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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

My beautiful cousin Jay

22 replies

Jux · 09/09/2008 20:46

My lovely lovely cousin collapsed on Saturday morning with a brain haemorrhage and died on Sunday. He was 39. He had just met the woman he wanted to spend his life with; they had just found the perfect house. He was a most exceptional person, warm, funny and so full of vitality that none of us can really understand life without him. He was dh's soulmate/bf. DD was going to marry him when she grew up. We are bereft. A light has gone out and our world is a little bit darker.

OP posts:

Marina · 09/09/2008 20:48

Jux I am incredibly sorry. A friend lost her partner in similar circumstances at what should have been the happiest time in their lives too. He was 44. I know what a horrific shock it is. Sending you sincere sympathies.

onepieceoflollipop · 09/09/2008 20:48

Jux so so sorry for your loss.

What an awful shock for your family, your dh and your cousin's dp.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 09/09/2008 20:49

Jux I am so sorry.

RubySlippers · 09/09/2008 20:49

am sorry for your loss

what an awful thing to happen

dizzydixies · 09/09/2008 20:49

am so sorry for your loss jux
I lost my beautiful cousin 11yrs ago and still think of her often

be kind to each other during this sad sad time

MmeLindt · 09/09/2008 20:51

How awful, Jux. My condolences to you and your family.

DisasterArea · 09/09/2008 20:53

am so sorry.

Sidge · 09/09/2008 20:54

I am so sorry your beloved cousin has died

I wish you peace and strength.

Salleroo · 09/09/2008 20:59

my heart goes out to you and your family

Original poster

Jux · 09/09/2008 21:23

Thank you. Almost everyone in the town knew him. We are lost in an unfamiliar landscape. DH has spent two days in tears and can barely speak. A thousand would not be sufficient. I must go to bed, I am exhausted and rambling stupidly.

OP posts:

ChacunaSonGout · 09/09/2008 21:28

i really feel for you and yours jux x

shatteredmumsrus · 09/09/2008 21:35

This happened to my friend. He was 33 at the time with 2 small children and a wife - a horrific shock. My next door neighbour also collapsed and was taken to hospital and never came home. A terribly hard thing to acccept xxx

tibni · 09/09/2008 21:37

sending you and your family best wishes at this sad time

everlong · 09/09/2008 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes · 09/09/2008 22:06

so sorry for your loss

Evenstar · 09/09/2008 23:28

Sorry for your loss, the shock in itself is very hard to cope with when someone dies suddenly at such a young age and you will probably find that you are struggling to believe that it is true for some time yet. Thinking of you and wishing you strength.

Original poster

Jux · 10/09/2008 20:54

I just found out today that his dad had to pull the plug. I nearly vomited.

OP posts:

onepieceoflollipop · 10/09/2008 20:56

Jux how devastating for his dad to have to go through that.

Hulababy · 10/09/2008 20:58

So sorry x

Original poster

Jux · 11/09/2008 10:41

Yes, his dad is a great guy. The family had just come to terms with their mother's sudden death about 6 months ago, too. The whole thing stinks. I don't know how I would cope in the same circumstances - mother then brother/son. We're finding it hard enough, and I have never seen dh like this. All my mum can say is that it is for the best (which in one way is right), and I know he went out after a fantastic night at a great time of his life, and perhaps it would have been downhill from there, but it doesn't help much. His poor poor partner.

Thank you all for your sympathy. I am sorry I keep batting on about it.

OP posts:

orangehead · 11/09/2008 10:44

so sorry jux

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 11/09/2008 10:46

jux im so sorry. we lost my uncle not long ago in similar circumstances.

we also had to stop the life support but he still clung on. doctors said there was no hope and there was nothing they could do but ease his pain. he passed away eventually by drowning from fluid on his lungs. i didnt see him but my father said it was heartbreaking to watch and he still has nightmares about it.

i hope his dad doesnt feel responsible over having to switch it off? it really was for the best if he was in any condition like my uncle.

wishing you and your family strength to get through this. it is always a great shock when some one passes suddenly x

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