Should I let our son view his dad before the funeral?

[Anonynoname]

My DH died 3 weeks ago. The funeral is arranged later this month but I have already told the funeral director that we do not wish to see DH (his body).

I’m from a country where viewing of body at wake and open casket at funeral are standard practice but from what I experienced at my nan’s and my dad’s funerals, I just felt that their face didn’t look the same lying lifeless in front of me, as when they were alive. So for my DH, I decided on no viewing.

But this evening just before bed time, our 8 year old son asked where Daddy’s body was. I told him where his body was and asked why he was asking. He said he wanted to see him and give him a hug.

I know it is not at all common to view body here in the UK but I’m wondering if I’m making the right choice not to view ( and not let our sons view) DH before the funeral.

Any thoughts?

My mum pressurised me into seeing my grandmother’s body. She told me it would be lovely and give me peace. I was in my twenties. I was horrified. She looked very odd, the coffin seemed really close around her body, she was ice cold (obviously) and was nothing like my lovely, warm, beautiful grandmother. It totally ruined my memories of her. The next two times I was up to view a body, I knew to say no thank you. Zero rejects.

I agree that he does not understand what he is asking for. He will think its like hugging daddy when he is asleep.

I am so sorry for you and your little boy.

Does your son have a couple of teddies of some sort, maybe a small one that he could hug whenever he would like to hug daddy. (He can obviously hug you, I meant for example if he wakes at night. Depending on how his mind works can talk to) Suggesting a couple in case one gets lost or gets hugged away with love. Also a small one you and if he wants later he can take out.

im sorry you have to go through this. A gentle hug if you are that type of person ((OP))