Mummy2TandF

[marmon]

I was just wondering if anyone has heard from or spoken to m2t&f. Her last post which was a while ago she seemed very depressed and lost and i just wondered if she is o.k.

Hi There, saw the page and thought what a lovely idea, wishing you strength through your tough days x

Thanks again for all your messages and for your comments on Craig's memorial page and a special thanks to thoses that posted on his page. Am very down at the moment, mothers day was very upsetting for me which surprised me, but the dc's are too young to do anything themselves, so obviously Craig would have bought little presents and card etc and I have been back in a dip ever since One of my friends asked me today if I am starting to feel better and I daren't tell her that I think I am actually feeling worse and the dc's have not been too well - colds and things so have both been really whiney today, just felt like I couldn't do this anymore (not a sucicidal thought) just an emotional one Sorry - I would like to post something more positive but I can't at the moment. Night xxx

hey dont know what to say but have been thinking of you,you should tell your friend how you feel and dont dare apologise

Mummy2T&F I have just remembered a lovely book which i bought for my ds when his dad died called Pip and the edge of heaven.
www.amazon.co.uk/Pip-Edge-Heaven-Elizabeth-Liddle/dp/0745946941/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=12050 68347&sr=8-1

mummy2t&f, just thinking of you and your family. you are often in my thoughts.
xxx

Hi all - thanks for continuing to think of me, although I don't feel up to posting very often lately, I do still read and it is so nice to read your messages .... just a quick update, am feeling very bad still, I went to the doctors on Thursday and asked to be referred to a councellor - I feel like I have gone right the way back to the beginning and to devestating all consuming grief but without the shock and numbness to protect me GP has referred me but said it will probably be 6/7 months before I hear anything .... I am back to sobbing uncontrolably everynight and feel more alone than ever, the children are such hard work and I feel physically and emotionally shattered.... sorry to go on, I would love to type a positive post because you have all been so good. But when I put ds to bed tonight, he sat on the edge of his bed and said he didn't want to lay down because he was a little bit sad that Daddy died and that he didn't want to go to sleep now Daddy isn't here I am mindfull that this was probably a delaying tactic but that doesn't stop it upsetting me

I wish I could say the words to make it better but I know that I can't. So instead... know that I'm thinking of you and holding you in my prayers, you and the children.

Hi m2tandf, i think you should get in touch with CRUISE, i had counselling with them about the same time where you are in your grief and found them brilliant. In my area we had no waiting time and i had a fantastic counsellor, she was quite old but she was also a widow so instantly we had common ground. Look in your phonebook and get in touch with them. The one thing my counsellor did for me was made me realise i was not losing my mind and all the emotions i was going through were perfectally "normal". I know feeling like you do is horrible but i would be more concerned if you came on here saying you were coping really well and everything is fine. Like i have said before support from people is so important and CRUISE will be so good at doing that and they will not leave you until you are ready, plus it is free. Take care and love to your children.xx

We are still thinking of you Mummy2TandF. As Marmon says your feelings are quite normal and it would be much more worrying if you were not feeling anything at all.
Well done for going to see your doctor, but six to seven months does seem an awful long time to wait. Have you been in touch with CRUSE at all?

Hi all, I am still here but have had major problems with my pc ... it never rains but it pours! So I am afraid that I have been unable to access mn or my emails recently - infact they have all dissapeared

Good to see you, i think of you often.

HIya mummy ,i have sent you emails ?? but they have gone obviously, on WH at the momment so speak to you soon. XX

M2T&F, well done with the memorial site, its really good.

My world was ripped apart Easter 2007 when my wife died suddenly. I am raising our 2 beautiful boys 3y10m and 20m.

I hope you are getting support from family/friends at this time, i know that it falls off after the first few months as people return to their normal lives.

I too had the feeling that things were getting worse not better after several months, can't remember timing its just a blur, i hope that it improves for you soon.

sometimes i have to remind myself that I'm not the only one going through this experience.

Solodad - thanks for your post and comments on the memorial site, it means a lot and it is always good to hear from people further on than me, to prove that it is doable - our children are similar ages and it is hard isn't it? But I am constantly amazed at how we do carry on and be strong for the children ... have you had much support friend and family wise?

Nice to see you back - yet another person whose thoughts you occupy....
I can't believe it will take 6 or 7 months for counselling . Does Craig's work offer anything that could help (perhaps in association with life assurance or something like that??)
Beautiful memorial site to Craig - well done.

Very glad to see you back, sorry to hear your pc was playing up. How are the children now? How did you get on with F breath holding attacks?

Waynetta - Thanks for thinking of me, I had a sign up form for the counselling today, had to complete it and send it back, will now be put on the waiting list My GP did suggest the local YMCA but I would have to pay for that, will see how I go and maybe save up for a few sessions while I am waiting for the other to come up!

Dutchoma - Thanks as well, think I have sorted out the pc now, have had to get a new email address though - I will email you with the new address if that's okay?
I didn't follow up on Freyas attacks the replies to my post on here confirmed what I was thinking really and she hasn't done it since. Toby is hard work at the moment but it's hard to know whether that is because he is 3 or because of everything he has had to deal with. Bless him

Been wondering about you M2T&F
Will keep my fingers crossed you get some counselling soon, sounds like you are ready for it now. Did writing Craig's page help at all? It is beautiful.
I think of your dc often and know you are doing everything you can to help them through it whilst trying to cope yourself - you are an amazing mum.

M2T&F, it is hard with such young children. I didn't know how i was ever going to cope during the first days and weeks, none of us did. The children are the only reason to keep going.

I feel lucky that i have the support from family and friends. The best of them are still looking out for me and the boys. I'll see next weekend how much as it will be 12 months since my wife died.

Thankfully i have a good relationship with my in-laws and they look after the boys on a regular basis.

The children are hard work at times, but then everyones can be. This may sound odd, but when friends children are acting up, it reminds me that it is normal behaviour for children. Someone said to me that they test the boundaries when they feel safe and secure.

Do you have support from family and friends?

Hang in there, thinking of you all.

Jackstini - Thanks for the words about Craig's memorial page, yes it did help to build it, I fund it quite theraputic.
Solodad - No I don't really have the support of family or friends, they all havetheir own lives and I don't like to burden them ... they all think I am doing so well, but I am not. This last week all I have done is cried, even called 2 friends last night at midnight because I didn't know what else to do with myself and all I could do was wail that I don't want to do this, I don't like being alone, I need people around me, I hate the long silent evenings, how am I going to carry on All they could say is what's made you feel like this .... err hello ... I always feel like this I just try not to let you all know - sorry I have gone on again but I really feel that i have hit a wall and don't know if I have the energy left to get over it. I know that I must start eating and sleeping to keep my strength up but I don't want to, have no motivation for anything atm

mummy2tandf you are doing so well,you amaze me ,i know its hard ,you must eat and get some rest,there are nights when i cant sleep and everything just goes round in your head,i know. i dont know if it will help but lavendar spray knocks me out, makes dp cough and splutter, but hey im ok.take care of yourself xx

(mummy2tandf sorry to hijack your thread but if you contacted dp for mortgage advice he is having problems getting your email address to work if you could contact him with a number that would be great , if it's not you sorry to bother you.)

Its perfectly nornal to feel the way you do MummytoTandF. If things are awful at night, can you phone the samaritans?

M2T&F, i know that there is nothing i can say that will help, and I'm to far away to be any practical help. All i can offer is to talk if i can work out how to CAT or leave a phone number.
I don't think you are 'going on' there is no need to say sorry to me.
The nights are something i still can't sort, and it doesn't help when people suggest i have an early night, like i choose to stay up till the early hours every night, with everything going round and round in my head.
i feel lonely, not having DW to talk to about the day or the boys. I feel lost.
My boys appear to be Ok, but I'm really struggling with running a business as well (self-employed). i get the feeling that at some point everything is going to jump up and bite me.

Think about you and your DCs

sorry should be
Thinking about you and your DCs.