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Bereavement

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Original poster

Too upset to think of a thread title

52 replies

ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:22

but have just got back from the hospital where a relative died a few hours ago. I was with him at the end and it has reignited all sorts of feelings from when my Dad died several years ago. As a result I am in a bit of a state and can't seem to calm down.

Is anyone free to chat?

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 05/08/2008 23:24

Chat away.You poor thing.

jonamum · 05/08/2008 23:25

Im here and listening. So sorry

Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:26

I'm here too, so sorry for your loss, was it a very close relative?

cluelessnchaos · 05/08/2008 23:26

me too,

Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:29

My stepdad.

It was so awful, and I tried so hard to be strong for the rest of my family but have got home alone and just lost it

OP posts:
shirleyghostman · 05/08/2008 23:29

I am here, shite isn't it?

TotalChaos · 05/08/2008 23:31

very sorry your stepdad has died.

Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:31

It's all right to lose it now, you have been strong for everyone else now you need to cry, I will be here for a while if you feel like talking.

shirleyghostman · 05/08/2008 23:31

Did you know he was ill?

AbstractMouse · 05/08/2008 23:31

Oh it's just awful, did my head in. So sorry for your current and previous loss. Do you have anyone with you?

Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:32

Thank you.

I am usually the coper, the sorter-outer for everyone else. I need to try and get myself together enough to be that for them all tomorrow.

This is really, really shit

OP posts:
AbstractMouse · 05/08/2008 23:33

Can you try to get some sleep? Or are you you too adrenaline filled.

Thelighthousekeeper · 05/08/2008 23:35

I'm so sorry your Stepdad has died. Thinking of you.

cluelessnchaos · 05/08/2008 23:35

Thats the trouble with being the coper though, it takes a lot of bloody energy and you need someone at some point just to say, are you ok, you will be ok, but you need to get it allout.

Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:35

I feel so sick to my stomach and have an awful headache the thought of sleep is unlikely but I should try soon I suppose.

I need to be able to function tomorrow. So much to do

OP posts:
cluelessnchaos · 05/08/2008 23:36

Do you want to talk about what happened there tonight?

Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:38

Is someone with you? Could they make you a cup of tea and sit with you?

NorthernLurker · 05/08/2008 23:39

I'm so sorry for your loss

Can I make a practical suggestion? If you are trying to sleep it may help to have a radio on low in the background. Speech works better than music ime so try Radio 4 or 5. It gives you brain something to do and can help you to switch off.

Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:41

I am on my own.

I thought it better I came home, being honest I knew I needed to just lose it. Was hoping I could get it out of my system, then sort myself out and be in my normal coping, helpful doing mode tomorrow

Not the best of plans it seems.

He just looked so, so sick and ill yet the end when it came was ok, as in peaceful.

We really weren't expecting this so its come as a bit of a shock.

OP posts:
Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:41

My iPod on low helps me to sleep. Please don't feel that you must shoulder this for everyone, even copers sometimes need a helping hand themselves.

thumbwitch · 05/08/2008 23:42

so sorry for your loss, just dreadful for you. I would recommend rescue remedy but it's a bit late to be trying to get hold of some unless you have an openminded 24hr pharmacy near you - it works really well for reducing shock and upset feelings - Dad and I used it to good effect last year when Mum died. At least it will help you to sleep and bring back some balance.

Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:42

Thank you all by the way.

I almost didnt post this but none of my msn contacts were online at the time and I really needed to talk.

This is helping me a lot.

OP posts:
Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:44

Second the Rescue Remedy if you have any in the house, perhaps a milky drink if you can face it. I am sorry you don't have anyone there, but we are all here for you.

Original poster
ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:44

I do have some recue remedy actually.

I also have gin but maybe thats not such a god idea

OP posts:
cluelessnchaos · 05/08/2008 23:45

You know you dont need to be the coper tommorow, everyone would understand if you werent.