BIG DILEMMA - Do let my 7yo son attend his grandfathers funeral?

[shatteredmumsrus]

He has suddenly died of cancer aged 52 and it has happened so quickly that it was a big shock to my son. They were extremely close, staying over every weekend and gong for tea every Wednesday. He was a major influence in his life. Funeral is next Friday, do i let him go?He is a mature and sensible boy but I really dont know what to do for the best. Help???

I'm glad your services went well. I think trying to hide adult pain from children is a bad thing, and even though it may be traumatic I think it can also be a cathartic experience. My (step) niece died a few years ago, and there were lots of children at the funeral (she was in her twenties and had lots of family and friends with children). We took my two children, who would have been about 5 and 7 at the time. My brother's partner's family are African and were very open about their grief, which the children did find upsetting, but being bereaved is upsetting. Perhaps it would be better if we all expressed ourselves more in grief.

It was also one of the most moving and uplifting experiences I have had, and I am very glad that the children were there. dd got upset for a little while afterwards, but quickly conflated dn's death with the death of our cat. I didn't take them in to see the body lying in state because personally I find that quite upsetting and strange (I avoided doing this with dh's mother who died long before the children were even thought about). I do think it is important to help children with their own ways to say goodbye and show their feelings.

I agree we cany hide them from these things. It helps them grow and develop even tho its not easy xxx

Would definately let him go. I think children should go to funerals, I think we keep death/dying too hidden away in this country.
I went to my Grandfather's funeral when I was a girl, was 9 or 10, and am glad I went even though it was very sad.

im glad i took ds

im glad i took ds

shattered - yes.I'm sure it was the right thing to do - certainly think it was for ds and nooka is spot on in her post.
lots of love to you & ds

Sorry I didn't read all of the thread and see the funeral has happened. Also think it was the right thing to do. Hope you are all doing ok.

Thankyou

Thankyou

Thankyou

Oh how sad for you and your family, I hope you're all okay.