My father just died

[Judy1234]

It's so sad but not unexpected. In a sense he died 2 years ago when the dementia was bad and he ceased to be able to communicate properly.

We're orphans now. He was 79 and our mother died at 75 only 3 years ago. That doesn't give us children a good life expectancy. The age your parents die is the best indicator of how long you will live.

He worked full time as a psychiatrist until he was 77.

I'm sorry for your loss Xenia. Be kind to yourself.

I'm Really sorry for your loss Xenia.

Sorry for your sad loss, Xenia.

Commiserations.

Oh but goodness what a full life he led! And 79 is still average for men isn't it? And at their ages they went through food rationing at a fairly crucial time for their bodies (teens). My fil and his brother, born 1926 and 1927, both died at 65 of the same problems. Heredity or nasty rationed food + stress of wartime London + really old parents + evacuation to boarding school in the countryside? Who knows? My husband seems much fitter than his father at the same ages.

I'm very sorry, Xenia. It's always hard, as everyone else says. My father died at the grand old age of 91, but it still seemed too early. Maybe as their children we never outgrow wanting our parents to be there - a buffer between ourself and the inevitable.

My father never really exercised but also his father died at 75 at the dinner table of a heart attack and that would have killed my gather except they put in a pace maker so he therefore didn't die in the same way as his father. But for the pacemaker he probably would have done.

The children's other grandfather still works part time in his 80s and looks about 60, slim, fit. Taht family live often into their 90s which is 20 years more than mine and if it's a good life from 70 - 93 then it's great for them but families do differ.

It seems to be as busy as when my mother died - so many different tasks to do when you'd rather just be thinking about things.

I'm sorry for your loss Xenia. My Dad is 91 and has dementia. Who wants to live till that age with no quality of life? My Dad always said people should live no longer than 3 score and 10 and that anything after that is borrowed time. I think sometimes he was right, unless you are fit. I hope that he will slip away peacefully soon. Dementia is a horrible illness.

Losing a parent makes one become aware of one's own mortality. I dread the day one of my parents die, and 79 isn't that old these days.

Xenia, my thoughts are with you, and my DH's closest friend who lost his father Thursday night.

I'm very sorry for your loss Xenia.
I'm glad he lived a full life.

So sorry for your loss, Xenia. Thinking of you, Dinny x

Xenia - So sorry to hear of your loss. .i lost my lovely Dad 6 weeks ago today . it was expected as he had a horrid, wretched, evil cancer and his demise was slow and painful. But even though it was 'expected' and a welcome release for him, it did not make his passing any less of a 'shock.' Human nature is strange and best not questioned in that respect. Hold on to your lovely memories of the Dad you once had and the Mum you had too. They are still with you every minute of every day. Don't worry about your longevity. life is for living not for waiting for death. Try to be happy. i feel so angry at the way my Dad had to go but am holding on to my memories of the sound of his lovely voice and his ability to dissolve into hysterics wiht abandon! Try to think of your parents as they would wish to be remembered Xenia. it is hard but it is better. hth

I am so sorry Xenia, you poor love, take it easy and allow your family to support you x

So sorry for your loss

sorry for your loss

So sorry to hear your sad news Xenia
xxx

Sorry for your loss, Xenia

Sorry to hear you lost your father. He sounded like a wonderful man. You mentioned him in your piece about b/f and work.

Take care. x

So Sorry to hear about your Father,
sounds like an amazing man.

x x

Very sorry to hear of your loss. Sympathy to you and yours.

When my Dad died, I felt my place in the universe had altered: it was like an axis had shifted - very odd. The circumstances of his death hurt, too, but four years on, the memories flow much more easily. I see backs of heads, trousers, odd details and think of him and smile.

Grieve, be kind to yourself, honour your relationship with him and take care.

I am so sorry for your loss, Xenia.

Losing a parent is hard, I have ploughed that furrow, and to lose both is unimaginable to me.

Take care of yourself.

So sorry