Arguments over inheritance

[rrrrhyy]

My mother steadily deteriorated over the last couple of years of her life,becoming less and less able to care for herself.My sister,who has a busy job as well as being a farmers wife,regularly travelled two hours to visit her and help.The last year mum deteriorated very quickly-the final six months my sister staying with her for five days and nights and sorting out 24 hour carers for the other days.She did everything for mum and lived there full time for the final month,sorting out carers (although she did most of it herself),medical care,equipment care and 1001 other things.When mum died,my sister organised the funeral then the sale of the house after sorting out the contents.It must have cost her a fortune,both in time and money but she never complained,just paid for everything.When the will was read,everything was divided equally between her three children.I'm disabled and live an eight hour train journey and my brother lives in Canada so neither of us did our fair share for mum and I was more than happy to give my sister a few thousand from my share.She did accept it as finances were becoming tight for her,despite the inheritance.My brother,although he is very wealthy offered nothing.
When clearing mum's possessions,my sister found £8000 in cash hidden in mum's nightwear drawer,along with a note saying my sister was to have it for everything she did.She immediately told myself and our brother-I was pleased for her to keep it,she more than deserved it but our brother said we should divide it in three.Technically he's correct,it did form part of mum's estate but my sister could easily have kept it without saying anything.My brother has no need of it-do you think he's morally in the wrong?

Yep he’s a dick

Your brother is out of order, your sister should keep the money, he should keep his opinions to himself.

Yes morally, but as he knows, legally he isn’t…. In your shoes I’d have a stern word with your brother and remind him just how much your sister did to help your mother - and prevent her estate having to be used to fund her care.

He's mean - whilst she shouldn't have loads more, it goes to show support for your mum and her carer.. ie your sister and what would he have done if she said come and do your fair share ... he'd have paid a fortune to someone else

So do t read and move on. Not nice, she's lost her mum ffs

@Verytirednow then go to bed, get some sleep, and try again in the morning when you're feeling better.
OP your sister sounds lovely. Your brother less so.

Your brother is a total dick, as you probably already know. I’m not even sure he’s 100% on solid ground, legally. The covering note doesn’t say “I leave this to you” it says it’s “for everything you did.” Like a payment.

Your mum clearly wanted your sister to have the £8k in return for services rendered including funeral etc, and your mum took steps to leave the gift before she died, your brother shouldn’t interfere and can fuck right off.

Your sister should keep the money it was a request from your mum she should . Point this out to your brother and tell him you are following the wishes of your mother by doing so surely he won’t argue with this

Your mum made her wishes clear. Shame your brother even knows about this. You and your sister sound lovely.

Sorry for your loss

your brother is a dick.
So is one of the posters on this thread

And if he complains, draw up a list of things your sister paid for, and the hours she cared for your mother and present them as a bill to be split 3 ways. I'm sure it would come to £8k.

This!

Your brother is an almighty knob. I wish she hadn't told him about it.

Does that actually count as part of her state if it came with a note to her? Is it any different from me putting an envelope in my drawer with some money in for my neighbour as she's been so great to me? Would that have to be split with the family?

Sorry for your loss OP - yes she should have it that was your mums wish

Yes he's a greedy little shit.
If he was my brother I'd never talk to him again.
Your sister sounds lovely.

I agree with @Zonder, she definitely needs to do a breakdown of all money spent on everything, including travel, care, equipment, funeral costs etc, and loss of earnings. I imagine it would come to more than 8k. I imagine he'd probably back off when he finds out he actually needs to contribute towards your mothers final care costs!

She should absolutely keep the money. It's a shame she told him about it really, there's was a note saying it was for her so he didn't need to know. She's needs to just tell him that your DM intended it for her as she looked after her and leave it at that. He's a total dick.

The cost of the funeral should have been paid by the estate before being split into 3 so if that didn't happen she should get it back from the 8k. Otherwise split it between the three of ye.

Your mam had the opportunity to gift her money before she died but chose not too.

Might not be a pedantic person but you are a dick.

Tell your sister to take it with your and your mum’s blessing. You should remind your brother how terrible your mother’s lat years would have been without your sister’s devotion and care.
Whats he going to do, rush over from Canada fighting for his share?

Your sister should keep the money - and both of you should refuse to discuss it with him.

Very sorry for your loss. I think before the estate is divided the executor of the estate (if a family member etc) gets to take out a portion to pay for the work and time they do in sorting out the estate , maybe that's just in the United States? I could be totally wrong. You should maybe post on legal?