Written out of will

[Azandme]

My dad died last month. He'd been ill a long time with dementia, so although it was sad, it was also a relief.

Tonight I found out that, after a lifetime of being told we'd inherit his house, my brother and I have been written out of his will - and neither us, nor our children, will get anything. Not a memento, not a single thing.

It's all been left to his wife.

That would be ok if we hadn't been told differently for over 40 years.

My dad only added her to the deeds of the house in January 2018 (after not doing this for the 20+ years they'd been married) - 12 weeks before he was formally diagnosed, and a month after he'd been telling my brother she was trying to make him change his will.

I don't know how to feel.

Either my dad chose to cut us out and the will was changed years ago, or his wife took advantage of him when it became apparent he was starting to develop dementia. Both options are awful.

I’m sorry for your loss.

It would be quite normal for your Dad’s home to pass to his wife of 25 years then onto children after the second death. Obviously that does depend on her will including you - could that be what your Dad meant? That eventually his home (or the value of it) would be yours?

It might be worth checking the date of the will however to make sure it wasn’t re-written to exclude you after his dementia kicked in? You can obtain a copy of any will for a small fee. If it was amended to exclude you recently, it would be worth consulting a solicitor about the validity/ legality given his capacity.

All you can do is get a copy of the Will
Is the wife likely to disinherit you?
Reality is after 25+ years she will she the house and everything in it as hers, not yours and would be scares of her own future. So its probable there was pressure to change the will

She was married to him for 25 years but you expect their home to be left to you?

It’s a tough one, OP, as presumably your SM has contributed to the household bills and maintenance over the last 25 years. Where would she live if you/your brother inherited the house now? Did she also care for your Dad during his illness?

Definitely get a copy of the will and ensure it was made while he had capacity. Sorry for your loss. 💐

Did you expect his wife of 25 years to excluded from his will? If she was on the deeds as a joint tennant it would automatically go to her.
This is what happens when you enter into a marriage contract. With all my worldly goods etc

This is what happens when you enter into a marriage contract. With all my worldly goods, etc.

Not necessarily, @Flopsythebunny. My Dad didn’t inherit my SM’s house after 15 years of marriage, it went to her family. As it was a second marriage, they kept everything separate. That’s why the OP needs to check that the will was made well before the dementia progressed.

*And that the deeds were updated while he had capacity. I wouldn’t want an older person to be homeless, of course, but if they’d previously agreed to keep everything separate or perhaps she had a life interest in the house - and then he was pushed into changing when he became ill, that’s suspicious.

Does she have children? Are they likely to be the only beneficiaries of her will?

Please ask your Stepmum if you could have a few things as a memento of your Dad? Hopefully she will be reasonable and let you have free choice.

Thanks all.

Just to clarify a couple of things.

My dad's house was his childhood home, and was originally my grandmother's house. My parents paid her mortgage for years, and when they divorced my dad moved back in and took over the remainder of the mortgage, and they owned the house as tenants in common.

On her death my grandmother left her half of the house to my brother and I, but my dad challenged this in court on the basis that we were 5 and 7, and he needed the house to have a home for us to go to, and that as his children we would inherit anyway. He won.

My grandfather left his family for another woman when my dad was 7. In his will he left his house to my dad and his siblings, with the proviso that his wife could live there for the rest of her life. She outlived my grandfather by nearly 40 years.

When my dad remarried he categorically stated that he would do the same - and repeated this many times and it was in his will - today is the first I've heard that it was changed.

As the will previously granted lifetime occupancy there was never any thought of taking anyone's home - my dad's wife is only 16 years older than me so we didnt expect (or want) to inherit for many years.

She has said today that we are not in her will.

They didn't have any children. She has nieces and nephews.

I'm just struggling to understand how my dad made his intentions so clear to his brother, the courts, and us that after they both died we would inherit the house (just the house, nothing else) - to now literally being removed entirely.

It's not even really about the house.

It's the fact that either I didn't know my dad at all, because I believed what he told us his plans were and it turned out he removed us entirely - or his wife manipulated him when he was in the early stages of dementia.

Both of those options are awful in different ways, and everyone who was around at the time, and could explain is dead.

My brother asked if his son could perhaps have my dad's watch.

She said no. Apparently it's water damaged and too expensive to repair. Not sure why that matters with a keepsake, but the answer was no.

I’m so sorry, OP, the situation sounds v. unpleasant. Do you think that your SM resents you/your brother for some reason?

This must be incredibly difficult to deal with, I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Is there any chance of any legal recourse given half the house had originally been left to you and DB by DGM and that was overturned for the reasons you stated - was something submitted/documented in court that the house would come to you/DB? I know it's a long shot. If you contest the current will does it give you a right to medical information to see exactly when your DF first sought medical advice re dementia symptoms to see if the latest will was written before or afterwards?

Can you not revert back to your Grandmothers will somehow as she did leave half to you in the first place

Sincere condolences, Op. i think what stands out for me are two points. Firstly, part of that house was your inheritance and he overturned that, so he should have made a provision to put that right.

Secondly, the fact that he gave you to expect an inheritance, but there wasn't one. Not even his Chattels. It would be far less of a shock if he had prepared you. He also could have given her the right to live there and then on her death, his children get a percentage and so do her heirs.

My DM did similar: ensured we were in her will. There was no will and by survivorship my stepfather inherited 80% of her Estate. Most of her wealth came from property bought by my Father during her earlier marriage. My stepfather is drinking and eating his way through it.

Ps I second checking whether he was of sound mind when he made the Will. But I do read way too many crime novels...

Are you an executor of your dads will to be able to see exactly what he has written?

X

It is very telling about her reaction to you asking for his watch for your son. She sounds so tight and mean and greedy. I managed to get some of my mother's things and I got so much pleasure in sharing them with my sisters and my kids and their kids because they are so meaningful. I have been bitterly missing my DM tonight. She died very suddenly at 72 in seeming great health and I still miss her so much. Having some of her jewellery and books means so much.

It sounds awful, but I bet you anything his widow will try to sell some of his stuff on Ebay/FB. You could always keep an eye out!

Oooh my mattress protector has finished its wash!

You could check with a solicitor about your Grandmother originally leaving you and sibling half in her will.

I would speak to a solicitor

Ouch, that sounds really hurtful and upsetting.
I would definitely seek advice from a solicitor specialising in wills and probate.

(after obtaining a copy of the will)

It's right that she retains the use of the house but I can't believe she's already told you that you aren't in her will! Is she planning on leaving your dad's house to HER nieces and nephews?! What a piece of work. Worth seeking legal advice as surely your dad would not have intended for THAT to be the situation.

I am sorry for your loss but your language is very dramatic, you haven’t been written out of anything - your Dad has left his house to his wife of 25 years.
Nobody has a right to an inheritance, I agree this woman could have handled things differently but it doesn’t sound like she has a legal obligation to

Really? She has a right to be upset if you read all her posts, plus she's grieving. I didn't even think it was dramatic anyway.

I would definitely be getting legal advice around this considering half of the house should have belonged to you and your brother