Feeling sorry for myself

[Kneens]

I lost my dad 4 weeks ago today.

Everything is pissing me off today. Please indulge me while I list things:
My friend I considered closest didn’t even contact me. I assumed she hadn’t heard and I was about to tell her today when we met up but she beat me to it “sorry I’ve been a bad friend and not messaged you since I heard about your dad”. Felt like a punch to the guts.
Literally 2 people have reached out to ask how I’m doing - both casual acquaintances. No friends have messaged.
Siblings both got card and flowers from work. I got nothing from work.
MIL - comments like “how much will your dad’s house sell for?” “What was that area called where his cremation was? It was rather run down”.

Mostly the realisation I don’t have any real friends and no-one outside immediate family care about me

I’m so sorry. Nothing really to suggest. Hopefully there won’t be another situation like this and you can restore friendships as you heal.

Sending you lots of love! It’s shit! I was on mat leave when I lost my dad and flit was a case of out of sight out of mind!

A lot of people really can’t deal with others loosing their parents I’ve found (having lost both)! Lots of people and things will piss you off as it’s just a shit shit time!

It does get easier believe me but just and I hate this phrase but be kind to yourself right now!

I’m so very sorry for your loss. Losing my dad was such a shock despite his old age and illness. I went through a lot of emotions including a lot of anger.
I’ve experienced a lot of grief in my life and one of the worst things about it is how often people are really awful. I can’t really offer much comfort, I know how people behave is inexcusable. But the way I deal with it is to be a very good friend when someone is grieving. I make sure I know the anniversaries - especially if it’s the first year. I treat people like I would like to have been treated.
You need to tell people about how you feel about your dad. Don’t pretend you’re ok if you aren’t. Tell your MIL that you have no idea how much his house is worth because you’re too busy coping with the fact that he is no longer in it.
I know I’m just a stranger but I am genuinely very sorry for your loss. I miss my dad everyday and I know how devastating grief for a father is. XXX

I’m sorry to hear everything you are going through OP. It’s really tough and sounds especially difficult for you.
I’ve found as I’ve got older I have few friends. I think it’s not uncommon as you get older and leave baby groups/school mums behind and work and caring responsibilities kick in.
You aren’t alone in your situation - I had similar myself. I went along to a church bereavement group (you don’t have to be religious) and found many others had similar stories. I found the group very helpful; have you thought about getting similar support?

I also agree about getting REALLY angry about things.

First of all I'm sorry for your loss.

When my Dad passed away I can only describe it as 'living on auto-pilot' for the first 3 months, maybe longer. Having to solely deal with the paperwork afterwards was also a trying time as my Parents aren't organised people - even my siblings backed away from it so it was left to me to sort out.

I received so many odd comments during those first 3 months.

I also came to realise that you don't know how people will react. I've since changed jobs, but where I worked when my Dad passed away, didn't send me a sympathy card either; in fact only one person said anything to me about my Dad. I thought that was awful - and I was quite well liked there. It was only when someone else's Dad passed away and I saw that they were treated the same, that I didn't take it personally any longer. I sent her a card and asked her about her Dad as I didn't want her to feel like I had. I've done the same since and will continue doing that.

My conclusion is, they say nothing as they don't know how you will react and don't want to upset you further.

It says more about them than you OP.

💐