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30 years ago today I couldn't have been happier. The next day that all changed as the whole world watched.

208 replies

dunblanemum · 12/03/2026 17:30

30 years ago today i had two beautiful children, a new job i loved and we were thinking about moving house. Then the next day my eldest daughter went to school and did not return. On that snowy morning in the quiet town of Dunblane she was one of the children shot and killed as she had fun in her gym class.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday and it still hurts, but life has gone on and i have a lot to be grateful for. In my own life things have mostly been good. We had an another child and both my children are now adults living fulfilling, happy lives. My husband and I are retired and enjoying a life of leisure and travel. Our successful campaign at the time to ban handguns means there has never been another shooting in a British school. That we have made the lives of innumerable children safer, makes me content.

I wanted to post as i think people often wonder how parents who have lost children in terrible circumstances manage to go on. I think the only thing i can say is that you get through it, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Then those days turn into months then years and before you know here we are 30 year on. So the short answer probably is that time gets you through it. Plus greta friends and a lot of wine! Tears and laughter is how i survived.

I am not expecting anything from this post. I just wanted to write it down as i find myself alone this afternoon and pondering on it all.

OP posts:
bozzabollix · 12/03/2026 17:35

I remember that even though I was fairly young. And I recall feeling horrified and thinking about you poor families.

Honestly don’t know how you have managed to put one foot in front of the other after such a loss. But people I guess are incredibly strong.

I am so sorry it happened to you. And your poor daughter who had all that life to live.

DeQuin · 12/03/2026 17:35

I was teaching when this happened. The school asked me tell my Y8 tutor group about what had happened. I couldn’t do it: I stood at the front of the class and sobbed and couldn’t get the words out. It was before I had my own kids. Am glad you have so many positive things to reflect on in the last 30 years and just wanted to send you 💐.

FraterculaArctica · 12/03/2026 17:36

I am so sorry for your loss. If it's any help, I was literally just a few minutes ago thinking that it was the anniversary tomorrow. Your lovely.daughter and her classmates and teacher are not forgotten.

damelza · 12/03/2026 17:37

I don't know what to say. Words are just not enough for what you, your family and the whole town/community suffered that day. I often think of it and how parents dealt with the loss of their child - or didn't.

I am sure your daughter would have wanted you to carry on and live your life as you have done. But it never leaves you I'm sure. My condolences.

AgnesMcDoo · 12/03/2026 17:37

I think about the families every year and more once I had children of my own.

Im so sorry x

Goethesdog · 12/03/2026 17:38

Bloody hell. I’m so so sorry xx

HollyGolightly4 · 12/03/2026 17:38

I don't know what to say other than send my love 💕 and thank you for your campaign to ensure no other child, and no other family has to go through what you did 💐❤️.

Remembering your daughter.

TFImBackIn · 12/03/2026 17:39

I am so sorry you lost your lovely daughter. I remember the day so well as my daughter was the same age - the thought of that happening was so horrific and it had such a huge impact on my friends and family and me. You did an amazing thing re the handguns - it was shocking that they were allowed.

Flowers
Summerhillsquare · 12/03/2026 17:39

Solidarity. I think banning handguns is one of our proudest achievements as a nation.

Dearg · 12/03/2026 17:40

Massive thanks to you and your fellow campaigners for the work you did to ban handguns.

I am so very sorry though, that the price you paid was so high.

Sincere condolences and thank you for posting.

MysticHalfWitch · 12/03/2026 17:40

Sending love to you. And thanks for the incredibly important changes you brought about x

AdjacentPossible · 12/03/2026 17:40

Oh OP, lots of love to you and your family. How awful to lose your daughter in this way. Thank you for the campaigning that you did.

I remember this happening, but I was relatively young at the time.

Onelifeonly22 · 12/03/2026 17:41

I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss. As a new mum, I’ve been one of the people you mention who wonders how people keep going. Thank you for the campaigning you did to make us all safer.
Would you like to tell us about your daughter?

LunaTheCat · 12/03/2026 17:41

Thinking of you today. I remember the massacre … it was horrific.

NoYourNameChanged · 12/03/2026 17:42

I am so sorry for your loss, your sweet girl. My heart breaks for you. Thank you for the campaigning you did and for the changes you helped bring about.

Catsandcheese · 12/03/2026 17:42

My oldest was 5 at the time and I remember the day very clearly.
My heart broke for everyone involved. Lots of love to you and your family 🥰

DeborahVance · 12/03/2026 17:44

I'm so sorry, I remember it well too. I am so grateful for all the work that you and other parents did to ban handguns. I hadn't realised how hard you had to campaign until very recently

Porkpieandmustard · 12/03/2026 17:45

Think of you and your family. I remember the day so well. 🌺

Done2much · 12/03/2026 17:45

So sorry for your loss and thankyou for successfully campaigning to ban handguns 💐

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 12/03/2026 17:45

Sending you huge hugs. I remember this well. My boyfriend at the time and I were road tripping round Scotland at the time this happened. I remember feeling so sick by it and wondering how the hell, as a parent, you deal with something as awful as this.

We detoured through Dunblane on our way home and laid flowers outside the school. I just remember feeling so very sad.

Every year on the anniversary of this tragedy I think of all the parents and how they must have felt when the news broke. Wondering and being terrified that one of those children might be theirs.

I am so sorry.

But your story is one of incredible resilience and bravery and I applaud you for finding the strength somewhere to live your life after this and find some happiness after it.

Those innocent little children at Dunblane should (and will) forever be remembered.

Thank you for posting. ❤🌹

HoppityBun · 12/03/2026 17:46

I remember ❤️

ilovepixie · 12/03/2026 17:47

Sending hugs. I remember hearing about the shooting on the news and watching in disbelief that such a horrific act could be carried out in a small town in Scotland.

fartoomuchtoblerone · 12/03/2026 17:47

I’m so sorry for the loss of your wee girl. Thoughts are with you and all the other parents on the anniversary of that day. I remember it well, even though I was only still in primary school myself.

Thank you for all that you and the other Dunblane parents have done, and continue to do, to make our country safer ❤️

Figcherry · 12/03/2026 17:47

I’m so sorry.
I remember the time so well because my own dd was 4 years old so a similar age to the dc that died.
We went to mass as usual the following Sunday and the dc handed flowers out for Mother’s Day and I remember thinking that many mothers would not be getting a card from their dc.
Many of us were sobbing quietly in church.

Your dc, her classmates and the staff will never be forgotten.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/03/2026 17:47

Sending you good thoughts. I remember it so well, my eldest daughter was the same age and I was pregnant with my youngest child. I went home and cried in the shower at the awfulness of the world.

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

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