What next for my friend

[Prufrock]

My friend has just been for her 12 week scan to find she has lost the baby. This is her second miscarraige befroe 12 weeks in 6 months. She already has 2 children, but really wanted a third and I think she is intending to try again. At what point does she get an investigation into why she is miscarrying, and what can actually be done?

Unfortunately i was told that they do not investigate until you have had 3 m/c's.
They advise a gap of 3 months between pregnancies.

On the 3rd mc they will investigate (which is mad) My heart goes ot to her and my thoughts are with her. But a friend of mine had the 3 mc and was tested for all sorts.. She is now 14 wks pg and is on baby asprin.. She felt it was wrong to put her through 3 mc to find all she needed was a baby asprin!!

I know someone whose dh insisted when they were in hospital that she had investigations after the 2nd m/c. she got referred to St Mary's for tlc(where they give you support/scans etc but no intervention - which does appear to have a positive outcome) - they conceived triplets (naturally!) - so i think if you make a fuss it can happen. how old is she prufrock?

(Lesley Regan, the expert at St Mary's doesn't think there's any real reason to leave a gap btw, but maybe you would if there had been retained products, not sure)

Can't better bundle's advice about the possibility of upping the ante on this and quite correctly making as much fuss as possible about having to wait to lose a third before getting a referral. I think this approach is barbaric. However, I think they will be more reluctant to do this for her if the circumstances of the two m/cs are different. A friend is currently recovering from losing a baby at 19 weeks, and then a spontaneous miscarriage at 8 weeks, all in six months, and they STILL won't refer her.
I am so sorry to hear of your friend's losses, Prufrock.
If she gets a referral, my understanding is that they will look closely at any pattern in the m/cs, and "common" causes of recurrent miscarriage such as luteal phase deficiency and antiphospholid or Hughes Syndrome.

btw prufrock, if you think your friend would like it i do have a copy of lesley regan's book somewhere, it's a pretty thorough summary of the causes and treatments available though is probably about 3 or 4 yrs old now.

My early pg expert has only recently told me the reason they wait for three m/c is because, so many m/c happen for simply genetic reasons -ie 'bad luck' not everything needed was there, baby keeps growing til it reaches the stage it needs the missing part......, and if they DO run the tests (and all the stress and raised hopes with it) and find its just 'one of those natures intervetions' and not anything personal, you still dont get any answers, or reasons. I've had two missed m/c now, -esp cruel missed ones, i feel for your friend, as you think everythings so very fine and only the scan says otherwise- , i know at the time you want every test going to give you something to blame/fix. but sometimes there ISNT a cause, as such, if you see what i mean. however if the drs are even slightly concerned about any patterns or test results they would refer her without waiting for an awful third one. i hope she gets to carry her next baby successfully. if its any comfort to her, i did.

She came round today and is being quite matter of fact about it. I fed her Soupdragons chocolate cookies - they don't make bad things go away but they do make life a little brighter.
She lost the first at 6 weeks, thn with this one they said teh baby was at 12 weeks, but there was no heartbeat yesterday. So it does sound as if tehy weer both just "one of those things" situations rather than there being any underlying reason.
She hasn't actually had any bleeding yet, and says she still feels very pregnant. A part of her is still hoping for a miracle and that 2 doctors just couldn't find the heartbeat. I think she won't really accept it until she starts bleeding.
Thanks for the offer bundle but she's not the sort of person who would benefit from reading about the whysan wherefores. She said today that she is trying not to think of herself as unlucky for having 2 miscarraiges, but lucky in that she had 2 completely normal pregnancies and 2 beautiful children.

Prufrock, I miscarried twice @ 12 weeks and kicked up such a fuss that I got some tests done despite the three miscarriage policy. All the tests were negative and I conceived again shorlty after. My 10 wk old dd is now sound asleep in her Moses Basket. Statistically I think there is @ 3% chance of having 2 miscarriages in a row even if the mother has no underlying cause or condition (just pure bad luck Im afraid), but the chances are having 3 in a row are much less than 3%. Lesley Regan does an excellent book "Miscarriage, what every woman should know". Your frined should read it. I found it informative AND reassuring.

i have now had 3 mcs 2 natural then had ds [16mths] then one missed mc and was told because i had conceived and carried healthy child in between mcs then they would not test unless i had another...so it really depends on the consultant etc