My soulmate is gone

[poppy2021]

I lost my beloved husband to Covid today. We have been together 39 years. My girls and I are just broken

5 weeks have passed. I hade to speak to the Dr at the start of the week to get something to help me sleep which fortunately have worked. I can cope better throughout the day when I'm not exhausted

My youngest daughter and I decided to put a little Christmas tree up yesterday with all the special ornaments on it. I bought a little robin one in memory of DH. The angel that normally is on the top is too heavy for the little tree so she is sitting beside his photo.
He would be horrified as he loved a massive real tree but I couldn't bring myself to get one. Maybe next year.

I'm not sure how we'll get through Christmas but we'll try our best. Love and miss him so much 😥💔

The lack of sleep, or disturbed sleep, really makes things worse imo, @poppy2021. I had some Zopiclone from the doctor, but they only gave me 3-4 hours sleep, which I'm able to get without them now. But I wake early, 4 or 5 am, and can't get back to sleep.

I'm spending Christmas with my "support bubble" (SIL, her husband and daughter, and MIL) at SILs house, which will be very different. DP and I always had really quiet Christmases, just us, lots of food and wine, so it will be strange, but hopefully in a good way.

I keep getting blindsided by schmaltzy Christmas songs. "All I want for Christmas is You" is particularly pertinent this year. Like you, I'm missing him terribly.

Nothing to say really, just much love and be very very proud of your 39 years. Losing someone suck big time.

Oh bless you. Dp would understand you not getting a real tree. Far better to have a low Christmas you can enjoy in small ways than to plough on, have lots of stress then associate Christmas with horrible stress for years to come. A little tree sounds absolutely perfect.

Like of little things it's important not to just try to battle on like normal. It's a time to cut yourself some enormous slack. Dont think "what would do say if he was still here?" Think " what would dp say right now if he could tell you?"

I bet he would say "you are doing great. Be kinder to yourself. One foot in front of another and just get to the end of the week finding joy as it pops up".

I'm sure dp is with you in some way and only wishing your pain would lesson a little bit and to find things that make you smile

I'm so sorry for your loss, 62 is no age at all, what an awful loss for your family. I'm glad to read that you have your daughter with you for a good while. Best wishes to you and your family, I hope you can all have some comforting time together this Christmas x

@LakieLady I hope you are sleeping a bit better. I have had a few good sobs this week and it's mostly at bedtime. I am spending Christmas Day with my girls, Mum and my sister. It will be hard but we will be there to support each other

@HMSBeagle thank you for your kind words. I will try to be kind to myself. Before he went onto the be ventilator he told the doctor to tell us exactly those words. He was one in a million. I miss him so much. My heart is just broken.

To @LakieLady and all who are facing their firs Christmas without their partners I wish you peace and send love and hugs. Thank you for your support. My girls ate here with me and we'll be with my Mum and sister tomorrow

Christmas will be tough but I will cherish the memories we made during our lives together. ❤️❤️❤️

I hope you manage to share some happy memories. It sounds so hard.

So 2020 is nearly over. So tough to think of going into a new year without him. I'm trying not to dwell on the things he won't get to do and am trying to stay positive but it's really tough

Miss you so much my love 💔💔💔

Oh @poppy2021, it's so, so hard to think of a future when the person who meant the most to you is in your past. I cannot think of a single positive thing that the future may hold, apart from perhaps an end to this bastard virus.

New Year's day was the day we regarded as our anniversary. Ten years ago tomorrow, we went out for lunch and he told me that, after 23 years of being the best of friends, I was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And we were inseparable from then until the day he died.

I love him and miss him and can't seem to find any meaning or joy in anything knowing that he's no longer in the world. He meant everything to me, and now that he's gone, everything that's left is meaningless.

Poppy, I am so sorry for your loss

How are your girls doing ?

I'm so sorry Praying for you all x

So sorry for your loss, such a dreadful thing to happen.

Oh Poppy, I am so sorry for your loss.

@WonderfulWinde they are my proudest achievement, I love them so much. They are such a comfort to me. Like me they have good days and bad days

@LakieLady my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel.

@poppy2021 so so sorry for your loss. Can't imagine what you are going through. Thoughts are with you and your family

Oh @poppy2021 I have only just read your thread and wanted to send a little message to express my condolences. I'm so sorry you've lost your lovely soul mate. Wishing you strength and the ability to appreciate small pockets of joy xxxx

@poppy2021 - I’m so deeply sorry for your loss xx

I'm so very sorry poppy2021 and also LakieLady, this virus is so cruel. 62 is no age, and I'm so sorry for you and your families' losses.

Just had a long cry tonight. I feel so alone. I'll never hear him ask "have I told you I love you today?" again. He asked me every day then told me he loved me so much. Losing my DH just feels so unfair and I can't help but feel what did he or I do to deserve this. I'm heartbroken 💔

Sending you virtual hugs @poppy2021.
So sorry xx

I'm so sorry for your loss not the same type of bereavement and not Covid but I very suddenly lost my dad at 64 a couple of weeks before your DH passed away. It sounds like you and your DH had a lovely relationship, a rare partnership of love and delight in each other's company. Life is so cruel and unfair. You didn't deserve this x

So sorry for your loss**@poppy2021**
It's good to cry.

Oh my goodness poppy I’m so sorry for your loss. The love you and your DH shared just jumps out of the screen. This is the first time I’ve seen your thread. I wish that peace will come to you at some point in this new year.

I'm so sorry that you've lost your soulmate xxx