Advice for entering a relative's flat after a distressing death

[tilechairdot]

I have to go into the flat of a close relative who died there recently. He remained dead there for some days before being discovered. Drug overdose, and he had lived there for years doing drugs. Even the police have warned it's really bad in there, they've left windows open and they say definitely wear a mask.

TBH, I'm terrified of what I'll see. I know I won't be able to unsee it. I'll be the first person to enter following his body being removed. I'm going in alone. Any advice if you have ever been in this situation?

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds very difficult.

How can they have left windows open? Won't neighbours complain or burglars/animals get in?

Why do you need to go in? Can you employ a professional cleaning company first?

Don't. You need a professional cleaning company who do this for their work. Go in after them.

I'm sorry for your loss and your situation. Could you not employ some kind of clearance company for this task. Are there important items/documents that you personally need to retrieve?

I'd only go in to let in a company like this one
https://www.centracorp.co.uk/our-services/after-death-cleaning-services/?campaign=13046954133&content=759526888705&keyword=trauma%20cleaning%20service&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=13046954133&gbraid=0AAAAACV1fqegXhUrdRGDX616waHF-ZMi0&gclid=CjwKCAjwtcHPBhADEiwAWo3sJof20W-6nLIImN1AQ_3rsOCUYpZAT2GHIOtwEJsVnTWOUEUU4mBHxBoCF-YQAvD_BwE
Let them deal with it (no doubt for a price but worth it if you can afford it).

I agree get a professional company in.

A close friend had something similar. There are specialist companies who clean properties like this. I would advise you to employ them to go in first.

Be very careful. Wear good solid shoes and don’t touch anything. Huge risk of needle stick injuries if he was an injecting drug user.

Thank you. I need to go in to get a few things for the funeral, death certificate, etc. And the family want me to get a few things of sentimental value. We will then employ a cleaning company, but there's no getting around it, I'll have to see it first.

How is the death certificate there, if you are the first person to go in?

I would not do this - it is extremely unlikely if the person was living in this kind of chaos that any of those sentimental or paper things remain.

Ring them up, explain what you need, I bet they will know what to do.

Who owns the flat? If it's a housing association or similar they will not be un-used to this, and will have services that can clear the flat and box up anything personal.

@tilechairdot Why is the death certificate in there? Who put it there and why can't they go in again?! As for the personal items, I would imagine they won't be in great shape considering what you've told us about his lifestyle.

You could ask them to attend with you though.

I've been the police officer in these situations and the sights and smells can be very very distressing when it isn't something you're familiar with, let alone when it's a relation you've lost.

Please contact a specialist company to talk it through with the before you go alone.

I did this OP and would strongly advise anyone against doing it. I will never be able to unsee what I saw, or unsmell what I smelled!

Please call a professional company, they deal with this stuff all the time and will be able to advise what to do vis a vis the documents.

You need to put yourself first here.

That's very unusual @tilechairdot Who left the death cert there?

Typically, a death certificate is not left at the property of the deceased.

It is an official document issued by the registrar after death registration and is held by the executor, personal representative, or next of kin.

OP, I really do mean this kindly: What are you worried about seeing?
Are you worried about seeing how he was living?
Are you worried about seeing the place where he died?
Are you worried about seeing drug paraphernalia?
Are you worried about seeing muck and dirt and body fluids?

I've worked with drug users for years, and been in and out of the worst living conditions you could possibly imagine.
The worst thing that you could come across is a dead body and that's guaranteed not to happen.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

The death certificate is not there, we need to get his ID to have a death certificate prepared and to have him buried.

This is in a tower block high up, so no animals or thieves can enter, hence the open windows.

Thank you, @ChubbyLubby . I'm terrified of seeing bodily fluids and vomit everywhere. And being sick upon seeing it. The other stuff doesn't scare me – at least not in advance, though I'm sure it will freak me out plenty in ways I can't even imagine.

Just get the professionals in. They're not going to steal anything.

You need a professional clean up company to go in. Dont do this to yourself

Do you have a good friend who would go with you?

I had something similar and accompanied DP to retrieve items from his deceased relatives home: it’s a lot easier when you are not personally emotionally involved

I would suggest you get professional cleaners in first if the home smells unpleasant though to do an initial clean & to air it etc

The specialist cleaning company would collect the possessions/paperwork you want retrieving if you give them a list.
It wouldnt worry me (I don’t think) but it’s obviously troubling you, so I wouldn't step foot in there if i was you. Sorry for your loss.

I’m sorry for your loss, and that you are worrying about this. Is there anyone close to you who could do this for you? I did this for my husband when his sister died. I didn’t want that to be his lasting memory of her. From a practical point of view, I worse a mask, and put a small amount of Vicks on it which helped to disguise the odour. There was bodily fluids around where she died, I took a sheet and threw that over the area. I hope that helps.

I would say you need to go in first at least to retrieve documents and valuables. Take a friend or relative with you for moral support, good solid shoes, disposable gloves, masks and possibly an old shirt (or overalls if you have them) over your clothes. We had a distressing death not an addict, it was just a fall in an awkward place and they had been ill, possibly infectious, and not found for a few days. The police had cleaned up a fair bit and left some windows open, but it was still pretty bad.

That is not the nature of my concern.