Has anyone lost their best friend?

[Tanfastic]

My best friend passed away a couple of months ago. We'd been best mates for over 25 years. She was my person, my confidant, my female other half if that makes sense. She died with all my secrets (not that I have any really but she knew my most private thoughts). We never lived in each other's pockets but she was the one person I could truly be myself with, knew me better than anybody, even dh if I'm being honest.

Although I'm grateful to have found that friendship I'm so sad and really struggling with the thought I'm never gonna see her again. It just makes no sense to me.

I have other friends but we're not as close.

Dh isn't the most empathetic and although was great at the time she passed, if I mention her now he doesn't really engage (probably cos he worried I'll get upset). He's very much a "well we've all got to die sometime" type of person so I tend to keep it in and cry on a dog walk or in the car. My mum is the same, changes the subject, again cos she probably doesn't want me to get upset.

I cried solid for two days when I knew she wasn't going to make it and then again once more at her funeral. Never took any time off work or anything so it's not like I'm a blubbering fucking mess. I just miss her. Terribly 🥺.

I don't know what I want to get out of this post but maybe just chat to others who have been in this situation.

A wee message for @justanotherdrama... Thank you for your lovely message to all who've posted on this thread. I'm sorry for the loss of your mum especially to such a cruel disease. I know, I lost my wonderful Dad to cancer coming up 11 years due to cancer and he was only 60. I'd 2 months left in my pregnancy and I was robbed of him meeting his granddaughter. It doesn't matter how much time goes by, we miss our loved ones daily and forever remain in our hearts but we find the strength somehow to carry on. Your Mum would be so proud of you just as all the ones that's posted on here their lives ones are proud of them! Stay strong everyone ❤️

My best friend died at 26 (I'm now 40). I had moved away for work and so we hadn't seen as much of each other in the 2.5 years before she died, but it was still a huge and devastating loss.

Much as we hate to hear it, time really is a great healer. I still feel very sad when I think of my friend but nowadays it's less me missing her and more feeling so sad that she has missed out on so much. But over time, my personal grief has become less intense as I've got married, had children and carried on with life, making new friends and starting new jobs etc. I guess what I'm saying is my life has been busy and full and so the loss is not so intense anymore, though I will always think of and miss her.

Just caught up with this thread, thank you all so much for sharing your experiences it really has helped reading them all 😘

Yes we were 8 and Stephanie was knocked off her bike by an artic.
Never had another friend, still don't.

Yes, last month my best friend killed himself after sending a text message telling us that by the time we get it he would already be dead and leaving instructions for his house and cat.

Was such a shock, we knew he had an upset but didn't think it was such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but you just never really know.

Mine was run over on her way to school when we were 14. Nearly 40 years ago and I still remember that day like it was yesterday.

My best friend when I was at uni, who I’d been best friends with for six years by then, died just before her 21st birthday. Such a waste of life. She was so much fun, so full of adventure and sass.

((Emma))

@Tanfastic I could have written your post I lost my best friend of 25 years 4 weeks ago, it is so difficult, like you I find myself picking up my phone, you just feel lost and as if it isn't real don't you.

I lost my best friend at the beginning of March, she had a heart attack. She was a wonderful, fascinating, kind, caring person. Always trying something new, going on holiday all the time, often by herself.
I had taken photos of her the second last time I saw her, I still can't look at them, but I am so glad I took them.
One thing I wish is, we both love singing, but I never heard her sing, I so wish I had.
I miss you, Julie.

My best friend died in a car accident when he was 25. We were like brother and sister, and so close that nobody believed there wasn't a romantic relationship going on. But no, we were simply the best friends.

21 years later, the grief is still there and I still think of him and miss him most days.

It's all that work that is needed to make a friendship, all the emotional involvement, the good times, the laughter... all that lost in a second, and the utter unfairness that you are still alive, but they are not, and they cannot enjoy all the things they used to do anymore.

I hear you, I am so sorry.

I lost my best friend yesterday. I feel so numb and so deeply sad.

My best friend died due to a lack of oxygen when she was having a tooth out at the dentist when she was 14, I was 12. I had to sing at her funeral. I'd known her and all her family since before I was 5.
A long time ago, and I wonder if we'd have stayed friends and it's sad I didn't find out.

My best friend died in October last year just before her 50 birthday, she had MS, we'd been friends for over 10 years, I miss her every day.

My best mate of 30 years died 18 months ago. From diagnosis to dead within 6 months. I'm very cross with her for leaving us. Very unreasonable but it's how I feel. It's still surreal and I don't really acknowledge it a lot of the time.

My best friend of 26 years brutally took his own life in 2019. It shattered me as a person. I know I will never really get over it.

Hugs to all of you x

I just logged on to bereavement to post about my best friend as I’ve been talking about her to my partner today. She killed herself two years ago. I thought we shared everything but I didn’t ever see that happening.We talked about everything.. music, love, life, books, poetry, nonsensical stuff. I miss her so badly. I told her everything. Two years on I still feel so alone.

We were friends in Scotland more than 30 years ago, and then I moved to Australia, but we talked on the phone all the time, conversations that would last 2 -3 hours. And caught up all the times I came back home. The distance never mattered.

She was the only person I told everything too. I’m really guarded with everyone else.

I had frequent dreams after she died, that she was still here.

Life goes on. I have people I have the odd coffee with etc, but your best friend is your best friend, and it’s just so fekkin’ awful

I am so sorry for your loss x

Found this thread. I’m sorry for jumping on it.
I’ve just learnt today my very close friend has only weeks to live, as little as 2 possibly.
She also just found this out.
We are both 41. Known each other since we were 7.
I am absolutely heartbroken for both her and her daughter. And her large friend group. She is a wonderful person. I don’t know what I’ll do without her around
please send some prayers out for Emma tonight 🙏

So sorry for all the loss and grief and losses to come.
@wheresthehope will light a candle for you and Emma tonight. Make sure you use this time to say everything you want to say.
In 3 weeks i head to Normandy to visit the grave of my best friend who died two years ago at the age of 57.Despite covid I managed to get out and say goodbye to her. It gives me some comfort while I miss her so much.

Yes, lost my dearest friend to suicide a few years ago. I still miss her every day but the pain has dulled over time.

I lost my best friend 3 years ago when she informed she didn't feel she cou,d continue the friendship have an idea why if I'm right, she is a bitch🤷‍♀️thinking about it over the 20 years i knew her she could be downright cutting in her remarks. I guess i was no longer useful to her. It hurts.

Not quite the same as the death of a beloved friend 🙄

Yes I lost my life long best friend to suicide last year and I'm still devastated.

My best friend who supported me all through my horrible marriage break down died about 17 years ago now. It took me a very long time to get over it as left 2 young children of 5 and 8. I was heartbroken for them but they went to live with their Gran and Grandad who lived about 40 miles away. I used to send them postcards every month and birthday cards and gifts. I later heard their Gran died about 5 years later. They were fostered after that and I lost touch with them. I've often wondered about them. I feel guilty I could not do more for them at the time.

Both my best friends died within 18 months of each other, one was 57 (cancer) the other 47 (sepsis). That was around 7 years ago and I think of them every day; my kids loved them too - we have no family so these two women became our extended family, like my DDs' "aunties" or grandmas. We were on holiday recently and looking round the craft shops there were so many pretty things we wanted to buy for them, I was just hit by how cruel it is. I see something on TV or a stage show and think how much I'd love to go along with one of them. They were the curators of my life, they held all my secrets and witnessed all my important moments. I think if I died now there's no one left that really "knew" me if that makes any sense at all. I can't believe I will grow older and older without these two amazing women by my side.

I lost my best friend nearly four years ago to cancer. I still miss her so much. It’s not as raw though, the grief waves are further apart, if you know what I mean. As though my head is getting used to it.