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Original poster

My dad died suddenly

59 replies

SliceoQuiche · 03/12/2022 07:44

Yesterday in the early evening my lovely dad died. It was sudden- I dropped my son off for a weekend with his grandparents 2 hours beforehand and he was chatting and being his usual ‘dad’ self, told me he’d see me Sunday when they brought my son home.
He went into cardiac arrest when it was just him and my son in the room watching the football and doing a crossword together.. he’s only 11 and I keep thinking he must have been so frightened. But he was wonderful and did everything he could and should have done.
Mum called me to say the paramedics were there and I got to the house as they were working on him. He was taken to hospital when they’d stabilised him. We followed and learned on arrival that he’d had another arrest in the ambulance and then another at the hospital.
I feel like I’m sleep walking and can’t process what’s happening… 2pm we were talking as normal, by 6:30pm I was holding his hand in the hospital after he’d passed.

I don’t know why I’m posting.. maybe to find clarity if I say what happened again. None of this makes sense and there isn’t a word to describe how devastated I am.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 03/12/2022 07:46

I’m so sorry, such a shock for you all.
But I would say that he didn’t suffer, wouldn’t have known. The best way to go.

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 03/12/2022 07:47

I’m so sorry Flowers

You might be in shock for a while because it was all so sudden.

Be gentle with yourself and keep writing/talking if it helps.

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/12/2022 07:48

I am so sorry. It must be such a terrible shock. Your son sounds absolutely great and I'm sure it will be a comfort eventually that your dad spent his last moments with him.

herbygarden · 03/12/2022 07:48

I am truly so sorry for your loss Flowers

MassiveSalad22 · 03/12/2022 07:50

Wow, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sounds like he was having a lovely time with his family when it happened ❤️

ivykaty44 · 03/12/2022 07:51

I’m so sorry for your loss.

this will take a lot of processing over the next few days, you’ll be in shock for a while and living in adrenaline.

do you need any practical advice? What ti do next , what you should be doing or what will happen?

Catnuzzle · 03/12/2022 07:51

I lost my Dad in similar circumstances nearly 23 years ago. It still hurts. I can remember the feeling of it just couldn't be real, but knowing it was and the pain being intolerable.

I'm so sorry.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 03/12/2022 07:51

I know exactly the scenario you are going through and the shock is like nothing you can imagine. I am so sorry for your loss, take all the time you need to process and navigate through this.

FuckConvoGiveMeAForest · 03/12/2022 07:52
Flowers
crussont · 03/12/2022 07:52

I am so so sorry

urbanbuddha · 03/12/2022 07:52

So sorry for your loss. Flowers

HooverIsAlwaysBroken · 03/12/2022 07:53

I am so sorry OP. A very similar thing happened to me. My dad died suddenly when on a mini-break with his new partner. We had to arrange for the body to be brought home.

I was sleepwalking for weeks, living on tinned food and unable to think straight.

I am so sorry for your loss 💐 . Be kind to yourself.

GoingtotheWinchester · 03/12/2022 07:55

Sudden death is so devastating and hard to process. I’m so sorry for your loss xx

GingerScallop · 03/12/2022 07:55

Am so so sorry for your loss.

savvy7 · 03/12/2022 07:57

Really sorry you are going through this. Went through similar recently and it's really difficult xx

MrsAliceRichards · 03/12/2022 08:00

I'm so sorry op, my dad died in similar circumstances last November. We were chatting and I headed off with my kids for a few hours with the intention we would go back for a take away. When my mum rang I thought it was for our order. In some ways it still doesn't feel real. You need to take it hour by hour for now. Much love.

Changingplace · 03/12/2022 08:04

I’m so sorry for your loss, sending you love and strength.

Lilavanblue · 03/12/2022 08:06

So sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock Flowers

CatByDay · 03/12/2022 08:14

I'm so sorry that you have lost your Dad. I lost my dad very suddenly too many years ago and still feel like I'm in shock about it. I hope you and your family hold each other close. Xxxx

pistachioshells · 03/12/2022 08:29

I lost my mum in similar circumstances. I was speaking to her on the phone and 90 minutes later she was gone. There aren't any words to describe it and you'll probably be numb for a while (every person's experience is different). For me, when the waves of pain started to hit me, I went with them. I'd go to a private place and just cry and cry and cry. Sometimes I thought I'd never stop but I eventually did and I'd feel a bit better until the next time it happened.

Your journey will be unique to you and there isn't a 'right' way to process this or grieve. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Panda8383 · 03/12/2022 08:45

I’m really sorry for your loss 💔 it’s heartbreaking, how is your son doing x

Ladybyrd · 03/12/2022 08:57

I'm so sorry for your loss. You might want to consider bereavement counselling for your son to help him process what's happened.

abigailsnan · 03/12/2022 09:18

You have my heart felt condolences OP,I know exactly how devastated you must be feeling,there is never a good time to lose someone so close but it seems so much harder when it happens so quickly my OH left us very suddenly 3 yrs ago on 9th December he was on his way to take my DD to work at 8am and had just left home in his car to pick her up,he never made the pick up (5mins away) but just died in his car after pulling in at the Rd side his 3 ACs are still devastated to this day it takes a long time to get over the shock.Take care of yourself and your son keep an extra special eye on your mum she will need you so much at this sad time.

KittensNotMittens · 03/12/2022 09:32

I’m so sorry. Mum went like this - my brother has visited her and by the time he was halfway home she has died.

He called me and I had to call our sister (different time zone so she just screamed when she picked up the phone and heard my voice).

It will take time to process. Be kind to your self.

loislovesstewie · 03/12/2022 11:05

I'm sorry for for your loss. My DH died suddenly earlier this year, he sat in a chair and 10 minutes later had quietly passed away. For him it was a painless death, for us it has been a very painful year. Please take some comfort in the knowledge that he was happy and that his death was quite probably swift and painless. Please take care of yourself, you are in shock, you are going to be grieving for some time, but you will remember how much you loved one another and all of the lovely, often silly things about them and take comfort from that. Sending you a hug.