Sudden death of parent

[user1492122750]

My poor old dad was found very recently deceased today. We did everything we could but he was already gone.

I know it’s to be expected, I really do but I feel like I’ll never sleep again. And I need to be safe to drive home tomorrow and let my children know in person. 😭

My brain just keeps whirring.

I’m so sorry to hear of your sudden loss, you just cannot put the raw grief into words, and that bit before the funeral…awful. Just do the minimum you need to do to get through each day for now, nothing else really matters in the grand scheme and it’s ok to fall apart for a bit. You will get support and kindness from very unexpected places when you least expect it.

It absolutely turned me inside out when it happened me but the cloud did lift and I’m me again now. It gets easier I promise xx

partridgeinasweartree

💐

My counsel for what it is worth is to just do what gets you through a day at a time. Do not take on too much and do not be afraid to ask for support from those around you. I would concur you do receive support and kindness from unexpected sources.

partridge

Would you like to write more here about your parent?.

Good morning

@user1492122750 @AttilaTheMeerkat @partridgeinasweartree

I hope you are all doing ok. It's such a shock isn't it and the grief seems to come and go in waves. Sometimes it's quite unexpected -seeing my mum's favourite salad that was always on her shopping list really upset me which seems weird. Take each day as it comes is all we can do. Good weather is helping massively

Yes the weather does help.

So much paperwork and people to inform.
His funeral won’t be for some weeks yet as we’re still awaiting the date of the repatriation flight.

Note to self - do not die abroad if at all
possible!. Whole new layer of complexity that.

Thank you everyone. I think it’s starting to sink in a little more after the initial shock. I seem to switch between functioning on autopilot and crippling exhaustion. I think the initial horror of having to sit with his lifeless body for several hours, then telling people repeatedly has wiped me out mentally and emotionally. One day at a time I guess.

I’m doing one day at a time too. Am still waiting for my dads body to be repatriated back to the uk.

You are in my thoughts 💐

Sorry to hear you are still waiting? Have they given you any idea how long it might take? How is your Mum bearing up?

Hopefully the end of the week or beginning of next week. All that has made me cry too. Mum is very much up and down which is to be expected really.

Thank you for thinking of us💐

I'm pretty sure you are just desperate to have him home. It must be awful. 🙁I hope you don't have to wait much longer and you can begin to arrange his funeral (if he is having one) and maybe visit him in the chapel of rest (if that is something you feel you want to do)

The waiting is awful. We had a long wait to organise my Dad's funeral while the coroner ordered an autopsy to determine cause of death, even though we pretty much knew what it was that killed him. It feels like its never ending.

I’m sorry, the waiting is awful. We are waiting on the coroner to do the PM then release him. It’s a strange limbo land. I hope he’s repatriated home to you soon x

I’m sorry for your loss 💔
I’m 7 months pregnant now and found my 57 year-old Mum 6 weeks ago. Brain haemorrhage.
I was just screaming.
It’s devastating.
We had her funeral on Tuesday.
I’ll be thinking of you, I hope you have lots of support around you.
A shower helps me, just standing under the hot water, crying, washing it all away.
And talk to your Dad. That has helped me. Talk to him while you’re pottering around x

My dad's casket is being flown back to the UK today with all the paperwork that entails. After clearing customs he will then be taken to our chosen undertaker's. We will collect the paperwork from them next week.

I feel so terribly sad today about it all.

I had to laugh earlier this week when I received an e mail from the repatriation company saying that Dad's passport could not be located (!); they asked me if my mum had taken it back to the UK. I knew that she had not (as she was told in resort to leave it with the Spanish morticians) and told them so. Fortunately it was found a short time later.

I am glad that he is coming home today. Once he is back you can start to make arrangements for him and begin carrying out his final wishes. It's a difficult process so I feel for you and its all been drawn out for you too with having to wait so long. It must have been so difficult.

It does all feel sad doesn't it? My Dad was cremated a few weeks ago now and we had his interment of ashes ceremony on Wednesday. We scattered him in Mums grave so they are back together forever. It felt good knowing that we had carried out his final wishes but there was something really sad and really final about it all. I cried in the car on the way home as it hit me that both my parents are now gone. It was a strange feeling and it hit me from nowhere.

Hope all goes well today and you have him back soon ❤

My dad is now back in the UK at our chosen undertakers. My mum now has the task of arranging his funeral service, collecting the paperwork and paying the deposit.

I had a phone call from the Coroners office in dads hometown to say they were happy with the paperwork the Spanish authorities provided so we can now go ahead with the funeral arrangements. His funeral will take place in a couple of weeks time. My mum is of course finding this all very difficult but my brother and I are doing the paperwork as and when required.

my best wishes to all those in this part of mn💐

Good to hear he is home safe where he belongs and you can now begin to follow his final wishes and lay him to rest.

Thinking of you xx

Sorry I’ve been AWOL.

I’m glad you can now get on with plans for laying your Dad to rest @AttilaTheMeerkat

My Dad’s funeral is later this week, it’s now 3 weeks since he died, it’s been a weird time - feels much longer and shorter at the same time, than the actual duration. I sort of want to draw a line after the funeral but know that isn’t the way grief works. I just miss him.

Ps sorry. Hope that didn’t sound curt @AttilaTheMeerkatI can only imagine what a hard time it has been for you and your family, especially with the circumstances of your dad being abroad. I truly hope you’re able to find some peace in the knowledge that he’s home and his final wishes are being put in to place in the coming weeks. Here if you ever want a chat. X

Thanks for your message to me user. And no you were not curt in the slightest !.

Am on my previously booked holiday at present in the US and it’s been helping a lot. I went to the Catholic cathedral here yesterday and lit a candle for him. It’s three weeks tomorrow (Monday) since he died. My brother has been helping my mum
with paperwork. Funeral may not take place till the beginning of June.

here also if you want a chat

I’m so sorry to hear of your losses.

I just want to add - I bellowed when I was driving home from the hospital, not a scream, a loud guttural noise came out of me. Hurt my throat but a ‘omg she’s gone, and that was all so sudden and bloody horrifying to watch’ noise. It’s happened once since but it helped me. I’m not sure why, but it helped (I was on my own both times and I’m not usually woo but it felt almost primal). Sending all best wishes, be kind to yourselves x

@AttilaTheMeerkatI was away the week after my dad passed on an already booked hol, it helped to have a change of scenery and to be around friends. Glad you’re finding some solace on your travels.

Its a horrible rime. I found my lovely mum dead in bed in on Sunday, I swear she knew it was coming! I was in shock until today but I'm feeling more normal now and have stopped shaking. got so many friends and family for support I'm really lucky. I know. She died in her own bed very peacefully a good way to go at 80 yrs old and its t she would have wanted I'm sure of that she was in her own bed and all comfy looked so peaceful and at rest. So much to deal with though

So sorry to hear that you’re in the same situation @mrsfollowill

My lovely Dad’s funeral was today, he would have been happy with it. And the sun shone. I’m really relieved the funeral is now done.