Too upset to think of a thread title

[ShinyPinkShoes]

but have just got back from the hospital where a relative died a few hours ago. I was with him at the end and it has reignited all sorts of feelings from when my Dad died several years ago. As a result I am in a bit of a state and can't seem to calm down.

Is anyone free to chat?

[wrinklytum]

Chat away.You poor thing.

[jonamum]

Im here and listening. So sorry

[Evenstar]

I'm here too, so sorry for your loss, was it a very close relative?

[cluelessnchaos]

me too,

[ShinyPinkShoes]

My stepdad.

It was so awful, and I tried so hard to be strong for the rest of my family but have got home alone and just lost it

[shirleyghostman]

I am here, shite isn't it?

[TotalChaos]

very sorry your stepdad has died.

[Evenstar]

It's all right to lose it now, you have been strong for everyone else now you need to cry, I will be here for a while if you feel like talking.

[shirleyghostman]

Did you know he was ill?

[AbstractMouse]

Oh it's just awful, did my head in. So sorry for your current and previous loss. Do you have anyone with you?

[ShinyPinkShoes]

Thank you.

I am usually the coper, the sorter-outer for everyone else. I need to try and get myself together enough to be that for them all tomorrow.

This is really, really shit

[AbstractMouse]

Can you try to get some sleep? Or are you you too adrenaline filled.

[Thelighthousekeeper]

I'm so sorry your Stepdad has died. Thinking of you.

[cluelessnchaos]

Thats the trouble with being the coper though, it takes a lot of bloody energy and you need someone at some point just to say, are you ok, you will be ok, but you need to get it allout.

[ShinyPinkShoes]

I feel so sick to my stomach and have an awful headache the thought of sleep is unlikely but I should try soon I suppose.

I need to be able to function tomorrow. So much to do

[cluelessnchaos]

Do you want to talk about what happened there tonight?

[Evenstar]

Is someone with you? Could they make you a cup of tea and sit with you?

[NorthernLurker]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Can I make a practical suggestion? If you are trying to sleep it may help to have a radio on low in the background. Speech works better than music ime so try Radio 4 or 5. It gives you brain something to do and can help you to switch off.

[ShinyPinkShoes]

I am on my own.

I thought it better I came home, being honest I knew I needed to just lose it. Was hoping I could get it out of my system, then sort myself out and be in my normal coping, helpful doing mode tomorrow

Not the best of plans it seems.

He just looked so, so sick and ill yet the end when it came was ok, as in peaceful.

We really weren't expecting this so its come as a bit of a shock.

[Evenstar]

My iPod on low helps me to sleep. Please don't feel that you must shoulder this for everyone, even copers sometimes need a helping hand themselves.

[thumbwitch]

so sorry for your loss, just dreadful for you. I would recommend rescue remedy but it's a bit late to be trying to get hold of some unless you have an openminded 24hr pharmacy near you - it works really well for reducing shock and upset feelings - Dad and I used it to good effect last year when Mum died. At least it will help you to sleep and bring back some balance.

[ShinyPinkShoes]

Thank you all by the way.

I almost didnt post this but none of my msn contacts were online at the time and I really needed to talk.

This is helping me a lot.

[Evenstar]

Second the Rescue Remedy if you have any in the house, perhaps a milky drink if you can face it. I am sorry you don't have anyone there, but we are all here for you.

[ShinyPinkShoes]

I do have some recue remedy actually.

I also have gin but maybe thats not such a god idea

[cluelessnchaos]

You know you dont need to be the coper tommorow, everyone would understand if you werent.