Before you get too sympathetic, I've only seen him once in over 30 years which was last November when he first became ill.
I had no relationship with him because he was abusive to my mother and I witnessed it whilst tiny. Fortunately she had the good sense to get out of it and took me and my sisters and left.
My youngest sister has a relationship with him because she's visited him in Jamaica and wrote to him and called regularly.
I don't know how I feel if I'm honest. In fact the only reason I'm sharing is because I feel I ought to say something and I know I'm going to say the wrong things esp to my youngest DSis.
I feel the need to do something cathartic and I know it sounds bad.. but I don't want to cry for him. I don't know him. I'm only glad that I went to Jamaica in November and saw him. He was not the monster that I remembered but a broken old man. Couldn't bring myself to feel anything for him then either.
So... that's it really. Just thought an nice anonymous public forum was a good place to share [wry grin]