Anyone had success trying to contact a dead loved one?

[Cafeaulait27]

It’s a bit woo woo and normally I’m not like this but I lost my dad very unexpectedly recently and I am overcome with grief and sadness. I want to talk to him so badly but obviously know that’s not possible, but also at times I feel so desperate that I look into psychic mediums.

just wondered if anyone has ever had any success contacting a loved one either through a medium or other means, or has had them visit in some way?

I feel like I’m going mad but I’m literally desperate to see him again x

Pick a quiet time. Sit with your own thoughts and memories. Maybe hold a photo or item to remember them by.
Talk to them, as if they are in another room. Tell them the things you need to tell them. Say what you are thinking. Cry if you want.

Thank you, I am finding that now 3 months have gone by itd getting easier, but of course I still wish he was with us every day. When I go for a walk into town I remember when we took that walk in February a few days before he died and I always think - he’s missed the blossom, he’s missing summer, when he was here it was still winter.

I hope to one day see him again. I’ve now come to realise going to a medium would be silly and if he knew he would say not to waste my money on that.

losing him has really exacerbated my anxieties. I worry that loved ones will die as I now know it really does happen. I’m terrified of my baby son choking while eating and also at baby group if grabby babies come over I worry they’ll hurt him or poke him in the eye and he’ll be blinded.

when something horrible and unfair has happened to you you realise it really does happen, not just to people on tv or in the newspaper but actually me and my family. And then you feel like it could happen again

@Cafeaulait27 I am so sorry for your loss. From the timeline you provide it seems like you lost your darling dad around the same time I lost mine. I know how utterly and completely painful it is (am crying as I type), I can't bear to talk about him, I can hardly bear to think about him for any length of time as the tears hurt so much. I wish you peace as you learn to live with your terrible loss.

@Hoplesscynic I hope you don't mind me addressing you directly. I loved your interpretation of the OP's dream and think I may have experienced something similar. A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was back in our family home where we lived probably 30 years ago. I was inside the front room and could hear dad's voice outside. I went out and was so happy to see it was him. In the dream I know he was about to start doing the gardening and he was pulling the front door closed. I held it open and said "can I watch?" and he said "why would you want to watch?". I then told him that I missed him. I woke up smiling but then started sobbing.

I find a lot of comfort when I dream of him (it has only happened twice) and I like to think he is visiting me when he knows I really need to see him. Having read your interpretation of the OPs dream I am choosing to think perhaps he was saying to me that I don't need to try and "watch" him wherever he is, that he is with me anyway. Hoping so anyway...

@Wishimaywishimight I sent you a PM

When I was struggling to deal with a sudden and shocking bereavement, I started going to a local spiritualist church. I never paid for a reading, but I took a lot of comfort from going during that time and it did help me to process my loss and find a semblance of peace.

Whatever you believe or don't believe, if you think it will help you grieve then it's absolutely fine to do. I would suggest though that you go to a spiritualist church and take it from there.

I'm really sorry your loss

“when something horrible and unfair has happened to you you realise it really does happen, not just to people on tv or in the newspaper but actually me and my family. And then you feel like it could happen again”

I understand what you’ve written here. A grenade has been thrown into your world and you feel like it could happen again. It does get less intense with time but you always have it in the back of your mind.

I agree it’s this too.

I’ve had positive experiences with a spiritual church.

OP I'm so sorry about your dad.

My lovely dad died when I was a teenager. For years I had dreams like you describe, that he was alive and it had all been a mistake. Eventually those dreams stopped. My mum died a few years ago and I have had the same dreams about her.

I think it's your brain's way of processing the grief. But dreams can be very comforting. My mum is in a lot of my dreams, sometime in the dream I hug her and know that it isn't real but I still really enjoy it.

Having said that...I do think my mum in particular makes her presence known through dreams. One of my DD's has described some really amazing dreams about both of my parents. It's very comforting, either way.

So sorry OP. The pain is so raw at first. I lost my dad then mum over a decade ago. I have never had the courage to see a medium properly; I’m anxious that my parents wouldn’t come through and I’d be disappointed. However, I had a reiki session once and at the end the therapist (who is a medium) said that she had a message from my mum. It was something that was very specific and completely believable.

I do believe there is far more to this universe that we can comprehend. I’ve certainly experienced a few things that prompted me to think ‘I know that was you.’ Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, I think you eventually reach a point when you just know that they’re very much still with you (in your DNA and your heart).

Honestly, yes. My husband was stopped in a pub around 10 years ago by someone who said he had a message for him. He asked permission to pass the message and my husband, a true sceptic, laughed and said aye go for it. At the time I was being investigated for suspected cancer, he told my husband unprompted “it’s not cancer, she’s going to be alright”. He told him we’d soon have a little boy, at the time we were ttc and had a positive test two weeks later. My son is now 10. He said many other things that didn’t make sense at the time but over the last decade have come to pass. I’m pretty woo but my husband isn’t in the slightest and this man was a total stranger, didn’t ask for anything and wasn’t paid. He wasn’t a “professional” medium or anything he just said he gives messages to whom ever he is drawn to. People like that I believe. I don’t think I’d pay for a reading though.

I visit every year the fortune teller at Fantasy Island Ingoldmells. When I first visited her I was with my late dp & she told him that he had a problem & if he didn't stop it he would die, she could take away the pain for the time being but only he could stop it. She also told me I was pregnant with a baby girl, at the time I hadn't told anyone including dp I was pregnant. When I visited her the next year without dp she told me someone I loved had a problem that would drive us apart but only the person with the problem could stop it. The first time after dp died I went she told me I had lost someone I thought I had a future with, she could see him & he was holding a baby girl named after a flower, I had lost the baby I was expecting the first time I went, she described him right down to what he was wearing, his trousers, shirt & waistcoat he had been put in his coffin in, we had named our baby Rosie, she said he was happy & with his grandad & told me that he had told her to tell me he loved me & although he knew I was sad now I would be happy again & to remember the happy times we had.

@Cafeaulait27 glad to see that you realised going to a medium would be silly.

One thing I wanted to suggest to anyone bereaved or feeling the way the OP was feeling is to look into lucid dreaming.

This is dreaming where you can practice to sort of get down into the consciousness of your dream and be aware you are dreaming. Supposedly if you get very good at it you can "control" your dream. In other words, if you were highly skilled at lucid dreaming you'd be able go to sleep and choose to open a door and find your loved one there.

The reason I suggest this is for a few reasons.

It helps you go to sleep which when you are bereaved can be a struggle as I know. There are lot of free lucid dreaming hypnosis tapes on youtube and generally if you look for it. Listening to one as you are trying to go to sleep helps you and takes your mind off your loss.

Its an interesting little side project that can help give you some focus beyond your bereavment. Theres lots about lucid dreaming around if you become interested in it. A fiction book that has some lucid dreaming content which is an interesting read itself is Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough. It's also a Netflix series en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behind_Her_Eyes_(TV_series).

Here's some links to start if you are interested
youth-time.eu/how-to-solve-problems-in-controlled-dreams/

www.reddit.com/r/LucidDreaming/comments/1p1107/richard_feynmans_account_of_his_investigations/
www.sleepfoundation.org/dreams/lucid-dreams

I've found that even if you don't actually manage it, that if you are focussing on the loved one before you go to sleep as part of your attempts to lucid dream you often dream of them. It probably different for different people but I always feel like I've seen them and wake up happy. I guess it may make some people sad and lost so may not be for everyone but if it works for you worth a try.

All I can say is that from my experience you cannot make contact with the dead. Yes they can live on in your heart and memories, you can talk to them but they cannot make contact with you. My husband died suddenly at 34 leaving me and my young kids behind. I used to sit and cry for hours at the spot where he died begging him to give me a sign ...... nothing. I wanted to believe he could make contact but had to accept the fact that this wasn't possible.
People out there trying to trick vulnerable people into believing they can make contact with your loved one are only after your money. They are very clever at what they do and know what you want to hear