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30 years ago today I couldn't have been happier. The next day that all changed as the whole world watched.

208 replies

dunblanemum · 12/03/2026 17:30

30 years ago today i had two beautiful children, a new job i loved and we were thinking about moving house. Then the next day my eldest daughter went to school and did not return. On that snowy morning in the quiet town of Dunblane she was one of the children shot and killed as she had fun in her gym class.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday and it still hurts, but life has gone on and i have a lot to be grateful for. In my own life things have mostly been good. We had an another child and both my children are now adults living fulfilling, happy lives. My husband and I are retired and enjoying a life of leisure and travel. Our successful campaign at the time to ban handguns means there has never been another shooting in a British school. That we have made the lives of innumerable children safer, makes me content.

I wanted to post as i think people often wonder how parents who have lost children in terrible circumstances manage to go on. I think the only thing i can say is that you get through it, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Then those days turn into months then years and before you know here we are 30 year on. So the short answer probably is that time gets you through it. Plus greta friends and a lot of wine! Tears and laughter is how i survived.

I am not expecting anything from this post. I just wanted to write it down as i find myself alone this afternoon and pondering on it all.

OP posts:
Stickytoffeetartt · 12/03/2026 21:35

dunblanemum · 12/03/2026 19:12

I absolutely do remember that morning and the last time i saw her. it was snowing that morning and she wanted to wear her wellies which was fine. There was a bus that took children from our side of town to the school at the other side but she didn't get on it often as i worried it wasn't safe ( Oh the irony). She was in the huff as the childminder was collecting her and she hid behind the door when she arrived. I remember putting her into the car, fastening her in and kissing her goodbye and going to work. A fairly normal morning by anyone's standards really.

Thank you so much for sharing ❤️ 😘

Philandbill · 12/03/2026 21:36

I'm so very sorry @dunblanemum . I was a teacher and teaching children of the same age that term. I went into work the next day and looked at my class and thought so much about Dunblane. Like many on this thread I've thought of those children and their teacher Gwen Mayor over the years since.

Hotdoughnut · 12/03/2026 21:39

I'm Scottish and I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was 10 years old and my mum was crying, properly crying, and she told me why. It's a moment I'll never forget, the first time I'd seen my mum lose it. We were all with you that day, and always ♥️
I am so incredibly sorry for your unimaginable loss xxx

Namechangeoften · 12/03/2026 21:41

@dunblanemum I have some plants waiting to go out in the garden. I'll plant them in memory of your precious little girl, her friends and teacher. Thank you for telling us about her. Sending you love and peace. X

Kdobelda · 12/03/2026 21:48

Your wonderful daughter and all the other children will never be forgotten. I'm so sorry that you lost her. Thank you so much for your campaigning about the gun laws, you probably prevented many other deaths. Thank you for sharing this.

bluegreyskies · 12/03/2026 21:48

My heart absolutely breaks for you, your family and your precious baby. I am truly so sorry. With children of a similar age now, it only allows me to have even a glimpse of the horror that you have been through.

HangryBrickShark · 12/03/2026 21:51

Sending massive hugs and respect to you and your loved ones today x

todayImstruggling · 12/03/2026 21:55

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful soul.
I don’t remember the day itself. I was in year 1 at the time and my parents didn’t watch the news when we were around. I do however clearly remember being very confused by the changes made at school following the horrific events of that day. Our school along with the school up the road immediately upgraded security and taller anti climb fences and gates installed. I distinctly remember questioning my mum as to why they were changing the fences. And her crying and only answering me when I asked again. She told me the fences were broken and needed fixing. But me in my curiosity didn’t let it lie because only the week before the maintenance men had painted the fence so I wanted to know why they would paint a fence before they took it down! My poor mum was also a teacher so I imagine she was finding it very hard and dint need an inquisitive 5 year old questioning her!

dunblanemum · 12/03/2026 21:57

I have to say that i am not remarkable in any way shape or form. I am completely ordinary. I am all of you out there with children. I have still been cross with my children and been grumpy about nothing and all the usual stuff of life. Im a plump middle aged woman who loves her food and probably drinks a bit too much. I am utterly normal. All of the other parents would say the same.

OP posts:
GoodStuffAnnie · 12/03/2026 21:59

Thank you for campaigning to ban handguns. I am teacher. On behalf of all children.

Blessings and love to you and your daughter. Xxx

lifeturnsonadime · 12/03/2026 21:59

Another one who remembers OP Flowers

Thank you so much for what you did to keep other children safe xx

Hibernating80 · 12/03/2026 22:00

I'm so sorry you lost your wonderful little girl and your friend's children. Thank you for telling us about her.

Thank you for doing so much to keep children safe.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 22:02

Oh op, what a heartbreaking read.

You have done amazingly by your dd, and by future children who are safe from guns.

I truly wish you and dh a happy retirement, your kids the future and your angel a happy time in heaven (wherever her beautiful resting place may be to you) ❤️

Mischance · 12/03/2026 22:02

I remember. And I am grateful for the courage shown by you and all the other parents that has made the UK a safer place for everyone. I salute you.

PeppyAmberHedgehog · 12/03/2026 22:06

I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful daughter. Thank you for complaining to keep all of our children safer.

Feetfingers · 12/03/2026 22:13

I hardly ever cry but I cried several times today, hearing about it on the radio, then reading your post and just now watching the programme about the campaigning. I remember when it happened but it touches me even more today because I know what it means to love and cherish a child. My thoughts will be with you tomorrow.
Much love to the parents of Dunblane.

Lesina · 12/03/2026 22:13

I found out I was pregnant with my daughter on the morning of Dunblane. You are never far from my thoughts.

piscofrisco · 12/03/2026 22:17

Sending lots of love to you OP. And remembering your lovely daughter.

B3aronthechair · 12/03/2026 22:17

@dunblanemum Remembering your beautiful daughter and her classmates, they are not forgotten.

I was in primary school at the time and we baked cakes and sold our toys to raise money. I can remember being so confused and upset. Your actions following the tragedy have undoubtedly saved the lives of many others, a fitting legacy.

Wallabyone · 12/03/2026 22:18

I’m so sorry for everything that you’ve been through. Remembering your lovely daughter and her classmates this evening ❤️

hyggetyggedotorg · 12/03/2026 22:19

I remember the day. DH & I were dating & went back to DH’s family home after work. It was the first & last time I saw either of my PILs cry. DH’s niece was Reception class age at the time.

I’m not going to insult you by pretending I understand how you feel, but I do remember each & every year.

squashyhat · 12/03/2026 22:20

I don't have children of my own (by choice) but have spent today with friends and family remembering my sister-in-law who we lost a month ago to cancer. It has made me realise that in all the pursuit of material wealth and happiness, at the end of the day we really only have each other. I remember Dunblane and admire you immensely for starting this thread.

Moen · 12/03/2026 22:22

I was 11 years old and I remember feeling heartbroken watching the news.

I am so very sorry for your loss, we all remember your child x

mushypetits · 12/03/2026 22:29

Incredible that it was 30 years ago. I remember so clearly exactly what I was doing when I heard the heartbreaking news.

Toddlerteaplease · 12/03/2026 22:34

I remember it well, I was 15.I always remember you, OP when I hear Dunblane mentioned. But until watching the programme on channel 4 last week and the one on BBC2 tonight, I thought the ban just happened. I don’t remember the Snow drop Campaign. But who knows how many lives it saved.