:48

Golds! What an emotional roller coaster you have been put through!!! JUst want to let you know I am thinking about you, and sending lots of positive nergy so you can get through this horrible time!

ChaCha · 04/05/2005 11:51

Thinking of you Golds and sending you massive hugs (((H U G S)))
Your strength and courage has been a support and will be a support for anyone having gone through a similar experience - Keep your chin up and concentrate on lots of rest and TLC. Your DH sounds great..love xxxxx

Spacecadet · 04/05/2005 12:27

golds, im so sorry, my friend had an ectopic preg 18 years ago, shewas preg with twins, one in the tube and one on the womb, it went undiagnosed until 12 weeks when it ruptured and she nearly died, the good news is that she fell preg again very quickly afterwards and now has a dd who is17 and a ds who is 11, so there is hope, as long as you have one tube left and a functioning ovary you should have no probs getting preg, another friend of mine also had an ectopic and went on to have a ds who is now 8 months, if you fall preg again, they will not take risks and you will get an internal scan at 6 weeks, im so sorry thishas happened though, sending you lotsand lots of {{hugs}}