My cousin has had a stillbirth at 27 weeks

[hoxtonchick]

i am so so sad for them. it was their first baby. she developed pre-eclampsia, is in intensive care but the baby died. we don't really know any details, everyone is in shock. i'm going to send a card tomorrow, but am at a loss what to do. we're not particularly close. also, i'm 19 weeks pregnant & neurotic as hell. but feel bad thinking about myself.

hugs to your family and to you, don't feel bad thinking about yourself its only natural {{HUGS}}

From talking mainly to Marina, I think the main thing is to be there for them (insofar, obviously, as you feel able to when you're pregnant yourself); and not, I think to assume that they won't want anything to do with you because you're pregnant. I am so sorry, for all of you. I've done a little bit on pre-eclampsia - it's horrible.

very sad .

Oh how tragic. I'm so sorry.

oh babe, i am so so sorry
just be ready to be there, I know people on here say SANDs are v good. oh lord, how awful. xxxx

So sorry about your news

We also had bad news this weekend. DH's grandad's wifes grandaughter (who we have met a few times and BIL/SIL know very well) los her baby this weekend. She went in yesterday as she hadn't fel the baby move. The baby had died She was 41 weeks (and a bit). Baby was due beginning of February. She went in today to be induced. It is so sad and horrible.

thank you all. maybe i will ring next week. don't want to make a fool of myself & burst into tears though.

She might get in touch with the local SANDS group. They have a website too, if you want to read a bit around it. We lost a baby at 35 weeks and amongst the bad experiences was his brief existence being ignored by some in the family, especially the family of a pregnant cousin, as if stillbirth was catching or something.

how awful for you cristina. thank you for the insight. i will definitely get in touch in that case.

I don't think you'd be making a fool of yourself at all by crying! Anything but!

bursting into tears might be ok, though. it's very sad after all. i was the one who asked a mum at the nursery how she was getting on - not knowing her son had died after 3 days..and I was the one who cried, she was marvellous.

Please do, HC. Hugs. Cristina

MI & bundle, i partly posted this as i could see you were both around & knew you'd know what to say. xxx

Oh, how sad, hoxtonchick. And, fwiw, I don't think it would be foolish to cry at all. So soory.

'Sorry', of course

Message withdrawn

hc, was in the park with the woman from the nursery yesterday after ballet. she'd already had a baby (and another since) but knows many people thru sands who had no positive experience of birth and found it v traumatic. she said the nearest sands group to her (n16) tho is in s.london. she's thinking of setting up a group/writing a book but finds the stuff she does already draining enough (on her time with her family and her emotional energy). it's so sad that there aren't more resources for people affected by neonatal death.

I have been told their is another support organisation called MISS

hula, sorry i missed what you'd said. that's really sad

terrible news for you too hula.

they live up in manchester bundle. would it be bossy for me to do some research for them?

I'd missed it too. Oh, I am sorry.

No, it wouldn't be bossy. It would be useful, and you wouldn't have to give them the information if they didn't need it, and it would be a practical thing that I'm sure they can't spare the resources for at the moment.