30 years ago today i had two beautiful children, a new job i loved and we were thinking about moving house. Then the next day my eldest daughter went to school and did not return. On that snowy morning in the quiet town of Dunblane she was one of the children shot and killed as she had fun in her gym class.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday and it still hurts, but life has gone on and i have a lot to be grateful for. In my own life things have mostly been good. We had an another child and both my children are now adults living fulfilling, happy lives. My husband and I are retired and enjoying a life of leisure and travel. Our successful campaign at the time to ban handguns means there has never been another shooting in a British school. That we have made the lives of innumerable children safer, makes me content.
I wanted to post as i think people often wonder how parents who have lost children in terrible circumstances manage to go on. I think the only thing i can say is that you get through it, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Then those days turn into months then years and before you know here we are 30 year on. So the short answer probably is that time gets you through it. Plus greta friends and a lot of wine! Tears and laughter is how i survived.
I am not expecting anything from this post. I just wanted to write it down as i find myself alone this afternoon and pondering on it all.