Mums who understand, please share. I lost my child and I lost part of me....I can never forget him and never will.

[Vio]

My boy left me on 11 Sept, he lived only a little more than 4 months..its been nearly 2 months now...after what I have gone through.. I think I am quite fighter myself too, I do try and live happy but sometimes, deep deep down theres a wound...i doubt if it will ever heal. I don't feel it most of the time becos I don't want to stay miserable but when i do feel it , it hurts so much and I can cry non stop for a while...whenever I think of the final night we spent together, it made me sad and how much he had to put up with as a baby...I just wish he was given a chance to live, healthy and happily...

vio. you have been, and still are, so incredibly brave. your grief runs deep and whilst you can be positive - the hurt is still there. it is only recently that jimjim passed away and you have come so far. he was a beautiful brave wee boy.

Vio - I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. My friend has a dd with EB and works very closely with DEBRA - a EB charity. I know that they are very supportive and help similiar parents like you.

I too have had m/c and ectopic pgs but cannot imagine the pain caused by losing a child

Vio - I remember the posts about your brave boy, and I am so sad for your terrible loss. Your letter and web page for James are beautiful. I have no idea why these awful things happen, but please know I am thinking of you and hoping you find some peace. Take care of yourself.

What an adorable little boy. Truely beautiful, those eyes.
I am so terribly sorry for what you all went through

Your letter is so touching.
I am so sad for your loss, and for all of your afmily.
I do hope you get the support you need.

What a beautiful little boy.I am so so sorry for your loss.

I lost a daughter mid pregnancy in April 2005 and that was so hard.I cannot imagine how I would have coped had she been born and lived then died.

Your bravery is amazing.I will pray for you and your brave little boy tonight xxx

I am so sorry for your loss vio, he was a truly beautiful little boy. I'm sorry, I know you asked for other mums who understand and I can't, I really can't understand the pain you and others are going through. Its unimaginable. I hope you get some support from here.

What a beautiful little boy. You were so lucky to have had him. I cannot even begin to understand what you are going through and how you must be feeling.

Hugs xxxxxx

I have no real understanding of what it feels like to lose a child, it must be unbearable. Hopefully you will receive some support here.

I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful little boy.

I knew JimJim, and I know Vio.

You are the most amazing person I have ever met, you are so brave and strong. Words cannot numb the pain that you are feeling, they cannot heal the wound. We both know that JimJim had the bestest mummy and daddy that a little boy could ever wish for. He's sitting up there, on that rainbow watching over you all.

If you feel able please contact ggg, I read the threads when her little girl past away, she is strong like you, I'm sure it would help you to talk to someone that can understand better than us.

I hope us visiting today didnt cause you any pain, I cant imagine how hard it must have been. Love and hugs to you, looking forward to seeing you next week.

I am sorry for your loss. Wishing you so much strength to get through each day.

what a beautiful boy. and what a terrible loss you have suffered. I am so sorry.

he was a beautiful little boy. your letter is heart breaking to read, i don't know how you had the strength to write it. i don't know what else to say

I think I am finding it hard to seperate him from EB, there wasn't a day without drugs or dressings and the final week was very hard for him..he's only a baby..he couldn't tell me how hard it was for him...he must have suffered a bit..when I thought about how hard it was for him ..tears just come.

Sometimes, when I think of Jim Jim...I asked why? I have done nothing bad in my whole life ..why?

GMM & WO..thanks, you 2 have been great. No, it didnt upset me seeing C & C...actually, I love them and love seeing them grow..I know Jim Jim would have been able to do the same ..like messing wee Cs hair..) but then when i see them..i wish Jim Jim was healthy and then when they get older ...they can run in the garden, play football and just having loads of fun ..with wee A the three of them would be great mates but then the reality is....Jim Jim has gone..this pic in my head will never come true...then i will feel sad.

thinking of youxtake care he is a lovely little man,xx

I lost my dd at 2 days and was devastated. I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you have any happy memories that you could focus on? When you feel ready, go out with a friend, go shopping, do things that will distract you from your grief and gradually your life will return. Take it a day at a time, do what you feel comfortable with. You will never forget him but you will be able to be happy again. The hardest times are his birthday and when a child of similar age or the same name is encountered

Vio, I hope you are feeling better today. My feeling is that when you lose a child while you do lose part of yourself they will equally remain part of you and in your heart and mind - if that makes any sense. Seeing my daughter's peers is a very bittersweet experience - as my friends' children they are a source of delight but also an aching reminder of what our family, and dd, will cruelly never have. This will be harder at times than than at others. Some of of these children are now older than dd was,a stark reminder of the changed order of things.

Doing the things you always did , shopping, watching tv etc, may give some welcome respite from your grief and its exhausting effect. The adage 'life goes on' does ring true and the hope is that it becomes easier as time passes. Don't rush things and do whatever you need to get you through. It sounds like you have lovely, caring rl friends,

Vio, your letter was so wonderful and your little boy so beautiful. I think Jim Jim was very lucky to have had yu as his Mommy, your love for him is so obvious.
I cannot even imagine how you must feel, but wanted to wish you peace and love for the future xxx

Vio - I read your posts when little James was born, and later when he died, and I do think of you often.
I have not had experience of a loss of this complete total-ness, but I would not imagine that anyone could lose the pain, however many layers in time grow over it. Keep talking about your son, you are his Mummy and your pride and love is now - MN will listen.

And do contact gggglimpopo who gave her e mmail below - she is lovely and writes of the things you write of.

XXXXXXXXX

Vio - i am very sorry foryour loss and can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. i had a peek at your web page and i must say he is absolutely gorgeous. your letter bought me to tears. you have been so courageous. thoughts are with you.x

Am in tears reading your sad, sad note. I lost a boy at 22 weeks of pregnancy, but I can't imagine what it's like to have lost a baby that you've brought into this world alive. You poor, brave thing. Look after yourself. Am sure all babies go to some kind of heaven.

What a beautiful little boy. His eyes are so expressive. You can see how much he loves you in those big eyes and I can feel how much you love him.

I am sorry. More sorry than I can express. My dh is crying for your little one too.

I am so so sorry.

He was such a beautiful baby. I have no words that are good enough. I can not begin to imagine your pain.

You are in my thoughts
xx

i'm so sorry he's beautiful