Written out of will

[Azandme]

My dad died last month. He'd been ill a long time with dementia, so although it was sad, it was also a relief.

Tonight I found out that, after a lifetime of being told we'd inherit his house, my brother and I have been written out of his will - and neither us, nor our children, will get anything. Not a memento, not a single thing.

It's all been left to his wife.

That would be ok if we hadn't been told differently for over 40 years.

My dad only added her to the deeds of the house in January 2018 (after not doing this for the 20+ years they'd been married) - 12 weeks before he was formally diagnosed, and a month after he'd been telling my brother she was trying to make him change his will.

I don't know how to feel.

Either my dad chose to cut us out and the will was changed years ago, or his wife took advantage of him when it became apparent he was starting to develop dementia. Both options are awful.

I've just realised you inferred I'm not a "decent person".

You could have had the decency to read the thread properly, instead of just assuming, but here we are.

OP, did you have a good relationship with your Dad? Was he generally a good man?
It might be that he did the typical thing that people do and wanted to change his will before but couldn't face doing it. It's normal for people to get things in order as they get older especially if they are aware that they are becoming ill.

He might have realised that his wife might be left for care home fees for herself or that she might need the security of owning the house for other reasons. Things change over time.
He will have spoken to the solicetor. - my experience is that they are careful about things like this.
It might be that he just couldn't face telling you or that his dementia caught up with home too quickly
I think I'd reserve judgement over what happened. You can't know it was down to the evil stepmother or even down to your Dad being unkind or dishonest.

My Dad updated his will a few months before he died. It was not a contentious change fortunately so there were no problems.

That's a difficult question.

Was he a good man? Yes, in his way.

Was he a good dad? Not always. We weren't a priority, but he loved us. I never doubted that. I came to terms with not being a priority, as did my brother.

But something this big? No, this is wholly unexpected. Not least because of how adamant he always was. It was the only thing where we did seem to be of equal priority.

Now I just think that we were even less of a priority than we had come to terms with. And that stings.

He will have spoken to the solicetor. - my experience is that they are careful about things like this.

@LotsOfThingsToThinkAbout I’d also assume that if I didn’t know someone IRL who had a will overturned. The entire legal mess was caused by the elderly relative not sharing certain information with their new solicitor.

OP what's the likelihood that your stepmother is lying? That could be the reason she won't show your brother a copy of the will?

OP, I understand you are shocked and upset at the moment. Please don't make any major decisions right now - please follow this advice to buy yourself time

OP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek legal advice and check that it is going through probate!

Probate just means a solicitor has to oversee the execution of the estate. But crucially you don’t HAVE to apply for probate in certain circumstances, and the fact that the property was part of a ‘joint tenancy’ means they may not have to apply for probate so in other words they can choose to ignore the will and do whatever they like with the assets as there’s no one to question it.

If there’s even a shadow of a shadow of doubt in your mind that something isn’t ringing true (especially seeing as your dad has confirmed that eventually he wanted you to have the house) and there’s no love lost between you and your SM, you need to contest this, there literally nothing to be gained and everything to lose by taking the moral high road on this one.

Can the posters laying into the OP have a bit of respect and notice that she's posted in bereavement not legal matters?

Op, this sounds really shocking and your feelings are valid. I'm sorry.

To be honest I think his wife staying in the house is the way it should be. She lived there for over 20 years if I'm reading correctly- it's not like she just met him last year. It's her home.
Not getting any sentimental items or anything like that is sad but surely you can speak with her and come to an arrangement on personal items? I'm sure she'd let you have certain things ?

I've just read your updates and I'm sorry, it sounds like an upsetting situation. It's alsovery unfair she wouldn't let you/your sibling have the keepsake. Maybe she will feel differently in a little while.

A solicitor would normally suggest tenants in common rather than joint tenants in a situation like this, so the person can leave their portion to the dc in trust, with the surviving spouse having security of tenure in the property until they either die or moves elsewhere. DH and I are currently sorting out our wills and property details, and this is what we were recently advised by our solicitor.

If the will has been changed relatively recently, I'm with other pp's who say that he may not have had capacity to make that decision.

Just seen this post on reddit, bit weird timing, but goes to show it can happen.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/1527ff0/bought_a_house_from_a_widow_not_hers_to_sell_do_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I absolutely agree she should stay in the house, it is her home and it's right. It's also what we were always told would happen, so at no point was there ever any thought given to her not living there.

It's what happens to the house after she's died that is the change.