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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Too upset to think of a thread title

52 replies

ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:22

but have just got back from the hospital where a relative died a few hours ago. I was with him at the end and it has reignited all sorts of feelings from when my Dad died several years ago. As a result I am in a bit of a state and can't seem to calm down.

Is anyone free to chat?

OP posts:

Report

NorthernLurker · 05/08/2008 23:45

You can't get away from your grief. I'm sorry but it's just going to be there with you at this time. You will cope, but you'll do that alongside those feelings, not with them tucked away.

wrinklytum · 05/08/2008 23:45

At least he was peaceful SS,that is something to hold on to.I can understand that this dredges up memories of you Dads death though.Each death is unique but it can trigger memories.Sending big hugs if you do them.No one can cope ALL the time,remember you are only human.Hugs.

cluelessnchaos · 05/08/2008 23:45

yeah i would probably drink the gin, but I am not often known for my good ideas.

Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:47

Hold on the fact that he passed peacefully at the end, it will comfort you in time. Sorry to hear that this was unexpected, you are in shock as well and that makes everything worse I think.

suedonim · 05/08/2008 23:48

Oh no, you poor thing, Shinypinkshoes. On the night my dad died, even though he was old (91) and it was expected, I didn't sleep a wink. My own breathing seemed so loud to me, it kept me awake. Agree with the warm milk, it has some sleepy chemical in it which is 'activated' by warming. A tot of brandy/rum/whiskey could help, too.

ShinyPinkShoes · 05/08/2008 23:50

I have opted for peppermint tea and rescue remedy and am running a bath.

Think I'll try and sleep after that, need to be up early tomorrow.

You are all lovely-thank you so much x

OP posts:

cluelessnchaos · 05/08/2008 23:51

nitey nite

NorthernLurker · 05/08/2008 23:52

Bath etc sounds like an excellent plan. Hope you can sleep too.

Evenstar · 05/08/2008 23:53

Hope you manage to sleep, I will be thinking of you, wishing you strength for tomorrow and peace for tonight.

wrinklytum · 05/08/2008 23:55

Sleep well SS XX TAKE CARE XX

thumbwitch · 05/08/2008 23:55

gin bad. for me anyway - stops me sleeping.

thumbwitch · 05/08/2008 23:57

if you have lavender oil or lavender in the garden, put that in your bath as well - that will help too.

night night - hope you manage to get some sleep and hope you get support tomorrow - you don't always have to be the coper, let others help too (make them if necessary!).

Evenstar · 06/08/2008 08:12

Thinking of you today, hope that you have managed to sleep.

ShinyPinkShoes · 07/08/2008 00:16

Thank you all.

Today has been a hectic day- I have been dashing around doing jobs- registered the death this afternoon it somehow seems so wrong that in the same waiting room you have happy couples with new babies and grieving, heartbroken relatives

Still that bit is over with now.
Have started organising the funeral- have an appointment to finalise things tomorrow.

My lovely, lovely boss has called twice telling me to take as much time as I need, which has completely taken the pressure off.

Your messages of support last night really helped me so thanks hugely x

OP posts:

MrsWeasley · 07/08/2008 00:38

Sorry for your loss.
Take Care

MarsLady · 07/08/2008 00:42

I'm sorry for your loss

GColdtimer · 07/08/2008 09:16

SPS, so sorry for your loss. It is so hard, being the one who is trying to support everyone in a time of great turmoil at the same time as dealing with your own grief. I was with by best friend when her DH died last November and it was truly, truly dreadful. I posted on here about it a lot though which really helped me come to terms with what happened - I got loads of lovely support and I hope you do too.

ShinyPinkShoes · 08/08/2008 22:56

Thank you everybody, as always you are all lovely x

OP posts:

charleymouse · 08/08/2008 23:07

SPS so sorry for your loss.

TotalChaos · 08/08/2008 23:09

what a lot of practicalities for you to have to deal with at a time when you must feel so shell shocked. good that work are sympathetic though.

onlyjoking9329 · 09/08/2008 10:38

sorry I missed this shiny and sorry your step dad died, you don't have to cope you know thou I understand you feel you should, don't pressure yourself.
I am usually around on Msn if you want someone to chat to.
Take care.
Oj

Evenstar · 11/08/2008 00:02

I have been thinking of you, I hope others have been able to take some of the load for you.

ShinyPinkShoes · 11/08/2008 00:09

Thank you.

THings have lifted a bit. My lovely brothers have been great so as well as supporting others I have been getting some myself.

Thanks for all of your messages of support- they really did help massively x

OP posts:

onlyjoking9329 · 14/08/2008 19:46

how are things?

MABS · 17/08/2008 18:24

so sorry about this shiny.

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