First anniversarys

[Gruffalo21]

Has anyone found the "firsts" incredibly difficult?
DM passed away very suddenly march 2024.
My birthday was two days after her funeral.
Christmas was bearable, but this year my birthday has been really really hard to deal with, to the point I don't want to "celebrate" at all. It's been like a fresh influx or hidden memory of grief and exhaustion.

My DM died suddenly 3 years ago just before Christmas. The first Christmas we would have spent together since Covid.

on the first anniversary we decided to remember her by doing something she would of loved. We went out for a champagne lunch. Changing the narrative to celebration of life helped.

the first mothers day was hard. I ended up car shopping with DP. The first’s are hard but get easier.

It depends how long after the bereavement the firsts are. I found that I struggled more second time round for my birthday and wedding anniversary as the firsts were very close to the loss of DH and reflecting I think I was just so numb for the firsts and I suspect you were the same with your birthday being so close to your DMs funeral. It does get better though.