Anyone had success trying to contact a dead loved one?

[Cafeaulait27]

It’s a bit woo woo and normally I’m not like this but I lost my dad very unexpectedly recently and I am overcome with grief and sadness. I want to talk to him so badly but obviously know that’s not possible, but also at times I feel so desperate that I look into psychic mediums.

just wondered if anyone has ever had any success contacting a loved one either through a medium or other means, or has had them visit in some way?

I feel like I’m going mad but I’m literally desperate to see him again x

I talked to my Dad and felt comforted, and agree with PP re a feeling of peace and joy. It's years ago now and I can still feel so devastated and lonely at times but both feelings can coexist. Grief isn't a straight line but it gets easier to live with.

and time passed and I dealt with her absence as best I could, remembering her often, seeing her in my sister, talking about her with my brothers. And then one day, as I was ding a bit of weeding in the garden, I was reminded of her and although I didn't feel her presence, and she didn't talk to me, suddenly I felt a joy in the memories

This is a lovely way of putting it. My Mum died 6 years ago and I was wrecked with grief for a good year, then a little less and now I can (mostly) think and talk about her without feeling so upset. I have some of her things in my house and am pleasantly reminded of her. She's around me and with me. Not in a sense of actually seeing or hearing her, but she's in me and my daughter and in ours and other people's memories.

I think a lot of people that speak with negativity towards mediumship, haven’t seen a good medium

I think a lot of people who don't believe the royal family are lizard people haven't watched a good David Icke video.

It's the only possible reason they don't agree, I can't be wrong.

I don't think the dead can communicate with us. If they could, there would be a lot more evidence.

But, I do believe that there is more in the world/universe than we are equipped to understand.

I think of it as like insects and other tiny creatures, going about their lives with no knowledge of us, or the world around them. They are simply not equipped to perceive it.
So maybe there are things that we are not able to perceive.

That includes mediums too as they are human.

I'm sorry for your loss, but please don't let a medium make you believe that there is contact. They want your money and they are preying on your current vulnerability.

You cannot speak to the dead. Because the dead have left and become ashes or worm food. However - I often speak to my grandmother. And my head always - always - produces her answers in response quick smart. 5 mins before DS crowned - I screamed out loud to my grandmother long gone - that I couldn’t do it, it was hurting like hell. And in my head she said to me “hold your head high, I always know wherever my little (my name) goes she will emerge victorious - be straight upright and hold your head high”. I squatted straight upright with my head held high and DS came out after 36 hours of agony.

ive often had illness or fever and have said to her that I feel poorly or miserable and randomly my head has asked “have you eaten anything today? Go downstairs, please, have some cereal or toast at least”.

of course these sentences aren’t said by her. But she’s left enough of an impression on me for me to say it to myself. And thus - she continues in me, through me.

that is how we speak to the dead. Not through charlatans.

“But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing after death and no way for communicating. Nobody can ever say for certain that it’s impossible - just because you haven’t got proof of something yourself / haven’t experienced it yourself doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. “

^ This is true.

Im not convinced by life after death or mediums but who knows, if it brings people comfort (not if your spending lots of cash all the time).

I talk to my dad and Nan sometimes, just in case- you never know. It’s comforting to think that souls live on and you’ll see your loved ones again one day.

Im sorry for your loss OP💐

I don't really believe that there is any possibility of communicating with people after death. Fundamentally, I believe that, once you're dead, you're dead and that's the end. However, I cannot say that with absolute certainty - there are so many things that we don't really understand.

A very dear friend of mine firmly believes that she is a medium. She has never charged anyone for her services, and never intends to charge. She earns her living through a perfectly job but sees herself as having a gift that she feels obliged to share with others when the occasion arises. I don't really know what to make of it tbh - my cynical brain tells me that she is just extremely perceptive and good at reading people, but I have known her to be a tremendous source of comfort to people who have been bereaved, and it's certainly true that she seems to know stuff that she has no means of knowing. Maybe it's just coincidence, who knows, but it is a bit freaky sometimes! I don't really understand it or believe in it, but I am absolutely sure that she believes in what she is saying herself and that there is no material benefit to her in doing what she does. And if others find help and comfort in it, then who am I to question it?

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

I'm really really sorry about your dad.

I know you must want to talk to him so badly and you can, all the time. You're looking for a reciprocal conversation, and of course you would be. ❤️

I have a bit of perceptiveness about me, always have, and I have been able to tell people things that i "couldn't have known." I can't explain that really, but I can read people very well. It's in gestures, tone of voice, eye contact, where they choose to look, choice of words, what they're wearing, not wearing, where they're going, even the quality of their perfume and condition of their teeth. Psychiatrists and psychologists also cold read people. I believe that if someone truly has the gift of full reciprocal conversation with spirits, or any sort of communication with them, they wouldn't charge you £50 and more for the privilege of relaying a message. They'd just tell it to you.

For the same amount of money, a psychologist would reflect back to you what you were feeling and offer you the tools to learn to cope. A psychic would also pick up the same signals as the psychologist, except they'll be given back to you in the form of a message that will be comforting and will mean you'll come back and part with more cash or recommend them and get the more cash.

I'm really sorry OP, but self advertised psychics are (not even always good) cold readers and 90% of their clientele come to them because they're desperate and they know it.

I'm so sorry about your dad. I know how painful it is as I've lost both of my parents. It's very tough.

What helps? Time, boringly. And also knowing that they're a part of you. You share DNA, you don't need to go paying fraudsters to deliver make believe messages.

I find this from Mark Twain quite comforting, strangely enough ...

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Sorry for your loss.
I don't believe in psychics at all. I think they make money out of grief.

However I do believe that people we love and lose do take care of us and I do sometimes feel my dads presence or guidance.

Thank you all. I had a dream last night that my dad came back - he didn’t die after all, they’d made a mistake. Oh how I wish it was real

It’s so painful, isn’t it. I regularly have dreams with Dad in them, always being himself. They’re wonderful and then I wake up.

I am sorry for you loss op. I vividly remember losing my dad. The pain felt physical. There are so many things I should have said to him.

You cannot speak to him again. He is gone. Whatever anyone says, he is gone.

Time does help and while you will always have a huge dad shaped hole in you life you will adjust to your new normal.

As the grief eases its iron grip you will realise the things you really needed to tell him, he already knew. The things you need him to tell you will become clear, you'll know.

Take your time and just grieve your loss, it does get easier.

(8 years since I lost my dad and the tears are there as I write this, they are always with you in your heart x)

I was trying to explain my grief when my wife died to my son (not her son) and I said that it was like there being a huge hole in the garden, 10 metres across and bottomless. There is no avoiding it, or pretending it isn't there; it dominates everything. You can't resist peering into it, trying to see the bottom, tempted sometimes to jump in (as we all are when standing on the edge of a precipice). It's too big to fill in. All you can do is learn to live with it, grow some shrubs by it, put in a bench - whatever it takes to make it better. And, as time goes past, you do learn to live with it....eventually

Its maybe a little crass as a metaphor - and I think my son thought I was nuts - but it seemed appropriate for me at the time

thats a very good metaphor @Emptyandsad how long ago did your wife die? so sorry for your loss.

@CockingASnook its great to have the dreams, it makes us feel closer to them but also I find it renews the grief in the morning.

@Blanketpolicy thank you this is reassuring. It’s hard to see how I’ll ever move on at the moment. Right now I just want to go back in time to before it happened.

in the first few weeks after he died, I wanted to die. I didn’t want to live in this new world. It also coincided with Ukraine being invaded which just made me hate this world even more. I have a husband and child, it was very hard for my husband to hear. I think I’ve improved a little since then but most mornings I wake up and just don’t want to start the day. I have lots to be grateful for, but I just wish my dad was still here too. It’s changed everything

Take your time, you really don't want to die you are just trying to find a way out of the all consuming grief, it is normal to feel helpless on how to make yourself feel better in the beginning.

For weeks after my dad died I wept in the shower every morning when it hit again and couldn't stop the tears in my eyes whenever I was alone out in fields walking the dog.

Then one morning I didn't cry. I didn't even realise it until later in the day. The improvements come slowly but believe me they do come. Getting back to some normal activities, for me work, helped too.

Gain strength from the foundations your lovely dad set for your life and what your dad would want for you now.

@Cafeaulait27
thats a very good metaphor @Emptyandsad how long ago did your wife die? so sorry for your loss.

She died in November 2020, very suddenly, of cancer. I definitely at the time (and probably still now, although less strongly) wanted to die too. Not to kill myself but, if I was told that I had a terminal illness I would welcome it. Because I have lost all sense of what I am for, all belief that I will enjoy life again.

And I am lonely but with a loneliness that can't be cured by being with people who aren't her. I feel like I am living life now in black and white, because all the colour has gone

But I am changing; I find growing in me a reluctance to allow myself to be defined by her death. So, a long way from being ok, but aware of a gradual, non-linear upturn. Here's to more of it; although there is a reluctance in me to accept any form of "getting over" her death. First because I feel guilty for it and second because it distances me from her. Already I am forgetting bits of her and I hate that; so part of me craves the misery 🙄

@Emptyandsad I am so so sorry for your loss. I totally understand what you mean - I feel very much that I want my dad to still be a real life person, and not just a memory, but 2 months on I already feel the 3D-ness of him slipping through my fingers. I try to remember what it felt like when we hugged, his voice, things he used to say. I really hope I don’t forget.

I can’t help feeling like it’s a very long time before I (might) get to see him again (when I go) which also makes me sad.

I’m so sorry about your dad.

But to echo others, mediums are fake and manipulative. Your money would be much better spent on a grief counsellor.

SIGNS MY DARLING IS AROUND US

1. I went to sleep for a couple of hours after my darling died. When I awoke, I saw a brilliant rainbow, brighter than I have ever seen before. I could actually see it from my bed – the first and only time.
2. L asked for a sign that day. Her special ring, which we had given her for her 21stbirthday disappeared, although she was convinced that she had been wearing it; it turned up under her pillow that day.
3. V asked for a sign and a book fell off her shelf half an hour later and opened at a significant page.
4. I asked for a sign and received an email from my darling’s email with just a X for a message.
5. I received a letter from an insurance company to our current address, we both did, saying that they believed that we lived here but to contact them to update our contact details in respect of a policy with them. I called them and found out that there was a joint life policy taken out 20 years ago, which I had forgotten about, and the last address they had for us was from 15 years earlier and we had moved several times in the meantime.
6. I played a track on YouTube, then went downstairs to answer the door, then was talking to the girls. I went back upstairs, and YouTube had stopped at the beginning of ‘I’m Your Man’. It then played ‘Dance me to the End of Love’, followed by ‘Brothers in Arms’, all very poignant and meaningful before going back to the original track I had put on.
7. On Valentine’s Day, there was a large white feather inside my handbag, which definitely wasn’t there before.
8. On Valentine’s Day morning, reading the Times online, I was alerted to read a previous posted by my darling 26 months earlier, which described how he was happy with the choices which he had made in life, including his family.
9. I was walking in the street in London when I heard the theme from the Godfather being played, as though by a busker, but when I turned round it stopped and there was nobody there. This was my darling’s favourite film, and the theme tune was played, as mourners entered the church for his funeral. At the same time, a prefect white feather floated by the window of our home in front of V. She also had a perfect white feather fall in front of her when walking to a medical appointment. There were many feathers seen by us in the weeks before my darling’s death, including one in V’s coffee mug and one flapping against the window. Whenever I walked anywhere, my path would be strewn with them. I found a feather inside the wine rack, which wasn’t there before.
10. On another occasion, a few days after my darling died, V found a Godfather themed chopping board in our favourite charity shop, which is linked to the hospice which helped my love. The Godfather was his favourite film, and he was a brilliant cook, legendary in his skills at chopping veg etc, making sure everything was ‘mise en place’. I have never seen anything Godfather related in the shop, either before or since.
11. All of these signs were when we were missing our beloved, as though he knew that we needed him. When it was V’s birthday, I was sorting out his wallet and found one rail ticket, just one, dated the 26thFebruary, ie V’s birthday, not for this year but from a couple of years earlier. She was 26 this year, so it is as though he were wishing her a happy 26th birthday.
12. I was vacuuming in the dining room, thinking of him, and missing him intensely, when the vacuum cleaner made an odd noise, so I switched it off, turned it over, and a silver heart fell into my hand. It did not belong to V or L, who had never seen it before, and I had vacuumed and mopped in the dining room on multiple occasions without finding it.
13. A week later, I found another tiny silver heart on the kitchen floor, although I had also vacuumed and mopped the floor that very day.
14. Before my darling died, at the exact time he was diagnosed, the small longcase clock started chiming loudly, even though it doesn’t normally work. It also chimed after my father died. I also found a silver pentagon at the back of a drawer in the dining room, which nobody recognised or knew where it had come from, but which I feel strongly was sent by my father to comfort me.

You may wish to read The Other Side by Stephen Shaw. It is a non taxing and highly interesting take on what happens after death.

My grandmother used to say she’d come back as a white butterfly and when we needed to see her she’d be there. I don’t believe in woo but there’s something so lovely and comforting about seeing a white butterfly, it’s not her. It’s what meaning you attach to it that’s important not why anyone else will tell you.

speak to the stars where his energy came from and to where it returned. Allow your love and memories of him to give you the answers you need and look for signs of him in the smiles or mannerisms of relatives. You are
his voice now. He lives on in your heart and mind. He equipped you with the skills to survive in life without him. That is how he communicates to you now.

I went to a spiritualist church many many years ago with some colleagues - in the days before the internet. We didn’t know who would be talking, we just pitched up for laugh really. One of the mediums asked if one of my colleagues (who was a complete sceptic) would take the message - and then proceeded to tell him some very personal and detailed stuff about his childhood. The medium didn’t ask him questions, just told him stuff - my colleague was really subdued afterwards, I think he was in shock. No idea what happened or how the medium did it. No money was exchanged.

@Cafeaulait27
Your dream of your dad may have been a Visitation Dream - his way of connecting directly with you, as you have also been wishing for.
The part about "They made a mistake and he wasn't dead" may be his message to you. Just letting you know that yes, they have made a mistake, for he isn't dead but alive and well in the astral world.
That's just my personal interpretation obviously. My genuine belief is that our souls are eternal and immortal. Energy cannot be destroyed but simply transformed, and we may exist in many forms whether material or not.
Re: mediums agree most are charlatans but some must be genuine - have a look at a series from the early 2000's called Psychic Investigators. The psychics in all the episodes had provided crucial information, without which the murder cases would not have been solved. Some work with energy imprints/trails, others say they get the details directly from the dead victims. These people's abilities are actually recognised by real life police officers, sergeants, sheriffs etc. due to the incredible accuracy and detailed clues they'd given (locations of the bodies, identities of killers, etc - that the police had no idea of).