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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My lovely husband died today. He was 31.

276 replies

gillybean89 · 01/01/2023 20:18

My sweet, kind, wonderful husband died this morning. He was on his way to meet me and our children and was involved in a car accident. He was 31 and we have 2 DC aged 5 and 2. I am broken and lost and don't know where we go from here. He was my best friend in the whole world, my rock, my voice of reason, and the best dad I could have wished for for our children. Life is so cruel.

OP posts:
SilverOtter · 01/01/2023 20:40

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. There are no words I can say that would help. I hope you are surrounded by love. May his memory be a blessing.

WitchDancer · 01/01/2023 20:40

I'm sorry to hear this devastating news. I can't think what to say, other than we're here and holding your hand virtually and we'll be here for as long as you need us. If that's for distraction or to listen to you rant at how unfair it is or for you to talk about him, whatever you want we'll be here. Flowers

Startoftheyear2023 · 01/01/2023 20:40

Thinking of you and your DC 💐

Borris · 01/01/2023 20:40

I have no words but am so very sorry

Pansypotter123 · 01/01/2023 20:40

I was widowed young with two young children. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I second the suggestion to join WAY.

I just want to say one thing for you to tuck away into your heart for another day: you won't always feel like this, trust me.

Sending you so much love xxx

Harvey3 · 01/01/2023 20:41

That's devastating to hear. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Tommythetortoise · 01/01/2023 20:41

Oh gosh, I read about this in the local news and and it is so terribly sad.
I don’t have any words OP, other than to send my condolences to you and your family. I’m thinking of you 💕

Cellotapedispenser · 01/01/2023 20:41

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what you're going through but please do take time at your own pace to work through all the decisions and feelings you will have to over the coming weeks and months. What was he like? Do share if you feel it would help. Hugs x

purplecorkheart · 01/01/2023 20:43

I am so so sorry for your loss. Please let people take care of you.

bloodywhitecat · 01/01/2023 20:43

I am so so sorry. You are right, it should never have happened. You will get through the coming days and weeks and you will surprise yourself with your strength, a strength none of us should ever have to find. Much love to you and yours Flowers

galliton · 01/01/2023 20:45

So very, very sorry to hear your devastating news, Gillybean. Thinking of you so much and sending hugs. XXX

heidbuttsupper · 01/01/2023 20:45

I am so sorry OP. I was also widowed young suddenly nearly 5 years ago I think someone unthread mentioned WAY, I found that a real support

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 01/01/2023 20:45

gillybean89 · 01/01/2023 20:27

@Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight thank you. I will write that down for another day. How did you get through each day? I am trying to be strong for the children. My 2 year old doesn't really know what's going on but my 5 year old does. I have tucked them into bed with me tonight, my 5yr old is cuddling one of her dad's jumpers. I am devastated.

Hi OP, I had to be selfish and ask/tell people exactly what I needed/didn’t need from them. I told them that this is how I needed to behave to survive. For instance, I would tell people to change the subject when I needed them to, or when things got overwhelming (which was most of the time for quite a while) that their ‘helpful suggestions’ weren’t helpful (e.g when someone said ‘why don’t you get a cleaner?’) I would tell them if they wanted to help, they should identify someone and arrange for them to come on my behalf without involving me, I was barely coping with breathing. I got friends to take me to the supermarket to get food once I felt like eating.

It is awful. You will somehow survive, OP, but put yourself and your kids first right now.

shruggingitoff · 01/01/2023 20:45

Sending huge hugs. Please let your family take care of you. It's so unfair

MirandaWest · 01/01/2023 20:47

I’m so sorry

piddocktrumperiness · 01/01/2023 20:47

I am so so sorry to hear this OP- My heart is with you. Please take care of yourself

42isthemeaning · 01/01/2023 20:48

I am so sorry for your loss.
There are no words. Flowers

wouldukissafrog · 01/01/2023 20:48

You and your children are in my thoughts. I wish I could say something that would help.

Always in your hearts - in your children he will love on xx

wouldukissafrog · 01/01/2023 20:48

Live on

Therunecaster · 01/01/2023 20:48

I'm so very sorry. Please accept my condolences x

Always4Brenner · 01/01/2023 20:49

Hugs handhold so sad for you.

CloseYourMouthLynn · 01/01/2023 20:49

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're able to get some sleep. X

Someo · 01/01/2023 20:49

So sorry to hear your news OP. I hope you're surrounded by love and support. 💐

romdowa · 01/01/2023 20:50

Sending you strength ❤️ condolences to you and your babies

mummyh2016 · 01/01/2023 20:51

I'm so sorry OP. Going off the 89 in your username we're the same age; I also have a 5 year old and a younger child. Sending you some unMnetty love. We're your virtual shoulder to cry on so please post what you need to; we're all listening.

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