Written out of will

[Azandme]

My dad died last month. He'd been ill a long time with dementia, so although it was sad, it was also a relief.

Tonight I found out that, after a lifetime of being told we'd inherit his house, my brother and I have been written out of his will - and neither us, nor our children, will get anything. Not a memento, not a single thing.

It's all been left to his wife.

That would be ok if we hadn't been told differently for over 40 years.

My dad only added her to the deeds of the house in January 2018 (after not doing this for the 20+ years they'd been married) - 12 weeks before he was formally diagnosed, and a month after he'd been telling my brother she was trying to make him change his will.

I don't know how to feel.

Either my dad chose to cut us out and the will was changed years ago, or his wife took advantage of him when it became apparent he was starting to develop dementia. Both options are awful.

Bit of a drip feed there op?
A diagnosis of dementia does not mean that the person lacks capacity. If the latest will was written by a solicitor they would check this before the will was drawn up and signed.
The only thing you can do is get a solicitor to look at the court documents from when your dad challenged the will.
I can only presume that your dad felt that his wife deserved the house for looking after him once he had dementia. Its bloody hard. I know because I did it for 10 years.

Except a court found already that they weren't entitled to that share at that stage so it is highly unlikely they would find that court was incorrect after all these years.

I wouldn't assume that his capacity to change the will (if that is what occurred) was properly assessed. This is what OP needs to ascertain.

There have been plenty of cases to the contrary.

OP has recently lost her Dad and now the historical family home so I think it is understandable she is emotional and a bit of kindness and empathy wouldn't go amiss.

^ this.

@Azandme I am sure you are absolutely gutted and you have every right to be. First of all losing your dad, then this! Ignore the weasels.

See a solicitor. Your dad, sad to say, has now deprived you twice - firstly your grandma's share of the house, and now the whole thing. It does seem that the will may have been changed suspiciously close to your dad's diagnosis.

What is your stepmother like normally? Is she devious enough to pull this off? Her needs for housing could easily have been met through a life interest in the house, and other than that - what does she need it for?! It would be a travesty if her nieces and nephews ended up with your family home.

Best wishes x

Yes, please see a solicitor specializing in this area and gather any documentation relating to your grandmother’s will and the subsequent court case, as well as a copy of your father’s will.

It’s possible that your father changed his mind ( and had capacity) but given the history, a life interest for your SM would’ve made far more sense.

The resentment has been there since day 1.

No, the executor is his wife's sister.

Dramatic?

We were in all previous wills, except the last one. "Written out" is just the common language used to explain the change from being included in a will to being removed as a beneficiary in a rewritten one.

Nothing dramatic, just a standard use of common parlance.

Have you actually seen the will, OP?

I'd also see a solicitor regarding the decision to exclude you from inheriting from your grandmother. If your father was able to take ownership of the house by saying he would leave it to you both, then perhaps there was something drawn up in the legal documents.

You also need to see a solicitor about the recent will, your Dad's fears, and the change to it so close to his diagnosis.

However, it is correct that people with dementia still can have capacity.

All the solicitor who witnessed the Will has to do is to make sure that on the day, the testator was capable of making these decisions, the High Court has already said that having mild dementia is not a reason to make a Will invalid.

There is also no time period before the onset of lack of capacity that makes a Will invalid, just on the day he/she had capacity, what happens the next day is irrelevant.

Dripfeed?

The dementia, and the timing of the deed change in relation to diagnosis were both in my original post.

If you're referring to the part about my grandmother, then the explanation is I wrote my op minutes after finding out. I was somewhat stunned.

We aren't going to contest the will. I don't have the energy. If she has manipulated him, she can live with that knowledge. But I do know that months before the deeds were changed my dad was already displaying myriad symptoms, including wandering off, getting lost, not knowing, accusing my former DH of murder, and hammering on neighbour's doors at 5am to tell them people who weren't there were trying to kill him, so I'm not convinced he had capacity.

Interesting that you assume she was the only one looking after him though... And this was the second parent I've lost from a long illness, so I've plenty of experience of how "bloody hard" it is.

No, she refused to give my brother a copy.

@Azandme you can get a copy for a fee from the gov website Copy of will

Thank you. Probate hasn't been granted yet.

@Azandme when you say "Formally diagnosed" what do you mean by this? did he have GP notes stating he didn't understand etc etc prior to any formal tests? though getting those may prove difficult as your not the executor but next of kin may suffice, you'll need to ask his practice.

This would be your best way to challenge the Will, especially if the Solicitor did not consider capacity or undue influence, there are clear guidelines & questions for solicitors to follow/ask if a new Will is very different from an earlier one.

Undue influence is almost impossible as the main witness is dead.

Another thing to bare in mind is costs, challenging a Will is extremely expensive and if you lose, you will pay the other sides costs too, best bet is to stop probate going ahead, by caveat, until you get more specialist advice & don't use a panel firm, you need someone who has a record in High court action, not a paralegal.

Sorry just read you are not challenging the Will, probably a wise decision, all the very best at this very difficult time

Thank you for the information.

At this point we've decided not to challenge the will - more for our own peace of mind than anything else. It will cause a huge amount of stress that will have a knock on effect on our own families, cost a lot of money, and potentially won't go anywhere.

If this is what he wanted, then so be it. If it isn't, then she can live with that knowledge for the rest of her life.

I just need some time to process my feelings around it all.

You need a contentious probate solicitor

If you're in Scotland the rules around disinheriting children is different. Put very simply you can't

Are you in England or wales?

Was the new Will accompanied by a doctors certification?

I think it's worth at least speaking to a solicitor. Or even just putting a stop to probate for now. You have a right to see the will especially when you're told differently from what your father stated and his prior court case.

I wouldn't necessarily say contest, depending on the property and estate it would potentially write off that, but putting a stop to probate is something like £20 I believe. If you have home legal cover check if you're convert for contentious probate.

I've some experience with a relative from the opposite side.

Please speak to a solicitor before probate goes ahead, this sounds so suspicious and unfair.

It’s pretty normal to leave everything to the surviving spouse, so it’s not really surprising. His choice.

@Azandme Just a final point, your step mother wont lose any sleep over manipulating the Will or she'd never have done it in the first place (assuming this has happened of course)

If you stop probate and seek legal advice, she can at the same time be offered mediation instead of the High Court, she may take this... again IF she has acted improperly, the alternative could be she loses the lot.

A caveat lasts 6 months, a simple process and will give you time to come to terms with the shock of losing your dad, you can withdraw it at any time or renew it.

THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️
You are grieving and in a state of shock.
Wait until after the funeral, give yourself time to process the information and see a specialist solicitor with your brother. You owe it to your grandmother who wanted you children to inherit her family home, any children you may have and yourself.
If you have any copies of previous wills/the court case re your grandmothers will please get them together. This stinks to me of manipulation by his wife and her family. Don’t make any big decisions right now.
But stopping probate for 6 months might give you breathing space plus it might make your ‘stepmother’ make you an offer.
Im sorry for your loss and I hope you get your inheritance.

I'm sorry, OP. That's really rough. It does sound very suspicious that he only made these changes when he was on the road to a dementia diagnosis. And no, I don't think it is usual to leave everything to your wife when it's a second marriage and you have children from a previous marriage, no. I would expect a life interest in the property and for it then to go to the children, which is apparently what it was up until fairly recently.