How do we explain 'death' to a 4 yo??

[Pheebe]

DH's aunty has died suddenly. For various reasons we're going to have to take both dss with us to the funeral (ds1 is 4 and ds2 is 10 months).

How do we explain this all to ds1? He doesn't really remember her that well but I feel we need to give him some sort of explanation of whats going on especially as DH and I are going to be upset as we were all quite close.

Pheebe sorry to hear about your loss. We are in a similar position - going to a family funeral next week with dd1 4.7 years and dd2 12 months.

We are going to tell dd1 that uncle was poorly and has now sadly died, and people will be sad. We are telling her that we are all going to a service (funeral) so that people can remember what lovely times they had with him, but some of us will be sad. Then we are going back to Auntie's house for a snack and a chat.

She kind of understands a little bit about death as various pets have passed away. Sorry if that sounds disrespectful (putting about pets when we are talking about people) but ime this has helped her to get her head round it a bit more.

Thanks, sorry to hear about yours also. We're still reeling from it a bit and its hard to find the words really. I do like your explanation, I think thats enough at his age
thanks again

This is a good site

Winstons Wish are very good
www.winstonswish.org.uk/
and this book is good too
www.amazon.co.uk/Death-Miss-You-First-Look/dp/0340911069/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220103280&s r=8-2

Thank you both, these are really helpful

sorry for your loss, I think it will be enough to explain that they were very poorly and that they couldn't be made better and that there body stopped working, you could say that because their body stopped working they don't need it anymore and explain about the funeral. My kids seemed to understand that, also said that we won't ever see the person who died again but we can remember then in our heads and talk about them.

Thanks oj thats really helpful too, I'm starting to get the words together in my head now

We told dd that when you die you become a star. Well, eventually you do, anyway - we're all made of cosmic dust. That was good for her when she was about this age.

Sorry about your dh's aunt.