Am in bits at hearing how DH is having to do all the palliative care for MIL who has terminal cancer...he's really going through it :-(

[PussinJimmyWhoooos]

As some of you know by now, my MIL is in the M.East with terminal liver cancer that has spread to pancreas and bile duct

Mum called DH on my behalf tonight (I'm deaf) to get a proper update as texting just doesn't get info over and OMG... The hopsitals over there will not take patients if they know they are dying (no hospices) and so all the pain managment is being done at home

MIL has an infection and DH is having to administer IV antibiotics himself via canula and says he has to go very slow as it burns apparently and can take 20 mins each time for it all to go in...she is diabetic and her glucose is very high and she started to convulse this am (due to infection or diabetes - they are not sure) while DH was taking her temperature and he had to fight to get it out before she cracked it and the mercury came out.....he managed it and she brightened up later..

He is in bits....my mum sobbed after putting the phone down at what they are going through and my heart is aching as no palliative care when you are dealing with grief must be so awful... She isn't getting any quality of life now and I find myself thinking its better for her if its sooner rather than later as what DH described is awful....wish could send a Mac nurse over there to take care of it all.....am in a right state!

Aww Dillo, thanks for that but am still in Plymouth. Dr has signed me off for this week and next week as the stress of everything has made my tinitus really bad - its horrible. Glad to be with family and have help but its still hard going. Dh is due back this Sunday but I think he will have to extend his ticket. Understand why of course but

oh sweetheart

remember it is going to be hard on you as well supporting your dh through this, so remember to take things easily.

I have some fridays off in november so if you fancy meeting up then, let me know.

Aww - thanks all for your lovely messages. I should resign myself to the fact that he will be changing his ticket and then I'll stop hoping that I'll see him this weekend!

Woke up today expecting bad news from DH - but she was up and about and eating breakfast....my nerves can't take anymore of this!

Heck she's a fighter isn't she!!

Hope the chocolate helped have some more!

he will be extending his stay...cant help but feel this will never end atm..

Oh Puss, you must feel all over the place and wondering when he'll be home

(My DH is away too if you want to share chocolate )

can you go over there to be with him?

aww sidge - where is your DH?

Can't go over there because DH didn't want us there - too much hassle for him and lets face it, wouldn't be fair on DS as couldn't take him out much etc...better that we didn't go

He's in the Navy Puss, so he's floating around somewhere (dunno where!)

So not the same as your situation obviously, but I can empathise at the separation.

Oh blimey Sidge...I have nothing but admiration for forces wives who do this...I couldn't! How do you do it?

Hiya Herbie - weird how they go from bad to good and back again...its bloody stressful and all! Not helped by DH not texting much as 'my cousin and my brother are here' even though I said I was feeling blue and would have liked a text chat! I got so annoyed I just text back ok.nite.mwah and now no reply...wish could have male mentality towards separation rather than staring manically at phone in manner of Glenn Close with Bunny or similar

Puss I've done it for so many years now it's my norm

It's not a life I planned to choose but you can't help who you fall in love with eh?! I just keep busy, read a lot, watch what I want on the TV - oh, and spend far too much time on MN And the homecomings are sweet...

Herbie - sorry to hear about your nan.

Herbie - how is your nan today?

Oh Herbie I am so sorry to hear that

Is she near you? Can you visit her?

She is lucky to have you all and to be so loved I hope her end is peaceful and you can draw comfort from all the lovely memories you have of her and the special part she obviously played in your life.

Herbie - am so so sorry to hear this (I'm disabled too btw - profoundly deaf). I hope the morphine eases her pain and that the last days are quiet and dignified. Feel free to CAT me if you want to chat off line. Am thinking of you

[squeezes puss and herbies hands]

Aww Herbie - thanks for asking. Let me know how your Nan is. MIL had two good days but DH said she had cold sweats and had to go to bed after lunch so he was ...its back to watch this space...but then, she keeps going downhill and then perking up so I'm starting, as awful as what it sounds, to get used to it and not taking it that serious but maybe this could be the start of the final down part...who knows? DH sounds very depressed...